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Results of multi agency meeting, what do I do now ?

20 replies

Babieseverywhere · 15/07/2014 20:04

Behavioural support wanted me to do behavioural course.

I showed her my Triple P certificate, completed yesterday.

Senco and class teacher insisted that behavioural support did home visit.

Behavioural support refused as they only offer Triple P and I already done that.

Senco and class teacher said that DS behaviour whilst walking to school is to do with home.

Behavioural support said no, trigger is clearly school related.

Teacher and Senco repeat that they have no issues with DS he is fine in school with plenty of friends (not that they would name any, last name have DS a meltdown)

Dh and I said that we agree that DS struggles socially outside school and shows a lot of anxiety on the school run.

Senco agreed to ask Ed Psy to assess DS for social assessment/classes which will be Oct in the earliest.

DH and I asked again for support getting DS to school and they came upwith another star chart.....well, I am willing to try it cheerfully and positively but doubt itwill make much of a difference in the mornings.

So where to now....

Have SALT and Comm Paed appointments in September

Should have Ed Psych appointment in October

......guess I wait a while, get though the holidays and hope DS forgets that he hates school by September !

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PolterGoose · 15/07/2014 20:13

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Babieseverywhere · 15/07/2014 20:17

Sounds like excellent advice, which I will take :)

Try to chill out, enjoy the lack of school over summer and try and get DS out of the house at some point.

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PolterGoose · 15/07/2014 20:26

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Babieseverywhere · 15/07/2014 20:33

:)

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hattytheherald · 16/07/2014 06:41

I agree with PolterGoose. Take the summer to regroup. It will allow you and DS (hopefully) the time to destress.

And the behaviour support lady agreed that school was the stress for ds. That's a starting point for you!!

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Babieseverywhere · 16/07/2014 07:32

Thank you Harry :)

Wish me luck. ...We have a new star chart for walking to school.

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Babieseverywhere · 16/07/2014 07:33

Hatty not harry.

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PolterGoose · 16/07/2014 07:49

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StarlightMcKenzie · 16/07/2014 09:26

Bet you don't have EP appointment in October - just saying.

Get the statement application in. It might go nowhere but you have nothing to lose. If they refuse you have the right to resubmit the very next day.

The thing about the request for statutory assessment is that it gets you on the LA SEN Team radar and the EP hears about you for certain.

Have you anything in writing from Behavioural Team that say issues are school related? Because if you do, and the school are denying this, you have your evidence right there that the school need resources they don't already have, in the form of training and knowledge, which is the criteria for assessment.

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StarlightMcKenzie · 16/07/2014 09:28

Babies, all this messing around is not progress. It is parent-occupying strategies so they don't actually have to do any hard work for your child.

Parent complaining that school failing son, offer parent a meeting, and then another, and then another, and keep them on a never ending merrygoround until they get sick.

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Babieseverywhere · 16/07/2014 16:20

Starlight, are you listening in to my phone conversations, lol

I was talking this afternoon to my best friend and I was wondering if the Ed Psy would really be called out next year or if it was just a suggestion to fob me off. especially as we will have 8 new pupils with severe asd needs at our school in September and understandably they will have to take priority for Ed Psych slots

I was also talking about that statement assessment form and wondering whether to go for it or not. I would have to get it in by 31st August or miss the deadline.

I have nothing in writing from behavioural support. I will have to chase that up.

But I am still wobbling. ...my DS has social communication difficulties (salt report pending), fear of loud noises (audiologist consultant) and is resistant and anxious about attending school (me) is that enough to ask for assessment on, as the school are still sure he is 100% NT with no issues at school.

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StarlightMcKenzie · 16/07/2014 16:37

It doesn't matter whether it is enough to convince them, the question I would ask (And I MEAN this) is whether it is enough to convince YOU?

Because if it is, use your integrity and apply, for your child.

The system is crap, and teachers, schools, even LAs are ignorant of so many aspects of SEN, including the law. There isn't an easy or right way to get through the first hedge of nettles except to get on with it.

Parents of children with severe disabilities usually face the same hedge as you. They get told the same as you. 'We're intending to do this', 'hold on until we have evidence', 'you won't get x', 'we're doing everything', 'you just have to trust us', 'we're going to get the EP in for your child', etc.

There is absolutely no way of knowing the reality until you have a go at tackling that hedge.

