My son is 10 and has autism (HFA/Aspergers). He is good at singing, and recently joined a choir. There are about 25 in the choir, mostly older than him and girls, but three boys of his age.
I went along and watched the first week, and he was obviously put with these three boys because they were his age group. One of these boys in particular was messing around quite a bit, dropping his drink on the floor, and being low level disruptive.
Anyway, DS has been along a couple of times more, and today apparently he shouted at the choir leader.
As I understand it this one boy was being more disruptive than usual, which my son doesn't like (at school there are a couple of naughty boys, and he has got loudly angry with them being annoying, because my son really does not like people being annoying, especially when he is supposed to be working. School makes sure he doesn't sit with these few troublesome elements.), which was annoying him, and so the choir leader told the group of four boys to stop, and then a little later again.
My son said he was getting enraged by the second time they were told off, because he wasn't doing anything (this I am sure is true, but because they are four boys among a group of teenagers and a few girls, they are seen as one unit). The third time they were told off, he was very angry and shouted at the choir leader saying that he wasn't even doing anything.
This didn't go down very well, and the choir leader apparently called his wife to come, which she did. At the end when DS was picked up, it was explained that DS has Aspergers and the choir leader's wife seemed sympathetic, but the leader himself said 'I am not a teacher', which is true, it's a voluntary activity, and maybe it would be better if he didnt come.
Just wondering WWYD.
DS doesn't really respond very well to being told off anyway, though he is well behaved and diligent obviously without people winding him up. I hadn't heard that he had ever got angry to a teacher at school (but maybe they understand him bette) though he does to us, quite frequently.
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DS, autism, confrontation with choir leader
PatPig · 24/04/2013 23:19
I would ring the choir person or email and apologise for not giving him all the info he needed about your son but that he had never had a problem before.
I have to say I think the because school have put some strategies into place to help your Ds it is even more important for other people to be able to do the same, otherwise your Ds is out on a limb and isnt going to cope.
Sorry if this seems harsh and it is a real shame if your Ds cant go back. Maybe after you have spoken to the choir leader he might reconsider.
Good luck 
Exactly what GoblinGranny said.
If you didn't let the leader know, then how was he supposed to know to react in any way other than that which he did ? 
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Maybe if you go and apologise, he might be willing to start again, but people are not generally mind readers. IME the vast majority of people are more than willing to try to accomodate children with additional needs, but you need to talk to them in the first place about it, or how are they to know ?
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