I need some advice please....

[Flowertop]

Hi have two ds's 7 and 9. Last year changed schools to private (non selective) as both struggling at their state. Felt really happy as took long time to make decision and felt that now we could be sure they could settle long term. School asked me to have DS2 assessed as was really struggling. Report stated that he has really low IQ (71) and that he has spatial awareness and language problems. Had meeting with SEN teacher who said he would need extra lessons to help him and also suggested that longer term the school may not be for him as in years 5,6 and above he would really struggle. She suggested that in state school he may even be candidate for a statement (which knowing how these things work know will be impossible). I feel gutted as there doesn't seem anywhere for him to go and also he has grown to love the school. If he had dyslexia that would be ok as they have special provision in all their schools to help. They have also suggested that DS1 be assessed as they feel he may be dyspraxic. Any suggestions or advice would be really appreciated as totally new to all this.
Thanksx

[Chocolateteapot]

posting to remind me to come back to this later.

[Chocolateteapot]

I have a 9 year old DD who has dyspraxia. She was lucky and diagnosed in reception so she has had a good few years of help. She had difficulties with spatial awareness and needed Speech therapy as her tongue muscles didn't move properly. We ended up paying for this privately when she was 8 as the NHS SALT said that she didn't need it but in time it was clear she did.

She was referred by the school to our local co-ordination clinic and has received a fair bit of physio & OT over the years which has hugely helped. She has never been in the situation where she would have received a statement) but has had an IEP.

It's only a couple of years ago when the SENCO said she felt that DD would need a keyboard for middle school as she thought her writing wouldn't improve any further. She was wrong.

DD will be going to Middle School in September and as it stands at the moment she isn't on the active SN register and unless she deteriorates between now and then there aren't any plans for her to go back on, which seemed unthinkable until recently. We pay for her to have extra help with her Maths as she struggles a little with this but with everything else she is doing fine. Her writing is still not great but it is a lot better and legible, so a huge improvement.

I haven't any experience of the private sector other than ringing around some schools somewhere when we were planning to move. I did find that generally they weren't very clued up on dyspraxia. One SENCO I spoke to sounded hugely relieved when I explained that hypermobility didn't mean that she was hyperactive, merely that her joints were overly flexible. However I think there are some private schools who will be geared up to cope with it, it's just a matter of finding them.

From memory, Martianbishop has a DS with dyspraxia at a private school and I think Liz's DS has co-ordination issues and is in the private sector. I think in both their cases it is helping. But I think schools do vary hugely in their attitude to things like .

Maybe the first thing to do is to go ahead and get your DS assessed to see if he does have dyspraxia. Then if he does take things from there. My DD is an example of how good support can make a huge difference and how things can change a lot in the space of two years. Sorry you are going through this, I know how hard it is to hear what you have been told.

Hopefully someone else will be along with some advice.

[Hassled]

I think the sooner you get some sort of diagnosis (Ed Psych?) the better. TBH I'm amazed a school hasn't picked this up until he's reached 7.

I have DS3 (6) who has Verbal Dyspraxia, and is statemented - gets 20 hours a week of 1-1 support at his (state) school. It has been invaluable and he has gone from unintelligible at 4 to almost always clear at 6. So that's the sort of level of support you might get in the state sector. He has no IQ or co-ordination issues.

I also have DS2 (9) who has the more standard DYspraxia that affects his fine and gross motor skills and co-ordination. He isn't statemented, but is being taught to touch-type to deal with the slow and clumsy handwriting. He has some Aspergic tendencies. He's doing well with a (mostly)supportive school.

I agree that Years 5 & 6 will be hard for your DS, from what you say - there is much more emphasis on written work than earlier. I realise what I've written is more information than advice but it may be worth spending some time ringing the local state schools, talking to the SENCOs and getting a feel for how clued up they sound, what experience they have of children like your DS, and what they feel are the chances of getting a Statement. And if you do have to move him, remember that children are very adaptable and changes like this needn't be traumatic. Good luck!

[marmadukescarlet]

I have a DD (8) with dyspraxia who is in private education (I also have a ds (3.5) with quite severe developmental delays in private nursery of pre-prep).

OK my first questions - please don't be offended but I will be nosy here for research purposes! And it will be long...

Who exactly assessed his IQ at 71? I'm guessing the only reliable person to assess IQ is Ed Psych and they should have been able to properly assess the appearance of a dyspraxic profile.

Was it verbal or general? For a child with dyspraxia general IQ tests are unrelaible as their average score would be affected by the areas in which they underperfom (sequencing, recall etc) My dd has a verbal IQ of 141 but it has not been possible to assess her general IQ because of dyspraxia - I'm not boasting but trying to reassure you that they may be testing in the wrong areas/ways.

Ir is actually not impossible to get a Statement of Educational needs in a private school - I know of several who have one (one who has 20 hours!)and we are hopeful (fingers crossed) that we will get one for Ds - he pased his panel at first go.

On the other hand many private schools work one year ahead in the national curric. so yes he may be behind the pupils in his class, but probably woudn't be so noticeable at a state school.

Do not underestimate the power of negativity being at the bottom of the class at a competitive school may affect him very badly, he may believe he isn't as bright and give up trying to keep up.