One thing you achieve though is the delivery of a clear message to the professionals that you consider your child's education YOUR responsibility, that you consider YOURSELF as his advocate, that you are currently extremely dissatisfied with the service provided and so are availing yourself of the only tools you are currently aware of to secure his education and increase his chances of becoming an independent and mentally stable adult.

Don't EVER give up YOUR duty in this. Until you are absolutely satisfied that your child is being given what he deserves and is entitled to, in line with other children WITHOUT the difficulties he displays (as to accept less makes you complicit in discrimination), you must keep asking question, advocating and slaying the nay-sayers.

The great thing about this is it is empowering and whatever happens you'll have documentary evidence that your child can one day access that shows you never gave up on him and you never left his life chances at the mercy of others.

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Babieseverywhere · 16/07/2014 20:06

I am so unsure of myself.I worry about blowing the non-existant issues out of proportion of making things harder for DS.

On the other hand, doing nothing is not going to make things better.

I am hoping that the summer break will help DS forget that he hates school. ...but I worry he will be the same or worse in year two.

Wish I could get some feedback from the Comm Paed before I had to make a decision on this statement but I can't as that appointment is after the deadline.

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Babieseverywhere · 16/07/2014 20:07

If it was a clear cut situation, it would be much easier to go forward confidently.

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StarlightMcKenzie · 16/07/2014 20:09

Why isn't it clear cut?

Is you child struggling?
Are you an experienced and able parent?
Have you accessed available univers provision and found it lacking?

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Babieseverywhere · 16/07/2014 20:28

It is not clear cut because....

I have been told that all his behaviour in school is NT.

I am told he has friends and no problem with social interactions in school.

I an told that the school has many boys who don't like school and act out on the way in to school, it is expected behaviour from some kids and it just has to be waited out.

I struggle how the child I see who hides under tables or shouts to communicate to a child he us stood next to, can be the same child the school see.

It just doesn't make sense, someone has to be mistaken.

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AgnesDiPesto · 16/07/2014 20:39

I think even if you submit SA that in itself opens doors / makes school have to keep records / collect evidence. If you appeal a refusal that opens more doors because the burden of proof shifts from you proving there is a problem and are unmet needs, to the LA having to prove the opposite. To do that convincingly they have to find out more about him and have to collect evidence. They need witnesses, that means people have to go and see him. Even if his needs are purely social and anxiety they are still needs for which provision must be made. The test for statutory assessment isn't is your child a certain severity it's is your child having all their needs met by the provision normally available in a school. If what's needed is so specialist a school can't provide it then levels of cost / severity etc don't come into it. Demands at school are only going to get higher, if he's not coping now it's not likely to improve on it's own. If you apply now and appeal it will be about 8 months before an appeal would be heard. Having the appeal pending will make sure the appointments in sept / oct do happen. That's worth it in itself. It's also reassuring to you to know if things go downhill in Oct you are 3 months into the process, not starting at day 1.

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Babieseverywhere · 16/07/2014 21:20

"Demands at school are only going to get higher, if he's not coping now it's not likely to improve on it's own."
School thinks he will be better next year.
I am not convinced, as when he travelled between nursery and reception and then reception to year one , things got more anxious each year. DS is already saying he is staying in year one as the work is too hard in year two.

"It's also reassuring to you to know if things go downhill in Oct you are 3 months into the process, not starting at day 1."
Yes, this would help me feel more relaxed going back to school in September. Knowing IF things gets worse, I have a plan in action.

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Babieseverywhere · 17/07/2014 09:44

After earning zero minutes yesterday. I tried to help him earn a star this morning but due to behaviour I could only (being very lenient) give him one star the one minute one. As I gave it too him. He shouted ons minute. Wait a minute us this instead of my everyday treat my five minute treat. Now I only get one minute.

Luckily my friend was passing and says how great his sticker was and raced him to the playground.

He says he is not walking tomorrow and ripping up all the stupid stickers. That concludes day two of new sticker chart.

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Babieseverywhere · 17/07/2014 09:47

After earning zero minutes yesterday. I tried to help him earn a star this morning but due to behaviour I could only (being very lenient) give him one star, the one minute one. As I gave it too him. He shouted , One minute. Wait, is this instead of my everyday treat, my five minute treat. Now I only get one minute. Cue frozen very upset child.

Luckily my friend was passing and says how great his sticker was and raced him to the playground.

He says he is not walking tomorrow and ripping up all the stupid stickers. That concludes day two of using the new sticker chart.

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