Feels like the thing that will push me over edge

[cansu]

Dd aged 9 has had her old ABA tutor as TA since reception. School took tutor on at my suggestion as she was so good with dd. she has also been more than just TA as she has looked after dd after school sometimes and has worked with her since she was 3. She had no experience or qualifications when she started working but with training from consultant etc proved to be brilliant with dd and has really enabled dd to make progress and cope in mainstream school. Today she phoned me to say she had taken another job starting in sept and had resigned. To say I am gutted is an understatement. I feel upset that she didn't warn me she was looking for new job and am also terrified that dd will have no decent transition to a new TA. School are crap and the placement has only worked as TA was great. I have another ex with autism and have fought two tribunals over the years. I am worn out and feel this is the last straw as I am now back to fighting and worrying. I can't eat and feel so depressed. Please help me get a grip.

[sickofsocalledexperts]

That is a blow but things will look different / better in the morning and no-one is indispensable. I think the ABA training is key but actually a good tutor can be created as long as there is a good heart and good brain. Is there another school LSA you could train up?

Agree you needed way more warning though, but she was prob scared to broach it

[cansu]

Thing is when dd started there head was supportive and senco really keen to try it. Now new head is useless and senco is inexperienced but likes to pretend she knows everything. Am unlikely to have any input into decision and they are more than likely to let her fail, throw up their hands and say they can't cope with her and push me to take her elsewhere. There lies the problem there isn't anywhere. The only decent provision is independent special school which I don't feel I could win placement for. I know you're right and I have to just move on but feel like it is all starting again. Also feel really sad that dd will be completely lost when she returns in sept. She relies heavily on TA and always has bad day when she is away. She has v limited lang and will simply not understand why she isn't there. I know she has every right to move on, I just wish she could have done it in a kinder way so we could have prepared for it properly.

[boobybum]

Can you find someone and train them up over the summer? It's a risk but you might just be able to go to the head and say you have found someone who will work for the same pay, you have trained them up at your own expense and dd is used to them. The head may take them on to save the hassle of finding someone themselves?
I'm guessing you don't have anything in the statement about TA having to have ABA experience?

[cansu]

Just can't afford it tbh. no ABA in statement and TA has just unofficially used ABA techniques with dd as she was allowed to have pretty much free rein. They wouldn't see it as ABA as such. I am so fucked off. It feels like the last bloody straw. Why does life have to be so bloody hard?

[sickofsocalledexperts]

That is good idea: let them interview the candidate, as that saves them a job , then your candidate shines out

[sickofsocalledexperts]

You need a big drink and regroup in the morning

[TigerLightBurning]

I feel for you. Would she be able to handover to a new TA or is that it? Perhaps you could ask her to write some sort of hints and tips for the next TA specific to your DC.
It may not turn out to be as bad as you fear. Sometimes a change can bring about something positive unexpectedly. Fingers crossed.

[TigerLightBurning]

I feel for you. Would she be able to handover to a new TA or is that it? Perhaps you could ask her to write some sort of hints and tips for the next TA specific to your DC.
It may not turn out to be as bad as you fear. Sometimes a change can bring about something positive unexpectedly. Fingers crossed.

[sickofsocalledexperts]

Would the old one agree at least to (informally) train a new one!

[jumboartbox]

That must be really hard and it must still be sinking in

A friend of a friend was a head of a special school
And he once said to me that a change of staff/school can actually be a stimulus for a child

It's a question of finding the right person isn't it.

Could you ask to sit on the interview panel?


She should have let you know with enough notice for school to find the replacement before this term ended
If she was feeling like she needed a change better she goes rather than hang in there and do a half hearted job

[cansu]

You are right. I need to try and regroup. I am still sitting here bloody crying about it all. I don't think she would help tbh. She was amazing with dd and talked about how guilty she felt, but I kind of feel like she is done with us. She used to have dd after school a bit but a few months ago suddenly told me she couldn't do it anymore as she wanted to spend more time on her NVQ course. It was fair enough and I said fine but she did this giving me less than a weeks notice to find an alternative. I know I am probably being unreasonable but I feel she has let dd down massively. I don't even know if I could even bring myself to ask her to help anyone new. It wouldn't surprise me if school didn't just juggle things round to get an existing TA to work with her on a bloody rota, despite fact that none of them have been able to manage her thus far.