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Is my dd sn?

(6 Posts)
LuvMyBoyz Mon 25-Mar-13 23:37:04

Thanks for the advice, Poltergoose, I have bought the book you recommended.

foxrivereight Mon 25-Mar-13 19:35:26

Thank you so much I cannot express enough how helpful your posts have been .

I feel the same about the outbursts too that she is not in control and I feel bad about punishing her . I punished her last week about it but I didn't have the heart to do it tonight . She doesnt see violence anywhere and knows I do not tolerate it so that makes me think she can't control it .

I don't think she has AS/ASD (know a fair bit about ASD) but I think she may have some sort of anxiety disorder .

If someone described her to me I would swear she had depression that's exactly what she reminds me of .

PolterGooseLaidAChocolateEgg Mon 25-Mar-13 19:28:26

On a more immediate note. My ds is most violent when he is anxious. Therefore reducing anxiety is key. His violence tends to be reactive (eg someone brushes last him he feels as a punch) and most of his lashings out are instinctive fight/flight reactions. Because I truly believe he is not in control I do not punish, school will have their own sanctions but there are no repercussions at home. Because it feels cruel to punish him for something he is not in control of (and usually results from poor classroom/playground management) School have to be pro-active in recognising and averting potentially difficult situations. For ds this means having the option to stay in at playtimes if he is stressy, being sent to cloakroom alone to avoid confined space jostling etc

Really important to try to find what led to the incident, but that may take creative questioning and you may not get to the bottom of it until anxiety has reduced.

PolterGooseLaidAChocolateEgg Mon 25-Mar-13 19:21:21

Hi foxriver and welcome (glad you found us) thanks

From what I remember from your thread there are enough 'flags' for you to ask your GP for a referral to a developmental paediatrician, who can assess for a whole range of developmental disorders. It is up to you, but you might find it helpful to have a little read about Autism Spectrum, ADHD, Sensory Processing, Pathological Demand Avoidance for a start to see if you recognise dd in any of the descriptions, it may also help you start to understand some of her behaviours. And it gives you the right language to use when you are asking for assessments. You may also pick up some tips as you read around.

My ds has been very violent at school, his is very much related to him having Aspergers and struggling with social situations/communication coupled with a big dose of sensory defensiveness as a result of Sensory Processing Disorder. The most useful intervention for this for us has been from the Occupational Therapists and your GP or school nurse should be able to refer you direct. OT is very practical and great for day to day stuff.

I highly recommned you read The Explosive Child, anyone parenting an anxious angry child should read it. If you want to do something yourself to help dd manage her temper have a look at Huebner's 'What to do when your temper flares' It is a workbook which takes you through a short programme of CBT to address temper (others in the series on worries, sleep, OCD, grumbling)

Have a look through the last few pages of threads, there have been a few about anger and anxiety, see if anything stands out for you.

Keep asking questions, many of us are living this too, you are not alone smile

foxrivereight Mon 25-Mar-13 19:03:15
foxrivereight Mon 25-Mar-13 18:59:12

I started a thread in chat about my concerns for my 8yo dd . I won't go through everything again but she is basically an emotional and nervous wreck . She cries all the time , her moods are very changeable and she is so negative about things .
She has begun to realise she is different she has told me she doesn't feel Normal and asked me if there are people who can help
This past fortnight she had been violent to two different classmates

Her head teacher has advised a referral to the educational psychologist and her gp has agrees that is the best root to take .

I dont know what to do now . I can't condone the violence but I know she can't help it sad

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