Struggling with dds behaviour and her teacher (the ANL is fab tho!)

[Dinkysmummy]

I apologise in advance for the length of this post... I don't have anyone I can really talk to about it.

So dd (aged 5 in two weeks!) is not diagnosed with anything despite the best efforts of everyone I meet to try and do it for the professionals we are waiting to see! (which in itself is very frustrating)

My main problem is dinky at home and at school.
Dinky started school in September and I told them we have had a big upheaval in the fact we are technically homeless, living in a hostel and her behaviour has been worse, and we have had the health visitors out and they want to wait and see how she goes. After the first 6 weeks I did get told of a few incidents regarding dinky. (hiding under tables and once she hit a kid with a truck). I had parents evening and wasn't told much about any other behaviour except she doesn't listen, doesn't sit still, can be overly disruptive and becomes very concerned when children are not in. After she hit the kid with the truck I went to the doc and they referred to CAMHS as I had other concerns at home. The deputy (also the ANL) got dinky into play therapy in November.
The teacher still said next to nothing about dinky just the odd bit here and there about having a hard day.

January everything changed.
I was called in by the deputy who said dinky was being put on the SEN register at school action plus as they wanted to do a CAF form because they feel the referral to CAMHS isn't comming fast enough.
I heard from the play therapist who said that the teacher was really struggling with dinkys behaviour, yet I hadn't been told this.

At home...
She doesn't stop. Form 5 am to 7 pm(or later) she is on the go. I have had to draw pictures of the routine with the time to make it easier for her to follow as she was always asking when is it breakfast, when is lunch and it was always a fight to get her to realise that even though she said she wasn't tired it was bedtime. I only take her out to go to school as she runs off and hides or melts down. When she really has had enough she turns into the hulk, she either hits me or starts hitting everything around her. I have lost count of the ammount of times I have had to physically restrain her in public.

At school.... I'll give a run down of the last week
Monday..
I was called after dinky said she wanted to escape and was found climbing the school fence during lunch.
Tuesday
The teacher said something to dinky when she was already agitated and dinky ran, it took myself the ANL and two other members of staff to calm her down.
Wednesday
She pushed another kid over
Thursday
Not much I don't think
Friday...
Well, the morning started with a fight with her only real friend, the teacher just stood there. I had to remove dinky from the class and the ANL was called aswell as the school welfare officer to calm her down.
During the day she had to be restrained and I got a phone call from the ANL saying dinky hadn't moved her arm for two hours, as I went to get her I got another call to say she was fine.
After school she refused to hold my hand, ran off, then got herself stuck in the picnic table so the welfare officer and a TA had to help me wiggle her out, then she ran off again and the ANL was called... Again.

The ANL is lovely and has been really good to us. She assured me after seeing me with dinky it is not a lack of parenting skills, and is the only other person apart from me who can calm dinky down.

January came as such a shock to me, especially the fact that i had no idea how much the teacher struggled with dinkys behaviour, i thought it was mostly at home. I asked for a contact book, on the advice of another mum who has a son who has been diagnosed as high functioning autism... The teacher agreed to it (as long as it was manageable). It has been going for a week and honestly there is nothing in it that helps me understand what goes on at school.
Thursday the entry is 'bit tricky'. That's it. What does that even mean?
The others are along the same lines
'up and down today' x3
'good effort in the afternoon'

I just don't know what to do...

The CAF planning meeting is on the 12th feb so at least things are moving forward... But I'm struggling at the moment.

[lorisparkle]

Have the school contacted anyone for support - for example the advisory teacher service, communication and interaction team.

Also could you go back to gp for referral to a peadiatrician?

I would keep looking for more support and guidance as it sounds like you are doing so much.

[Dinkysmummy]

Thanks for replying

I don't think the school have contacted anyone apart from doing the CAF form. Integrated services got in touch within 20 minutes of it being completed to ask about the circumstances in which we became homeless but that is it for now. Just got to wait until the 12th feb, but even then it is a planning meeting which I can't attend because the school have done like 6 CAF forms and all 6 children and families will be discussed, and it will only be about what each service can offer and not actual progress as such.

As far as I am aware (and i could be wrong) CAMHS can diagnose a range of conditions.
Would I need to get dinky to see a paediatrician aswell?

I'm trying to do what I can but I am new to all of this and don't know what is best...

[Dinkysmummy]

Thanks zzzzz

The CT made the book... It is an A5 booklet laid out like this

Date
Number of minutes achieved today
Comments

The thing is there are three per A5 side, and she has only left herself 3cm (I'm that annoyed I measured it with a ruler! ) for the comments section.
I have always felt like I'm hitting a brick wall with the CT. The ANL/senco is great with dinky and lovely to talk to but I just wish that would be the case with the CT (who has admitted not having a bond or feeling as if there is no connection with dinky.)

I might have to take the book into the ANL who is also the deputy head, and see what she says...