New Mumsnetter!-Anybody with a child that was very prem about to start or already in school with SN?

[MissiMoo]

Hello there! I am new to mumsnet and I hope that I am doing this right! I am looking for advice, experiences, reassurance really! Hope that you might help! This is the very short version as I could probably write an essay and will never get to the point so here goes....!

My DS1 was born very early (26 weeks) and was very poorly in intensive care for 6 months, ventilated on and off, 3 big operations and home on oxygen for 3 months. he has always been very undemanding and placid and until he hit nursery @ 3 we didn't really worry about anything other than his speech delay-we were blessed that he was here!

Has been dx as speech and lang delay, with Developmental delay and problems with fine and gross motor skills. Battled to get him a statement and have just secured him a place in special needs unit within a mainstream school which has seen great results and has a good reputaion (has anybody else had any experience of these units?) He is starting thursday - he is slowly making progess and is running about 1.5-2 years behind. The consultant is convinced that it is due to his prematurity and will take time to catch up - I know we were prepared for this to be the case but I am petrified that she might be missing someting! He takes well to new people and situations, never has tantrums (not often or regular) and is desperate to interact with his peers but I read on another website that spinning wheels on cars etc is a sign of autism-should I be worried? He aslso has an obsession with door handles - is that another sign? - i don't want to push the cons if she is happy with her dx but I am petrified that something might be overlooked. He is so happy, friendly, non-assuming (too placid actually!) and he is really coming on now-should I give it time?

Am I being over the top or should I just wait and see how he gets on at school - the unit sounds fantastic - I am sure he will like it - I am just really scared that it is being put down to a catch up game or is that quite normal for such prem babies to catch uo and run behind for some time??? I am going on - any stories or experiences welcome - need some reassurance before I do my own head in!!! On my mind constantly - can sleep!!! Am I being totally over the top? My other half totally trust the cons and her dx - maybe I should be too? AAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!

[LaDiDaDi]

I don't have personal experience of this but I would like to say that it's probably very difficult to say 100% if his development difficulties are due to delay from being premature or if they are related to more specific difficulties which may or may not have been caused by his prematurity iyswim.

My dd was prem, though not to the same degree as your son, and I spend ages analysing and worrying about her behaviour and development, partly because of her prematurity but for other reasons too.

I think I'm trying to give you the same advice that I try to give myself every day which is to enjoy the child that you have, diagnostic labels don't change things but can make it easier to get appropriate help, eg statement. The path that your ds's behavior and development is going to take will become clearer with time but in the meantime don't worry too much about every smal feature of your ds.