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5 year old autism agression - help please

6 replies

allie1972 · 03/11/2005 11:09

Hi there,

My son has recently been seen by the ed. psych and she has said that he is showing some autistic tendencies. I had prepared myself for adhd but the psych and the school seem to agree on him being on the autistic side and that this is what is causing his figety outbursts and failure to focus when in group situations. He finds dinner time at school very hard as he says no-one wants to sit with him. He finds noise in assembly hard to deal with and gets told off for being disruptive. One on one he can focus and is quite bright, but it seems to be the social side of things at school that are hard for him.

They are reluctant to intervene as they say he might improve with the help of an IEP. However, he has really low self esteem, is becoming increasingly aggressive at school and becomes very upset about lots of very very minor things.

I am at a loss as to where to turn for help. I can't bear to just "wait and see" as they suggest and he is clearly becoming more of a problem at school. He has few friends and is becoming conscious of this and this is making him more aggressive as he lashes out at children who taunt him. All a vicious circle.

What can I do now? Can I demand a paediatric consultation and what will this entail? Are there any natural supplements that he can take (he already has fish oils and multivits).

Am at end of my tether. To make it worse I am finding it very hard to control his behaviour and I end up shouting at him which just makes him worse. New baby due on Monday and I am so so worried about how I am going to cope.

Allie.

OP posts:
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coppertop · 03/11/2005 11:20

It sounds as though your ds needs to see a Developmental Paed. Do you have a Child Development Centre/Unit in your area?

The school sounds useless IMHO. "Let's do nothing because he might improve with an IEP" .

Assessments seem to vary from place to place. Here children are assessed by a Paed, SALT, Physio, Child Psychologist and Occupational Therapist and then a diagnosis is made if it's felt that there is a problem.

My ds1 is 5 and autistic. IME there is often a lot that the school can do to help reduce a child's stress and anxiety. Often the solution can be something very simple but not all schools seem to want to try.

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MeerkatsUnite · 03/11/2005 12:30

Would certainly agree with coppertop's suggestion re seeing a developmental paediatrician. You need a firm diagnosis then you can go to the LEA with it and say that you want a Statement for your son re his educational needs.

This school sounds blooming hopeless to me as well. Your son needs and deserves a Statement of Special Needs (not just an IEP - this will not fully address the problems) and school should be supporting you to this end. Unfortunately not all school are inclined to help to this end.

Have a look at IPSEA's website - its www.ipsea.org.uk and they can advise re school etc.

I am sorry that you have so much on your plate - it must feel completely overwhelming.

I would like to wish you all the best regarding the birth of your baby due next week.

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lynny70 · 03/11/2005 12:51

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PeachyClair · 03/11/2005 17:01

Hi

Your story struck sympathies with me as it where we were with Sam ayear or so ago, he ahs since been diagnosed with Aspergers. A change of school was incidental but helped also, and we have just visited BIBIC which hel;ped us a lot, and has given us lots of clues.

There are, I believe, two aspects to Sam's aggression: frustration and exhaustion (he sleeps very poorly). We have just introduced melatonin, which seems to be hlping somewhat.

Sam just saw a dev paed who said 'yes he has Aspergers, no I can't do anything about it. If you parent him well he might be OK, if not he won't get to leave home or have a life. I'll discharge you now'.

!!!

The NAS helped us a lot though and we are gradually getting somewhere.

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SoBlue · 04/11/2005 22:14

It sounds like the school aren't listening to you, you have identified the problems here. And you know him best. A small start would be removing or limiting his time in assembly that could make a big difference to how his day goes.

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weebernie · 05/11/2005 22:40

I would say that your little boy needs to be seen by a developmental paediatrician too.
Stress is the last thing any of you need right now and goodness knows you will be stressing enough about the arrival of your new baby.
Make a phonecall and be firm about what you want and what your son needs. You are his voice just now. If you dont want to "wait and see" then dont.
My ds3 is 7 years old and Autistic. We fought long and hard for a diagnosis and I kept him back at nursery for an extra year where he attended both mainstream with assistance and a special needs nursery. Moving onto mainstream school was not an option and I made sure my voice was heard. He now attends a very good autistic unit within a mainstream primary school and is doing well.
My son too can find it very stressful to be in a noisy situation. He needs small group teaching in a calm environment as he is prone to lashing out at other children.
The staff at your son's school sound about as much use as a chocolate fireguard I'm afraid to say and they are passing the buck.
I know how you feel just now as I have been there on many an occassion and sometimes I've wanted to run away(quite frequently actually LOL)
and so my heart goes out to you, but be firm with them and stand your ground.
Believe it or not, I am quite a shy person who will do anything to avoid confrontation, but I have been amazed at how I've managed to use my voice to help my son.
I hope you get this sorted soon and I wish you very good luck with your new baby

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