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SN children

RANT - DS's teacher is a cow

18 replies

oliandmimismummy · 31/10/2007 13:31

Just posting as I will explode otherwise. Last week DS aged 8 was supposed to hand in a resumen of a short story he was given to read. Anyway, he hadn't even read the story as I saw in his school diary that he had until 19th November to hand in the work. He came out of school last Thurs and I saw in his diary that he had noted down that same day he had to hand in the resumen for the following day. It would have been impossible for him to read the book (103 pages)& write a resumen in one evening. I had a quick word with his teacher who said to just read a few pages and write a couple of lines. OK, seemed fair until yesterday when he brought the marked work back and he had a really crap mark because it was supposed to have been min. 10 lines long and told to repeat it. Felt like punching her. DS is confused because as far as he is concerned he did the work correctly. Sorry for the long rant - had to get it off my chest.

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NAB3 · 31/10/2007 13:32

Aw, that sounds harsh.

I would speak to the teacher to clarify what went wrong.

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oliandmimismummy · 31/10/2007 14:47

I was all for having a word with her but DH thinks that I'll just wind her up the wrong way and it'll be DS who pays the price. She knows that DS has ASD but makes no allowances whatsoever.

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NAB3 · 31/10/2007 16:04

If she is the sort of teacher who would take you speaking to her out on your child, then maybe you should speak to someone else.

Sounds awful.

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hana · 31/10/2007 16:07

you felt like punching her and call her a cow?
I think you have some anger issues

yes she's made a mistake, maybe she forgot what she told you?

life's too short to get so easily upset

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Blandmum · 31/10/2007 16:11

I think that if you want to hit a woman over this you have serious anger issues. Whatever the wrongs and rights of the issue, you are not going to make anything better for your son by calling the woman a cow and wanting to hit her.

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AttilaTheMeerkat · 31/10/2007 16:11

I would speak to the SENCO re this matter as she then can take it up directly with his teacher.

BTW does your DS have a Statement?.

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yurt1 · 31/10/2007 16:14

oh gawd it's difficult if the teacher doesn't 'get' ASD. Does he have her for the rest of the year?

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Blandmum · 31/10/2007 16:19

It is worth speaking to the SENCO, particularly if your son has specific literacy targets.

It might also be helpful if the teacher (or an LSW) could write his homework in his diary for him, to help make things clearer all round

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PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs · 31/10/2007 16:25

part of ASD at the mainstream level is some disorganisation- so teacher should be checking diary adtes etc regularly. it's a simple part of an essential skill for ASD, learning self organisation. Its at leasta s important long term as individual amrks. Does he have an IEP? Assuming he does with the literacy, I would ask for a review and ask that appropriate measures be placed on it to encourage these skills- thus illustrating to the teacher that ASD is about mroe than literacy and social skills, and without a whole person approach anything in palce is likely to fall apart quite rapidly, as illustrated by thsi story.

Its hard to see our kids hurt but do agree you should not get quite so angry- change things instead of seething.

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jessy1971 · 31/10/2007 18:52

i would have aword with the head and take it from there i know how you feel i had similer problems last year you don't have anger issues it's the teacher that was in the wrong have a quiet word with the head or the teacher involed and see what happens but keep calm

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Nat1H · 02/11/2007 20:57

do hana and martianbishop have children with SN? certainly doesn't sound like it!! You do NOT have anger issues - you are just at the end of your tether with an incompetent and insentitive teacher. Complain to the HEAD, not the SENCO - the Head will get things done!! Good luck

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Blandmum · 02/11/2007 21:01

Yes, my son has dyspraxia, and has 10 hours of 1 to 1 support in the classroom.

He is significantly behind in his ability to write and read, and has issues with behaviour and confidence as a result.

anything else you want to know?

I find it much better to work with the staff, and not to want to hit them or call them a cow. I know that I have been lucky in the standard of care my son has from his senco, but as a teacher myself I know that some parental threats of voilence are followed through. I'm sure this wouldn't be a caae with OMM, but staing calm has helped my son far more than losing my rag.

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Nat1H · 02/11/2007 21:11

I agree martianbishop. I also am a teacher, but did not take this comment as a threat, just a comment on how olianmimismummy was feeling at the time.
I have a child with CP, epilepsy, developmental delay, severe speech problems etc etc, and have often felt this way with the reactions/comments/actions of professionals involved with my child. Of course, I would never carry out these feelings.
Surely, mumsnet is a place where parents can speak out about how they are feeling, without judgement being passed. Just felt that yourself and hana were being a little harsh, when the mum really needed a little support.

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Blandmum · 02/11/2007 21:14

and if you read my later post you will see that I sugested that she talks to the SENCO.

I do have some small understanding (and I'm not being sarcastic, I know that ds's needs are minor comapred to many) of how stressful this is, from both sides of the fence, as it were. But getting someones back up is never going to help. getting people on side does. It shouldn't be like this, but it is.

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Nat1H · 02/11/2007 21:21

All the SENCO's I have dealt with have been too 'woolly' to achieve anything (sorry to the good ones out there). I have learned that it is quicker and more effective to go straight to the top. I am sick of wasting my time working my way up the ladder, so I don't bother any more. I don't really care who I offend, as long as my son gets the appropriate support/treatment.

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Blandmum · 02/11/2007 21:24

I can understand your frustration.

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Heated · 02/11/2007 22:00

I'd ask for clarification from the teacher given the conversation you had with her yourself. Either she's moved her marking goalposts between speaking to you; her idea of a couple of lines isn't yours; there was other criteria in the h/w to meet or maybe more work has since been done on this in class & therefore more was expected?

If this is a one-off then it's an irritant and happens to all children but if it's a repeated problem then I think the pp's suggestion that the teacher or a TA just cast an eye for a term on his planner to make sure he's recording h/w accurately - this is something that can be done for any child who's having problems with h/w, sn or not.

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oliandmimismummy · 05/11/2007 12:43

I haven't been able to get to a pc for a few days now but a big thank you to all the lovely ladies who offered words of support and to those who have decided I have an anger issue, I can categorically state that I have NEVER used violence against anyone and was merely venting my anger in a non-violent/destructive manner (in my opinion). Nobody got hurt.

We live in Spain and we don't have the support offered in the UK. If DS cannot keep up in a MS school he would be sent to a school for children with severe learning difficulties and this would not be right for him as he is borderline.

He has had this teacher since Sept and she will be his teacher for 2 school years. The school routine over here is pretty stressful for kids: schoolday is from 9-5, 1-2 hrs hw each evening for a "normal" child and 2-3 hrs for DS - (more at w/e), uncompleted classwork has to be finished off at home. There are also tests every 2 wks so revision also has to be done. HW is not done by DS if I am not sitting next to him constantly - I still haven't found a way for him to work more independently which I'm desperate for as I also have a DD aged 3 who also wants attention.

I did have a word with the teacher about recording of hw but I was told that he's 8 now and old enough to organise himself. However, she did make sure that her birthday was written up in the diary!! I also mentioned that the hw set is too much for each day but the response I got was that it has to be handed in on time. Sympathetic huh?

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