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Should I insist that my ds joins in with class performance if he doesn't want to?

12 replies

cornsilk · 23/02/2008 12:24

My ds is 9 and has specific learning difficullties in literacy although he has been assessed as being very bright also.
Each year his school do a project in year 5 where they have to write 250 words about a historiacl character of their choice. They then have to learn this by heart and 'perform' their speech in character to the parents of the year 5 classes. Some children would love this I know, but my ds just doesn't want to do it. We have done the speech but he struggles to read and remember it. Apparently his teacher has said that if the children don't know it he will be very cross. My ds doesn't tend to tell lies or exaggerate what the teacher says - has been assessed at being in high risk category for having AS. Do you think that I should insist that he does this or not?

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needmorecoffee · 23/02/2008 12:25

Let the teacher be very cross. Big deal. In 20 years time you wont even remember his name but if you force ds into something it might traumatise him that long.
I wouldn't insist on it for any child.

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cornsilk · 23/02/2008 12:25

difficulties - should really proof read before I post!

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Bbbee · 23/02/2008 12:26

the teacher should review this task so it accomodates your son and his needs. This task is not vital to the class and can be adapted or done in a way that can be enjoyed by all.

Talk to teacher or head - but you have very good grounds to stop your son doing this - just a shame you have to.

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cornsilk · 23/02/2008 12:27

That's what I was thinking actually! His teacher is actually very good with him and it's something that the school do every year, so I shouldn't really be blaming the teacher I suppose. It's just that there's no differentiation in this and I'm worried he will be made to 'look different' by not joining in.

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colditz · 23/02/2008 12:28

I'd pull him out if you have to. What a ridiculous attitude. Well done that teacher - he wins "Best imitation of a 1920's school master" award.

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Bbbee · 23/02/2008 12:29

if you do raise it the use of the word 'discrimination' has quite a powerful effect!

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cornsilk · 23/02/2008 12:34

Hmmm - don't want to get their backs up. Apart from this they have actually been very good with ds and his teacher is very understanding. I think that it's just something the school does and everyone has to join in. Maybe they were giving him the task in the hope that he would do it as he's generally keen on facts and figures. I think I will have to pull him out of it but wish I hadn't been put in this situation.

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Heated · 23/02/2008 12:34

Can you see any way that he could have a role in this (because, although he finds it difficult, you can see the value in it?) if the task were shortened or modified?

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Bbbee · 23/02/2008 12:36

in that case can you just point out to the teacher that ds has problems with the task and does e have any ideas? it sounds like he might just not have realised that your ds could not partake and if he is a good teacher he will think of a way round this.

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cornsilk · 23/02/2008 12:40

I suggested shortening it but ds just doesn't want to do it at all. I just phoned another parent whose ds has literacy difficulties also to see how they were getting on and they said it's been stressful and hard work but he's learnt most of it, although will probably have to read it on the day. Maybe I'm too soft with him, I really don't know.

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allytjd · 23/02/2008 15:54

My seven year old is in this position at the moment re a class play but his teacher has given him a choice (something to do with seeing tears streaming down his face at the Christmas concert perhaps). He has decided to have a go but i will arrange a plan B like a behind the scenes job just in case. My 9 year old (who has mild literacy problems) recently struggled to learn a poem for Burn's night, he managed to memorise it but then his teacher, knowing he is very shy, made him go first! He burst into tears and had to wait 'til the end to have another go ( he had to read it from a sheet in the end). Speak to his teacher about letting him use notes, memorising is just something that some people find almost impossible and in RL almost everyone uses notes when public speaking or powerpoint etc.

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coppertop · 23/02/2008 16:18

I would make an appointment to speak to the teacher. Explain how stressed your ds is getting about it all and ask what the options are. My two boys (AS/ASD) are happy enough to join in with performances etc but the teachers have always made it clear that they will never be pressured to join in if they find it too stressful. If the teacher has been understanding so far then they may well be more flexible for your ds.

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