ASD, how do you stop inappropriate behaviours?

[noblegiraffe]

DS is just finishing reception and school suspect ASD. It's a bit of a shock as some of the behaviours they describe at school, constantly touching other children (and staff) getting upset if they touch him and then pinching or hitting, I've not really seen him do. He is fine when playing with friends or cousins.

So I've got the holidays with him and I'd like to work with him on addressing some of his behaviour, but how on earth do I go about it? Can I even help him stop groping both children and teachers?

I'd also like him to stop making silly noises when excited as its a bit embarrassing. Is this possible?

I'd like him to fit in a bit better.

[TigerLightBurning]

Take a look at the sensory processing thread.

[dontknowwhat2callmyself]

Maybe try redirecting him to another activity etc.. if DD is doing something I feel is inappropriate I say "DD lets do/look at this" which seems to change her focus.

[noblegiraffe]

He does it when I'm not there. I want to stop him doing things in the first place as it is annoying other children and causing DS to hit out.

[noblegiraffe]

I had a look at the sensory processing thread but couldn't really see anything?

[TigerLightBurning]

The touching and hitting etc sounds like sensory seeking to me. My DS pinches and stuff sometimes related to this. The out of sync child book has a questionnaire in about the behaviors they exhibit. Is it because he is anxious?

[TigerLightBurning]

My DS is the same age and we went down the private OT route, after the same sort of behaviours at school. She goes into school and works on his motor skills and gives them exercises for them to do with him to help. Since doing this he has settled down a lot more at school. The school may have to build some time in to allow "sensory time". My son likes those Furb balls. They give him something to squeeze.

[noblegiraffe]

Thanks, I'll look a bit more into the sensory stuff. He doesn't have any issues with seams or fabrics or labels so at first glance it didn't seem to apply.

Tiger that's interesting, was your DS identified before school as having issues or have you gone through all this much faster than me? I don't even know really where to start looking for an OT or anything, nothing has been diagnosed or assessed, just school identifying behaviours and raising concerns. He has sat on a bobbly cushion and been given Blu tak and they said that worked for a bit but doesn't any more (and the Blu tak went up his nose...!)

[TigerLightBurning]

It is about hypo sensitivity as well and hyper sensitivity. Does he bang into things? DS tends to run backwards and forwards banging into the walls and stuff. Push his or your tummy? Making the noises is certainly what DS does when he is anxious, and kicking.

I'd recommend you do some reading up. The school should be able to get you referred to the NHS OT but don't hold your breath, some areas have not been doing sensory OT.

We found a little indoor trampoline good for getting some of his energy out.

I think it is called a sensory diet.

[TigerLightBurning]

Have you been to your GP about the ASD? It can take ages to get a diagnosis (years) so if not you might want to go sooner rather than later.

[TigerLightBurning]

I think understanding is the key. They are generally not doing things to be naughty, it may be their way of dealing with a situation.

[noblegiraffe]

I don't know what to do at the moment. It's all a bit weird, he's fine academically, at home he's great. He's lovely with his little sister, he plays nicely with other children we have over, we can take him places (e.g. birthday parties) without worrying about him. Our issues at home are that he's a fussy eater and cries easily if he doesn't get his own way. He's happy, compliant, funny. But maybe we don't place any demands on him?

But school are saying he's a loner with poor eye contact, little sense of humour, poor at transitions, doesn't like others touching him or breaking rules and who can't concentrate or stop touching other children and adults.

So any diagnosis would be school led. If I took him to the doc I really don't know what I could say apart from 'school say....'

[TigerLightBurning]

Maybe take him and say that. The trouble will come if the school don't think they can cope with him, and if they need to get extra help then all the assessments by professionals do help. Does he have a statement or do they think he needs 1 to 1? Have the school suggested anything?

[Notcontent]

Noblegiraffe - just wanted to say that this is sounding very familiar to me.

My dd is 8 and has always been a lovely, social child. Fine to take anywhere, etc. But I think she has started displaying inappropriate behaviours at school over the last year - maybe it's been longer, but was just not obvious. Strangely enough nothing has yet been picked up by school but my dd has told me about it herself - I think she knows that some of the things she does are not right but can't help herself - and I think it happens when she is stressed, anxious, angry. So touching children, whistling or shouting in their ear, snatching things, saying inappropriate things.

[noblegiraffe]

What I don't understand is how if it is ASD how it isn't obvious. I was worried about autism from birth, DS was a terrible sleeper and I suppose you look for reasons, I'm a maths teacher, DH is a computer programmer and these things seem to go together. But he met every milestone, made eye contact, laughed in all the right places. I did the mchat questionnaire for him and he scored 1, which is pretty negligible.

So if I spent his life looking for it how could it have been such a shock when school said they thought he is on the spectrum? I was so satisfied that he wasn't. Yes, he has some issues I know about, but the school pretty much presented a textbook case.

[alicek13]

The spectrum is very broad and children can be completely different. Personally I would try getting him assessed and look at my options after the assessment. Sometimes teachers can be over exaggerating because they have to deal with 30 children, but some other times they can pick up subtle differences, and recognise signs very early on. In any case there is no harm on investigating things further...

[TigerLightBurning]

Sometimes it takes someone else to point it out. We were lucky that the nursery picked it up. We thought oh he might have ASD but its mild but when being assessed it was obvious that it was not that mild. It is heartbreaking but when you know the reason for the behavior it makes a big difference and helps you to help them. I found the not knowing the hardest thing.