Seriously, I just do not understand why pointing or the lack of it is SO serious. Our evil speech therapist made us an oso helpful list of stuff that was ?wrong? with DD (aside from the thing we asked help for, that she doesn?t talk much at 3.3 ):
She doesn?t answer her name
She doesn?t make eye contact
She doesn?t play with other children
She isn?t pleased to see us (her parents)
She doesn?t imitate us
She doesn?t play imaginatively
She won?t focus on activities
She isn?t potty trained
She has stroppy tantrums when thwarted by her brother (honestly, which toddler doesn?t?)
She can read
She likes numbers
She likes music
She likes computers
She will watch videos over and over again (this is actually my fault, because I record phrases for her for fun on the iPad, and she watches them over and over again until she can say them. DD saying ?now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this son of York? is about the cutest thing ever)
We either disproved these ?problems? (first seven on the list), or explained to the Ed Psych why we don?t think they?re a problem particularly (I mean, if she was talking normally, who would be ?concerned? because she could read ? they?d be telling us we were wonder parents) and so the educational psychologist with a triumphant air said ?yes, but you say she doesn?t point!? as though it were a necessary and sufficient condition of an ASD diagnosis. She doesn?t point, she never has. She points at words and letters as she is reading them, and points at objects in books when she is naming them, but she doesn?t point at things that are far away. This is something I was going to bring up with the opthamologist at her next appointment, as I am blind as a bat and poor DD may well have inherited my childhood myopia, but it is not something that concerns me about her behaviour.
I really really resent the way that DD?s teacher, evil speechie (not the nice new ones, they?re lovely) and the Ed Psych are trying to make me concerned about my child. She?s not typical no, but we don?t all have to have cookie cutter children surely? She can be different from the norm without having to have some kind of pervasive developmental disorder? And how is an ASD diagnosis, if we managed to get one which I seriously doubt, going to assist DD at all? If she could talk and was potty trained, I would have absolutely NO concerns about her. NONE. And the potty training is more annoying than really worrying.
Her new speech therapists think she has tons of receptive language, and that she?s picking things up incredibly quickly - she?s had two sessions of PECS and is now going to her book, picking out what she wants, getting my attention and giving me the symbol while saying the word and making eye contact, and is using effectively about 100 symbols including action symbols. Just working on getting her to say ?I want?. She has also started making and using three part sentences, adapting rote phrases to make new phrases, creating an external narrative when watching TV (Oh no ? train running away!) and when playing imaginatively and lots of other brilliant language development, not to mention social development of the kind they like (I couldn?t give two hoots if she plays with other children, she plays with her brother and that?s all I need from a three year old, but she has started playing more with her classmates). So why on earth, given this wonderful progress she?s made, is the fact that she doesn?t point to distant objects the be all and end all of the Ed Psych?s gloomy prognosis for her? I don?t want to get to the point where I?m teaching her to do stuff simply to get the educational psychologist off my back. I probably could teach her (like a trained monkey) to point at distant things, but I honestly do not see why it?s such a big deal? Am I missing something?
BTW, someone told me to get ?When Babies Read? on another thread, AWESOME book, thanks for the recommendation!!
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Pointing - what's the big deal?
39 replies
MummytoMog · 19/11/2012 10:44
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