Dyslexia is an excuse??!!?

[fiveboysmum]

My ds had been kept in for 3 dinner times, (he completely missed his dinner on one occasion) when I complained and said he has dyslexia and dysgraphia (the school do know this), the Head Teacher said that ds had been kept in because he was using his dyslexia as an excuse for not doing his written work.

My son is very quiet and is always very upset if he has been told off so he would not get himself into trouble deliberately iykwim.

Is this allowed and acceptable? any commment would be appreciated, thanks.

[NKF]

I don't think much of the no meal punishment but is it possible that he is using his dyslexia as an excuse? I don't know if it's allowed but I'm sure someone will be able to help you.

[Rantmum]

Is it possible that your ds is using it as an excuse, but not because he is a trouble maker, but more because he is finding the written work too hard, so rather than doing it he is just saying he can't?

Even if so, I would want to better understand exactly what the HT meant by her comment. I think it was very poor for her to make a statement without even explaining to you what had made her reach that conclusion. I would make an appointment with the Headteacher to discuss this issue in more detail if I were you.

[Peachy]

Mising lunch is not on.

I suppose he might be using it as an excuse- but why does he feel he needs to do that? And unless an Ed Psych has suggested this , I would be inclined to say not on.

genrally, dyslexia is a reason, not an excuse.

[fiveboysmum]

Hi, Rantmum,

When I asked my son about why he hadn't done the work he said he didn't know what to write. I asked him if he had asked for help and he said he couldn't because it was "diy time" when they have to do it themselves. He said that he tried to say that he couldn't do it but the teacher didn't listen.

I don't know what advice to give my son. Words fail me. When I was at school I was always told if you don't understand ask.

My son thinks he is being kept in because he has been naughty and he doesn't understand what he has done or how he can make it better.

[TheFallenMadonna]

You need to speak to his class teacher I think, rather than the head. Ask what they are doing to make sure his work is achievable, and what exactly they mean by "using it as an excuse".

Then you'll know whether to be cross or not.

Does he have an IEP?

[fiveboysmum]

Hi
I have spoken to his class teacher more times than I can remember. She has constantly critised him for not working quickly enough or producing enough written work.

I have said repeatedly that I thought he has dyslexia. She said that he didn't and that he was just lazy.

I paid private for him to be tested and gave the school a copy of the report ( very extensive explaining all his weaknesses including slow visual processing and auditory processing problems, dyslexia and dysgraphia).

I spoke to the Head Teacher out of desperation because his class teacher was unable to speak to me. No reason given although I can imagine what it was.

My son doesn't have an iep because they say in their opinion, "He is not that bad".

[Rantmum]

Yes I think perhaps speaking with the class teacher is the best option and if I were you I would approach the meeting in a "what can we all do about this manner" rather than with the assumption that your son is right and the teacher is wrong or vice versa.

Bear in mind that children are very good at interpreting what they think their parents want to hear, and they usually want their parent to think well of them, so it is POSSIBLE that your son is not quite telling you the whole story. On the otherhand, there is clearly a lack of communication taking place about how best to deal with your son's needs in the classroom and you need to establish a strong dialogue with the teacher so that his dyslexia does not inhibit his ability to participate as much as possible.

[Rantmum]

OK, i x posts with you, clearly there is a history with the school regarding your son's needs. I still think that it is necessary to have a meeting with the teacher to discuss the issue of his dyslexia, and the issue his behaviour. I would ask the school to elaborate on why they feel he uses his dyslexia as an excuse, listen to their explanation with the intention that you will take their pov seriously. Then you can tell them what your concerns about his dyslexia are, and see if you can draw up some sort of proper plan for dealing with your son. He made need guidance for diy tasks that other children do not need, and may need to feel comfortable asking the teacher for help etc.

Btw - not an expert at all. Hope you can work something out for your son's sake.

[swedishmum]

First of all and most importantly, it's never OK for your ds to miss lunch. I would raise this issue with the school. If he has an issue with speed of work this will not help at all. This is one of the reasons I took ds out of his previous primary. It's not a primary beginning with A in Kent by any chance??
Has the school accepted your ds's diagnosis? If not, why not? If you are sure He's dyslexic, I'd insist he's referred (to cluster group round here) to specialist teacher. That should get him an IEP though may take time.

[acthmt]

Hi!

I know it's hard to deal with .... I deal with lots of parents who think their child has dyslexia in school. I'm shocked that they kept wiht in without any dinner time or did you mean he wasn't allowed to play - this is sometimes a standard time to give him the extra time to do the work....

I would look at the standard of his work and ask for standardised information about his abilities against his peers - if you have a professional report that shows he has needs and they are saying he's above or not on the same level then I think you have to question why? I have to ask who did you get to do the Dyslexia report- is it the BDA or BDI or is some other acknowledged body?

Secondly I would get a dyslexia checklist and complete it and then arrange a meeting with Both the HT and his class teacher to look at this information as if your son has difficulties but they are not being addressed you have the right to ask that the SENCO look into them. It's not good enough for them to say "he's not that bad".

Honestly speaking though we do find that some pupils are using a label (dyslexia, ADHD, dyspraxia to name a few) as an excuse to not do the work that is set. Good luck.

[FairyMum]

My children are dyslexic. They will not produce much written work either. to say a person who is dyslexic is very backwards. i thought we were 2008?

[FairyMum]

sorry to say a person who is dyslexic is lazy is backwards!

[Whizzz]

It sounds as though it's a confidence thing (especially if all around him are telling him he's no good!). He's probably scared stiff of making a mistake, hence he doesn't want to 'risk' doing the work ??
I'm also pretty sure allowing a child to miss his dinner isn't allowed!

[catok]

A child struggling with slow processing of information needs every minute's break he can have - at school - he's climbing a mountain just sorting out his thoughts and getting anything on paper.
I think you can challenge school with 'failure of duty of care' if he doesn't get to eat his lunch - letter to chair of governors if they do it again!
You'll have seen his work in school - what's the most he can write in one go?
Could be that the teacher is expecting too much thinking and writing all at once - maybe some planning notes written for him on a wipe board so he 'only' needs to concentrate on the writing would help?
Makes me feel very annoyed on your behalf - children need praise for what they can do, not a kick in the teeth when they are already down.