Just had a crap morning topped by bawling my eyes out!!!

[eidsvold]

Went to the gym for hte first time in ages. Was going of a night time so dh can care for the girls and then on a Thursday morning when I only have dd2. But dd2 has been very clingy and upset about being left so I thought - I will go today and perhaps having dd1 would help her settle.

Well we did have some tears but she seemed to settle down. I managed to get about 1/2 through my workout when I moved to the weights area to see the carer looking very worried and no dd1 in sight. She calls through the windows to me that Dd1 has 'run off' and they can't find her.

Picture a very busy industrial estate - a park area behind with public walkway. Lots of industrial units, cars etc..... I am madly looking and calling for her - whislt the carer is staying with the other children - one of the trainers ended up helping me look.

I am getting slightly hysterical thinking she has taken off down the road ( out of hte carpark and I will need to start searching the other businesses in the area or the park area ( small stream through it!!)

Dd1 appears from the other side of the building with a grazed arm and leg and hysterical. I managed to get her calmed down only to have dd2 go off and start.

Abandon workout - feeling like I missed out - which I did - very rarely get an hour to myself and since I started the gym have been enoying this time to me.

COme home in tears thinking I can't ever go back when I have the two as it is not safe - most of the week due to other committments.

THe topper is dd1 just loses the plot when I put her in the car - screaming, slapping, and being hysterical again......Having to hold her tight whilst keeping an eye on dd2 who is not yet in the car ( thank goodness she just climbed in the drivers seat and sat there). She could not tell me if she was hurt - in terms of her grazes or what was upsetting her........ she just lost it.

I am further annoyed at this little girl who has never ever been nice to dd1 anytime she has been there - she tells on dd1 - silly petty stuff, won't share the toys with dd1 and is generally not a very nice little girl..........

Well this little girl is away from the car but once dd1 goes off on her hysteria - this little girl just keeps creeping closer and closer to the car all the while just staring at dd1 which upsets her further - and I am thinking just piss off back to your parent and let me calm my child down!!!!

So cue driving home bawling like a mad woman. I managed to make it home without crashing the car ( not far) and then collapse on my bed just crying - possibly pregnant hormones, relief at dd1 being safe as such, anger at the lack of care, and thinking am I ever going to be able to have an hour to me three times a week to go to the gym ( that is all I want)

Sorry long and very self indulgent - know so many of you have it so much harder than I do but (stamps foot in tantrum ) it's not fair.....

Nice aside - dd1 came in whilst I was bawling on my bed and patted my leg checking I was okay and then brought me a tissue for my nose. ( bless!)

Am considering writing to the management of the gym and asking for a fence with child safety gates to be put in - would help the carer too......

[Sandcastles]

hi, eidsvold. I felt like bursting into tears all the time yesturday (and I'm not even pg). Things just get on top of you and seem far worse than they are when your hormonal, don't they?

have a good rest, cup of tea/choccie biscuit. Relax a while. Your dd1 sounds lovely, that's what my dd would do. Then they go off merrily playing as if nothing is/ever happened!

How are you feeling now?

[eidsvold]

even more frustrated - in thinking over it - was made to feel by one staff member like it was my fault. Have spoken to dh and his response is that I just can't go during the day - but at the moment by the afternoon I am so knackered that the thought of putting on gym gear and doing an hours workout is beyond me. IT also means at the end of the year I face 6 weeks with no real activity where I can have a break.....

don't worry about me - just feeling sorry for myself.

[Sandcastles]

But you should be able to go there, isn't that why they employ somebody to look after children while mums & dads go there? If she isn't upto her job she shouldn't be doing it. You have every right to feel sorry for yourself.

Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you....I have just recently moved here, so I am emotional because of that, not quite same thing, but I am feeling sorry for myself too! If I lived closer you could bring them both to me...

[eidsvold]

i'll wait to hear the outcome of my fence proposal.... may even make a time to see the manager.

[aaronsmummy]

Eids, you are so justified in feeling the way you do. With more than 1 child you are grateful to even get to the toilet when you need to go,or have a hot drink lol. Of course you need time for you. threaten that you will go to the local newpaper as they are offering an inadequate service. They will sort out that fence pronto.

