Dealing with an ASD diagnosis, 17 years down the line

[anchovies]

Just wondering if anyone can point me in the direction of resources/counselling or whatever to help somebody who is having a difficult time with dealing with what the future holds for an autistic child?

My brother is now 20 and has aspergers. My mum has never had a problem with accepting who he is and what his future holds but all of a sudden it seems to have hit her hard. He is currently in the process of finishing 4 years at a resedential college and as yet (despite 2 years of planning with social services) will be effectively homeless in 3 weeks when he finishes. He will of course be coming home to my parents however there is no housing in sight and obv unlikely to find one once he is back at home. This wouldn't normally be too much of a problem as like most parents of children with similar circumstances she is used to fighting every decision that is made(!) but she is really struggling. She is very upset (not like her at all) and struggling with how unfair it all is, she just wants him to be normal etc etc.

So need to help her basically, anyone got any ideas? I have tried the nas helpline but not been able to speak to an advisor all day.

[Scumster]

Oh poor her, anchovies. This is often a very difficult time for parents, ime. It must be so very hard watching your baby reach adulthood when you have at some level probably spent their whole life worried about what that adulthood will be like for them. I'm afraid as well that there is notoriously little support out there for adults with Aspergers. Will social services stay involved? People with aspergers often don't meet eligibility criteria for adult social services learning disabilities teams so if he has been accepted that is one good thing. But there is a real lack of specialist support out there, unfortunately. Where does your mum live? Sometimes there are transition workers attached to local voluntary sector organisations who can be helpful. Does your brother know what he wants to do next? Job? More studying?

Do you think some counselling would help your mum or is she not into that sort of thing?

[WellKnownMemorablePeachyClair]

Scumster is right, there is notoriously little help outtb here and Social Services said we didn't fit their criteris. I would however call the NAS- they seem to be the experts in all things Autism. They have both telephone and e-mail helplines,a nd should be able to point you in the right direction, bioth for your brothr and counselling / support for your Mum. They also have a 24 hours parental supprt line your Mum could call, 0800 9 520 520, where I think you leave your details and another parent of an autistic childc alls you to give support. Their website is here and they do offerquite a lot of help.

[anchovies]

Thanks for your messages. I am hoping that if I ever get through to an advisor on the NAS helpline they will give me the details of a counsellor in our area. She hasn't been into that sort of thing before but I think even she'll admit that something has got to give!

He does meet the criteria for critical need which itself is fantastic as we never met the criteria in child services. Unfortunately the situation in our area is dreadful - 76 adults with learning disabilities currently on the critical list for supported housing but only 7 current vacancies, none of which are suitable for my brother. He has been offered a place in a autism specific supported flat in Sunderland (where he went to college) but as usual it is too expensive and they would much prefer to "meet his needs" in our local authority. Their idea of meeting his needs and ours though are clearly two very different things! If he doesn't get the place in sunderland (which considering they won't even take it to the panel seems pretty unlikely) it looks like more college. No support for jobs here, current waiting list is 2 years long. Wow it has been quite therapeutic just writing this all down!