Sorry, information sharing again, being made to look like a control freak

[Iceflower]

After being previously completely disregarded by professionals sharing information and unminuted meetings, all without my knowledge, I have requested that nobody shares information, or have access to dc without my permission.

All I'm asking is that as the parent, I'm involved in decisions about my dc, and yet I'm being made to appear like a control freak. Professionals are corresponding with each other saying, "Iceflower has requested that no information be shared without her consent".

AIBU here? I can see how this is going to made to look if I need to go through another SEND hearing

[inappropriatelyemployed]

You are not being unreasonable at all. You should be involved as a matter of good practice.

However, be warned, even when LA's ignore this the ICO's stance has been to say it is reasonable to allow data sharing in these cases and that consent is only one of the grounds on which it can take place. The ICO argue LAs don't need our consent.

I would take this on with a judicial review but I would spend my life JR'ing my crap LA and their oversight bodies.

[bochead]

You have no choice as the alternative is that your child is failed, sooner or later.

I've done the same. One too many reports sent to all and sundry with not even my son's name spelt correctly, never mind the gross inaccuracies as to our family circumstances etc. Inaccurate info in general circulation can lead to all sorts of tangled webs of confusion and issues. Busy professionals shouldn't be left wasting time chasing rainbows and tangents over easily corrected errors.

All the caring carrot literature talks about working in partnership with parents - look wide eyed & stupid as you gently point to the black and white in their own service leaflets etc.

I'm firm but friendly about it. Noone wants to be a PITA constantly up the teachers and other profs' a&*%s chasing, but sometimes it has to be done.

If my speaking up helps keep them on target and focussed then when DS makes progress they can share that warm glowy feeling that comes with a sense of achievement all too rare in the SN world. Positive results over time does help soften their prickly defenses, so the good ones don't stay offended with you forever

"Trust, but verify" - I think was how Reagan put it.

It's not a popularity contest - it's your child's life chances on the line.

[Iceflower]

Thanks, IE and bochead. I think I knew I wasn't BU, but I'm being made to feel like that.

I'm even feeling guilty about commissioning private reports as at pathfinder meetings, I've heard professionals complaining about feeling like their professionalism is being questioned .

I think I would rather spend all that £££ on something else if they'd only make recommendations in their reports!

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Professionals need to EARN their credibility and reputation ffs.

If they get defensive it is only their own insecurity that causes it.