did you have a specialist health visitor assigned? or been to salt drop in?

[Botherations]

Sorry, May be the wrong place but I hoped someone here may be able to help.

A hv popped in today for a development review of dd, 20 months. She pushed a bit to persuade that dd needs a referral to the cdc. I was a bit distracted by this and didn't question when she said "oh, and you'll get a specialist health visitor" and registered it after she went. Is this by virtue of referral, or if the cdc thinks she needs it? Sorry for daft questions, but I was a bit thrown. I haven't seen a hv for any of them after the first weeks!

For the interim wait for referral she's recommended salt drop in sessions. Does anyone have experience to share?

Background: dd initially showed signs of hemiplegia but has come on hugely, discharged after mri and initial physio session from neighbouring area hospital. Told it'd be very subtle and given advice. Diagnosis very mild hemiplegia. Dd now walks, but falls many times a day, usually went still and concentrating rather than tripping. She has no language or understanding of it. I have been too concerned as her progress has been exceptional from a stiff and very delayed baby to a happy smiley, if tiny, little girl who no longer stands out. The language in particular wasn't a worry, she uses gesture fantastically and communicates needs. Facebook spoke late too, the only difference is her lack of understanding. She for example waves if you wave and goes to the door, but without waving does not understand the word bye.

[Botherations]

How ds was auto corrected to Facebook I don't know...

[Bilberry]

Have you had her hearing checked? If not I would ask for a referral for that as that can affect speech. We didn't get a specialist HV but could be just an area thing. The HV we had at our 2 year check was hopeless so having a specialist who may know more about the system sounds good.

[UpsyDaisysarmpit]

We had a specialist HV. She saw us and supported us through diagnosis and a couple more visits.
I bumped into her at the CDC the other month at DD's yearly paed review. We hadn't seen her in 2 years. DD obviously didn't recognise her. She is only with us until DD is 5 so can't think when we'll see her again as that is very soon.

[UpsyDaisysarmpit]

she was good as our guide through the system though when DD was gojng through diagnosis.

[Botherations]

Thank you both for sharing. I don't anticipate dd getting a diagnosis, she is catching up well from a slow start and has always done things in her own time. She used to stick out among her peers, but now doesn't get noticed by other mums at babygroups.

Upsy, what stage was the hv assigned if you can remember? Was it before referrals were accepted? I don't mean to be ungrateful, it's a good service it sounds like, but I feel silly if we get one! I would get the cdc will see her once and that's it.

The salt drop in lady was lovely. Talked a while and she agreed it's purely language and she interacts very well. Suggested makaton if dd becomes frustrated, I speak bsl (deaf sister) so naturally I sign a lot which has helped her anyway. She'll refer her as her understanding of spoken language hasn't yet developed, although her USe of gesture is great. Will also book a hearing test, but agreed it seemed ok.

[Botherations]

Right, I saw the hv today and I left feeling worse.

She asked me to pop into the baby clinic to sign forms for referral, so a lovely 1 hr wait to sign the form with 10 or so eavesdroppers!

I understand she was referring to SALT, but no she stressed it's for 'a full development review' with the child development team. It's for 'EVERYTHING' including (pointed look) 'social skills'.

I'm now thinking we've been barking up different trees and I'm quite insecure. DD doesn't like other children in her space, but watches them, and hates being touched-she freaks. At 20 months I wasn't remotely worried about this though.

[Botherations]

Sorry to ramble, but I've been overthinking:

Strengths: happy, smiley, laughs easily, shares e.g. feeding her brother ice-cream, loving, eye-contact, points if she wants, generally lovely to be around

possible delay at 20 months: no language at all, babbles and shows no signs of understanding words, doesn't copy at the time (though you'll see her doing it later), very poor balance, unusually small, doesn't like other children in her space (e.g. in playground if another child stands next to her at the drawing table she screams), many fears (e.g. masks, dressing up, cartoons that are large), can be away with the fairies a lot, uncoordinated generally falling regularly

I'm just a bit shell-shocked as it's all snowballed from me mentioning her general low-tone/ flexibility and lack of pincer grip to the full whammy of 'multi-disclipinary team' a 'CAF' and 'deciding which specialists will be involved' from a few weeks ago where I didn't think twice about how she compared to others beyond a vague awareness she was immature and unthinkingly pairing her up with younger babies at playgroup.

[Ineedmorepatience]

Hi botherations It does all sound very stressful but try to remember your Dd won't be diagnosed with anything unless she needs to be.

Multi disciplinery teams are very thorough and should involve you in all steps of the process.

Some people on here have been in the system for years, especially with girls! Early diagnosis of developmental difficulties is actually a good thing as intervention can be put into place and with the correct diagnosis children can be signposted to the correct help.

Whatever happens she is still your lovely little girl, be kind to yourself and good luck

[Botherations]

Thanks, it's good to hear the antidote to today's conversation. She is my lovely girl. My sisters both have sn, I'm not blind to the difficulties but even if she does (which I'd be surprised) she is perfect to me. It sounds so twee I know but I'm just not too fussed who she is, and part of me just wants to be left alone to muddle through together.

[Ineedmorepatience]

The thing is bother you dont have to go to any appointments! You can just ring up when they appointment comes and say you wont be attending.

Really it is entirely your decision, your Dd is still little. If you have no concerns then dont go, you are her mum you know her best.

If in the future you decide you do want her to be seen, you can just go through your GP and sidestep the HV altogether.

Good luck

[Botherations]

I've been considering cancelling it but I wasn't sure. It's been pretty fast, once it's there you feel guilty if you don't. Also (ok possibly paranoid here) I worry if it's a CP red flag not to attend to medical needs or something (end paranoia)

[Ineedmorepatience]

I think after her difficult start you would be well within your rights to say you want to give it a bit longer, especially as she has made progress.

If she is well looked after [which I am sure she is] I am sure you have nothing to fear from CP.

I suppose what you need to decide is could some additional therapy benefit her and you could possibly get that by going down the assessment route.

[Botherations]

Thank you for talking sense.

I've only seen the salt group which really seemed to be aimed at quite basic parenting skills, stuff like talk to your baby or sing to her like it was a revelation. I think it's lowered my view of what will be offered, everything through our children's centre is ultimately aimed at basic parenting rather than therapy whatever name they give it.

Ultimately I think the bottem line is I've been turned upside down. The reality is the referral time will be long I'll have time to exhaust very emotion...