[MrsFio]

How frightening for you eidsvold your poor dd1!!!!

i would be so cross with the carers, it so not your fault

[Blu]

Bloody hell Eidsvold - no wonder you were in tears...the fright, the upset, the 'hemmed-in' result.

I do hope you and dh can have another think when the fog has cleared- it isn't self indulgent AT ALL to want those 3 hours - and think the fence sounds like a necessity. Gather your energy when you've had a chance for a breather and then pile on the pressure?

[eidsvold]

the irony - the organisation that started the gym provides assistance for people with special needs in the community - part of the gym membership ( haven't paid this year - raffle prize but will in future) goes towards funding their work!!!

[fireflyfairy2]

How did she escape? I'd have been frantic! What age is she?

And of course, if it is a nursery where they are used to taking care of children then of course you can go there, it is meant to be that can go there and they look after your children, isn't that the whole point? I'd be furious that they couldn't have keot a better eye in you dd.

[eidsvold]

unfortunately the outside play area is not fenced or anything and I think she took off up the side of the multipurpose courts..... she did come back as I was running around like a mad woman calling her.....

[coppertop]

I don't blame you for being upset! You left your children with someone who was supposed to be looking after them and keeping them safe. You shouldn't have had to spend your gym session out looking for a missing dd.

My ds1 went missing for a short while during the holidays (probably only about 10 minutes but it felt like a lifetime) so I can understand all the possible scenarios you probably had running through your head while looking for dd1.

It doesn't matter whether anyone else has a harder time. What matters is that you need the break and time away from it all. Good luck with the fence request. xxx

[SoupDragon]

Of course there should be a fence/child safe gates! You're right to be upset, angry and everything else.

[Davros]

What an unbelievable story, I am not at all surprised that you were/are upset. Its not good enough, being there to look after children and not being able to provide the appropriate personnel or setting. Unfortunately I think the only thing you can do is write a clear and complete letter - another job you could probably do without

[Thomcat]

ohhhh sweet. What a nightmare

Not only was it awful that you thoguht you'd lost your child and were then made to feel at fault, which you so aren't. But you're homonalk, just wanted a bit of time to yourself and your DD couldn't tell you what happened, where it hurt etc. Then add that you were being starred at by a little girl, that would have irritated me too, while you deal with a stressful tantrum. Ohhhh God, enought to amke anyone have a cry really.

Hope you get somewhere with the fence idea.
Big hugs to you, like I said last night, wish you were round the corner and I could pop over for a joint rant and cup of tea.

TC xxxxxxxxx

[coppertop]

TC - I read that as "pop over for a joint and a cup of tea".

Yes, the annoying child watching would have been the last straw for me.

[Thomcat]

LOL Coppertop. Right now that might be a good idea!

Edisvold - the not being able to tell you what happened, how she felt, where it hurt really struck a cord with me, in fact everything did.

[eidsvold]

thanks everyone - was so exhausted just crashed in bed last night and left dh to do it all - get girls fed, bathed and ready for bed before he went out. Had booked dd2 in to the childcare for me to go Thurs morning whilst dd1 is in kindy but am a little nervous about it even though I know dd2 will not venture off. Think I will stick to night time ( if I can drag myself out) and weekend mornings when dh can look after the girls.

Dd1 off to sn kindy this morning and dd2 and I are going shopping - think I will buy myself a maternity shirt/trousers... can't fit into any of my jeans etc - my waist has disappeared already - can't wait til I am 12 weeks and I can start telling people and bust out the maternity clothes properly........

[merlot]

Not been on here for a long time...but just wanted to say...Sorry you had such a crap day and hope you are feeling better now. Sometimes thing just snowball dont they

And...Congratulations! Obviously Mr Stork is on its way to your house again

And by the way...sympathize entirely with having to deal with dd1 when she is hurt and cant express herself. Same thing happens with my ds2..he gets worked up..tears flooding down his face and all I get when I try to comfort him is one big wallop in the face!