Stimming ??

[twocutedarlings]

My DD (5 AS) likes to walk round in circles. I think that she really enjoys doing so. So i have never stopped her. After all she is doing no harm.

My Mum called last night, and DD was walking round flapping her hands ect (this was the first time my Mum has seen her do this). My Mum later said to me that i should stop her from doing it. I then got all defensive and told her (in a nice way) to keep her nose out.

She strongly diagreed, but in the end we basically agreed to diagree.

But its really got me thinking today, is she right ?? should i try and distract her from doing this or not.

[TotalChaos]

If it is for brief periods of time and helps her wind down, I would be inclined to just ignore it. As socially she may be feeling insecure enough as it is with the AS, without feeling that she's being criticised over somet hing fairly trivial in the scheme of things. Obviously if she's spending ages doing it, to the detriment of other aspects of her life, then that's different.

[twocutedarlings]

Thanks TC,

No shes not spending alot of time doing it. Its mainly towards the end of the day when shes tired.

She has never been the type of child that just sits and chills, she get more hyper.

Tbh i think my Mum is still struggling with denial. And seems to thinks if we try and stop little things like stimming, it might help DD appear more normal AAAAARRRHHH.

Round hole and square peg, springs to mind.

[ancientmiddleagedmum]

TBh I do have a bit of a different viewpoint to offer on this, but please ignore if you don't agree. My DS is autistic and when he was 2 and 3 he would spend virtually the whole time stimming - the main stim was jumping up and down, hand flapping and saying "eeee". But there were also others, like running taps constantly or slamming doors. I have this picture in my mind of DS when he is 18, when he'll be 6ft 5 and a handsome lovely looking man, just like he is a beautiful boy. But if he is still bouncing and hand flapping then, people will run away from him, or worse will consider him a danger. So I have spent the last 2 years physically and verbally stopping him when he stims. He has now been able to go to m/s school, because he doesn't make the "eeeing" noise or the jumping moves all the time. Similarly, my step daughter (HF autistic) used to rock back and forth while making a kind of crooning sound. Her mum also stopped her every time she did it, which is totally exhausting for a few months, but which has now paid off. She is now pretty much like any normal teenager, and I know that she herself would be mortified if people were looking at her due to her rocking and crooning. Just occasionally you'll see her get excited and a little rocking pops out, then she herself checks it because her behaviour pattern was broken at an early enough age.
What I do now is let my DS stim only after bath time, so he knows then he gets his free time and his downtime. The eeeeing fills my house therefore from 6pm - 9pm. It drives me mad, but I can cope as long as it's not all day long and also when we're out. This is just one viewpoint. I suppose it is in a way because I want him to appear normal, but I think he himself will also want that one day - particularly in the self-conscious teen years. Anyway, I'm sorry to lecture but it's just one of those aspects of autism I feel really strongly about. At DS's special school, they used to let him stim at playtimes "because he needs the sensory input". Actually, I think it was more that they needed a cup of coffee and it set me back quite a few months as he'd skipped the "bathtime only" rule. He will probably always be different from other kids, but this is one area I felt would just mark him out too strongly as he grows bigger.

[yurt1]

The 'normal' thing doesn't really apply here as ds1 will never appear normal so I don't worry about stimming from that point of view. Sometimes stimming gets 'too much' for ds1 and 'sends him over' (so he becomes a physical and mental wreck) so if it's one of those stims I try and stop it (eg turning something on and off). If it's a 'relaxing' stim I let him engage in it to give us both a few minutes peace.

[BBBee]

it is completely up to you but I would ensure that you and your mum are consistent.

[allytjd]

DS2 runs up and down, or waggles a toy making shooting noises. I must admit that i now try to stop him because i want him to appear normal for the same reasons as AMAM (DS2 is beautiful too!). He usually does it in the evening at home, he finds it relaxing but also does it when he is bored and these days can be diverted happily onto other things, mainly his nintendo DS. When he is on his DS he looks like any other boy, it is not that I am embarrassed it is just that I don't want other kids to think he is too weird. He also stims in the playground at school and this causes me concern because the other kids have stopped attempting to play with him, he is too busy running up and down.