I'm not sure if I should be posting here, but I have had some advice on the Step-parenting board after venting my frustration and the responses I have had have led me here.
My DSS (age 9) doesn't seem to be developing in line with his peers and some of his behaviour is having a significant impact on the whole family. It has been suggested on my other thread that DSS would benefit from being assessed for Aspergers. (full explanation here)
My DP's solution is to accommodate all DSS "needs" no matter how inconvenient, while at the same time, he doesn't seem motivated to seek support or additional help - he just seems to accept that "that is the way that DSS is" and will continue to go out of his way to accomodate DSS.
I have two questions.
The first is, if DSS's obsessive, and rigid behaviour is the result of a special need, will it do him any harm in the long term to accommodate all his "needs" at home whatever the impact on others? I worry that it will make it harder for him to deal with real life as he gets older because not everyone will accommodate his "needs" like we do.
My second question is whether, if DSS does have a special need, will it eventually be picked up by professionals in his life? Are special needs always picked up outside the home eventually? Although both his parents accommodate DSS unique behaviour (often at the expense of themselves and other family members) they don't seem motivated to seek professional support. They seem to have decided that it's nothing to worry about or in any way of concern, and that it will resolve itself in time.
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.
SN children
Will SN eventually be picked up?
DetachedandDepressed · 25/02/2013 11:13
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