Am I being silly - ASD diagnosis

[Catcol]

I am new to this, so please excuse me if this is a bit topsy turvy so to speak. My DS is 3.5, I have always felt he is a bit different from others but have had my other mummy friends tell me that he is fine. A little about why I felt he was different; he would get upset if there was any milk/water on his sippy cup and would cry until cleaned, if I came downstairs with a tshirt on and then put a cardi on he would tell me to take it off, doesn't like sitting with others for snack time at preschool but happy to free play, just been to stay with inlaws for 10 days & he didn't speak to them once. There are other things that he does, that seem different from his peers.

So, I went to my HV in May who referred me to to the community paediatrician, she said it would take about 6 months for an appointment, well got an appointment at beginning of July, was shocked how quickly, they said he was showing autistic traits but not typical ones (he points, has relatively good eye contact) so would see me again at later date, but wanted me to have hearing test and SaLT follow up. Hearing test was fine, SaLT was a drop in, but they want to see him again, went back to paediatrician and they have diagnosed him as having autism from what I have said and what they have seen (2 hours).

Now my issue is, they have diagnosed him on what i have told them and i am worried that what I have told them sounds worse than what is if that makes sense, as some of his things come and go and they change, that maybe I am being neurotic and he is fine. Did anyone else feel like that after getting a diagnosis?

Thank you for reading, sorry it is soooo long.

[coppertop]

I think the 'Was it something I said?' feeling is quite a common one.

Friends will often either try to reassure you that everything is fine. They also only see a relatively small part of your DS' life, whereas you see the whole picture.

A Paed won't give a diagnosis unless they are sure. You could go to an appointment and reel off a long list of behaviours and signs, but they still wouldn't diagnose unless they had evidence of their own.

The changes are also pretty typical. People who only met my two boys when they were older just don't recognise the descriptions of what they were like when they were younger. Equally, people who knew them when they were younger can't believe how different they both are now.

[Catcol]

Thanks Coppertop, it's good to know I am not the only one that thinks like this. I think because everything has happened so fast that I am still trying to get my head round it. Xx

[Tambaboy]

Catcol, I know how you feel. I was shocked when paed was ready to dx DS 5 minutes into the second visit. I was hoping for a dyspraxia and/or SLI dx and when she said it was clear cut ASD I started arguing with her.
The information she had was based on what we told her ( we could have made everything up!) ; the SALT reports, the questionnaire the school filled in and a quick physical examination and chat with DS. I said I didn't believe it and demanded proof. My view was that she hadn't observed him for long enough to know, she hadn't even visited him at school. After a while she agreed to carry out ADOS with her colleague at a later date.

The school was shocked at the manner he was dx if not the outcome and the ADOS report helped me accepting the dx.


The dx has helped to get the Autism advisory teacher's support and now DS is going through Statutory Assessment.

[bjkmummy]

my older son was dx very quickly at age 5 and I struggled afterwards to believe it - fast forward now to him being 13 and he is in a special school and its clear the dx was correct. these days professionals have to be much more sure before they dx. my sons dx did help him to get the support he needed and a statement.

[FridayJones]

Same here. All very fresh (don't even have the report yet, just the verbal confirmation). Part of me was trying to rule out asd even tho I had told everyone that's what I worried about.

Now dd actually has the diagnosis (paed, SALT and psych all said definite ASD in the space of 3 weeks), I tell everyone(socially) she just needs SALT.

It's technically true, that is all she needs (ATM), all her diagnosed "impairments" are language & social (or mild and only visible at home).

And I'm finding it hard to even say the word autism out loud. Because it just doesn't hasn't sunk in yet.

[Catcol]

Thank you all for taking the time to reply, it's comforting to know that others understand.

Tambaboy - that was how I felt, it was literally within a few minutes of second visit that she said it was ASD and I couldn't quite understand how they could know that by such a short period with him.

Bjkmummy - as you say this will hopefully put help into place for him, as he is due to start school next September and at the minute he is so not ready for it.

FridayJones - like you I was hoping that they were going to send me away, telling me that I was just a paranoid mother and there was nothing wrong with him, wishful thinking eh!

I suppose it's going to take a lot of time for it all to sink in and it is fab to know that there is so many of you out there that know what I am going through.

[StarlightMcKenzie]

I remember my referral was by the Senior HV to 'put my mind at rest' as I'd been banging on for ages about something. The HV said she saw nothing of what I was talking about.

Within minutes of meeting the paed asked if I had considered autism. I looked at her in shock because I hadn't. As far as I was expecting, I was there to 'have my mind put to rest'.

[StarlightMcKenzie]

You know you can ask for a second opinion right?

It might help you to know that someone else has cast their eyes over the whole thing.

[SproutsMa]

I'm so glad I have read this today. We are just about to go for our first SaLT appt next week and we are waiting for a referral to the pediatrician. I keep hoping that they will tell me I am being daft but deep down I think I know its going to be an autism diagnosis.