My DD stuggled when she went into yr 3 (so yr 4 curric) as the workload increased so much and until then apart from gym for learning, many reversals of letters/numbers and much forgotten PE kit she was bright enough to hide what was going on. Major problems occurred with a crap history teacher first threatening demerits for not working quickly/neatly enough. Many expensive OT and EdP reports later stating that she had dyspraxia and speed/co-ordination/sequencing/propreception were her main issues the bitch still gave her one! So DD started to believe she couldn't do it and it became self-fulfilling.

Many private schools do not welcome children with SEN, I have removed my DS from the one dd attends and found him one where, despite his issues, he is a welcomed and valued member of the school. It may be that he would thrive somewhere else.

Are there areas in which you think he struggles - be honest with yourself - compare his abilities to his peers. If you have any worries, go and see your GP if you have concerns, without DS at first. Get a referral to an OT/Ed Psych (we have a joint clinic round here) for a proper assessment.

Good luck (and thank you to anyone that made it this far!)

[Flowertop]

Thank you all for your feedback so far. Just want to clarify a few things as think I caused some confusion by talking about both DS's. It is DS1 who I have been asked to assess for dyspraxia but my main concern at the mo is with DS2. We had him assessed by Ed Psych who reported that he had low IQ and that he had problems with verbal comprehension, perceptual reasoning and working memory,processing speed and there is more but that is just to give you the picture. Yes he struggles with all aspects of the curriculum and in year 2 has the attention of the classroom assistant along with a child who is dyslexic. So having had him assessed by ed psych could I get anything more out of GP? I know a statement is out of the question as the school we came from had a little boy who has cerebal palsy and his mum is still fighing tooth and nail to get a statement. I just don't know what to do as we all love the school and thought that this was it until they left. Do you think if I get extra tuition i.e. Kumon and pay for extra help at school, it will help. I suppose what I'm saying is can an IQ level be improved. What the Special needs teacher told me is that in year 4 he would be assessed again by the school and from that they would decide if he could continue into year 5.
Thanks for listening/reading.
X

[ahundredtimes]

It seems to me that with ds2 you have to play the Long Game don't you? And part of the Long Game is finding the right environment for him.

It may be that he will struggle with aspects of the curriculum always, and that academic work will prove to be quite hard for him. He may have developed better strategies by 16, and will flourish then. He may find that he is brilliant at ICT or something at 14.

So. If the school don't think they can support him, then find a school that can. That may be state or private. I would seriously go and look about and think about finding an environment where he will get sufficient support for his learning difficulties and where he will have lots of opportunity to grow and develop without his self-esteem being threatened.

Yes, you may end up doing Kumon maths, and sessions at the Dyslexia institute. But if the school think he won't keep up - I would listen to them. And play the Long Game. You are looking for a happy 18 y-o, who feels good about himself, and has enough choices in front of him to make decisions about his life. That's the Long Game. Find the right school.

[Niecie]

I have no experience of the private school sector, Flowertop, but it strikes me that you need to see your GP and get your DS2 referred to a paediatrican. Ed psychs have a very limited power to dx a lot of things and it could be that your DS has something that could require a team effort to deal with.

DS1 has dyspraxia/borderline AS and saw what they call a patch team in our area where he was seen by a paed, SALT, OT and a clinical psych and together they came up with a plan for how he should be treated. The ed psychs have had nothing to do with him so far. It could be that if your DS2 is properly assessed then you could get a programme of help for all aspects of his problem. He may well need to change schools at some point but I think you need to know exactly what his problem is and get all the help you can for him in the meantime.

Your DS1 needs a similar referral for his suspected dyspraxia. He would need to see a SALT and an OT as well.

I doubt you would get a statement without having jumped through these hoops either. They are very difficult to come by!

Good luck - hope you get some help soon.

[lazymumofteenagesons]

All these postings have given good advice. I have a son (13) who is dyspraxic/dyslexic. Never been statemented but Ed Psych report did look at both verbal and non-verbal sides of IQ (as marmaduke scarlet pointed out). There was a big discrepancy between these two and that is what signifies a learning difficulty.

He started off at a private prep school who picked up something was wrong almost straight away. He got alot of extra tuition and occupational therapy both in and out of school. However, by the end of year 2 I could see he would always be struggling in this sort of school (my older son was 3 years above in same school). These schools specialise in getting the kids into there next selective school at 11 or 13 and they are at least a year ahead of atate primaries.

We decided to move him into a school that specialised in dealing with dyslexic/dyspraxic children (also private). He stayed there for 3 years and is now in another independent school which is sympathetic to his needs.

Sorry, this is a bit long and not getting to the point. But you really need to find the right schools for your sons once a proper diagnosis has been made. I don't know what part of the country you are in but if you can afford private have a look at the website for Crested approved schools. These all have either specailist units attached or are solely specialist schools.

Good Luck !

By the way ime Kumon only good if you are not going to have problems getting your son to do 20 minutes of maths EVERY day before or after school.

[Flowertop]

Just want to thank you all for your help so far. I love MN as don't want to talk about it in RL (not sure why) and it is a great place to just say what you want. I will look up the Crested approved schools LMOTS - thanks for that.

I think the chances of getting him (or really wanting him) to do Kumon on top of homework is stretching it at the moment. I just want to help him.

XX

[lazymumofteenagesons]

crested.org.uk

[lazymumofteenagesons]

woops - www.crested.org.uk