My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

SN children

sexuality of autistic brother - need help please

6 replies

anchovies · 01/11/2005 19:21

Just wondering if anyone has any thoughts about what (if anything) we should do.

My brother is 20 and has aspergers. Recently he has been "caught" on a few occasions searching the internet for gay sex and other closely related stuff. My mum has gone down the route of just giving him a general rollocking about using the computer "inappropriately" however I am not sure that this is the right road to go down.

I am not sure whether he is just generally interested or has specific questions that he would like answering. There are things about the way he has acted previously that make me wonder about his sexuality but as he is so emotionally immature I don't whether this is just a natural stage? My mum feels quite strongly that she can't discuss this with him however I am torn between ignoring it or having a chat with him about his feelings but I am a bit wary of confusing him or even opening a big can of worms.

Don't suppose anyone has ever been in a similar situation or could offer some advice? I think I would like to give him the chance to talk about it but am not really sure what to say.

OP posts:
Report
sphil · 01/11/2005 22:13

I don't have any experience of this (yet!) but feel instinctively that the right thing to do is have a chat with him rather than make him feel he's doing something wrong. I don't know how I would go about this though. Would the National Autistic Association be able to give you advice?

Report
DinoIsBack · 01/11/2005 22:20

I think you should definitely try the National Autistic Society.

Report
Davros · 01/11/2005 22:38

Autism and sexuality is quite a researched area and there are some specialists. Afaik it is generally considered constructive to accept that individuals with ASD/AS have sexual feelings and needs and that they need to be allowed to express these APPROPRIATELY. That doesn't mean that their parents can do that. I attended a conference that included this subject and it was run by the NATIONAL AUTISTIC SOCIETY, I would also suggest contacting them. I could dig out the conference info and look at the name of the lecturer on this topic.

Report
anchovies · 01/11/2005 22:51

Thanks for your replies.

Since posting this, I had a chat with my mum about it and she has now decided that she will mention it to someone at his college (he is at a residential college at the mo) and get them to have a general discussion about it (apparently she isn't qualified to talk about things like this!) I still disagree though as there is no chance he would be able to ask them questions, I know he'd find it hard enough talking to us about it.

Davros if you could dig out your conference notes that would be great. I found a wendy lawson book on the sex and sexuality so may see if I can get hold of a copy.

OP posts:
Report
sphil · 01/11/2005 23:00

Sorry, I meant National Autistic Society not Association - should be in bed...

Report
anchovies · 01/11/2005 23:06

I knew what you meant!

I need to be in bed too (a book on the sex and sexuality...eh?!!)

OP posts:
Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.