COULD THIS BE ASPERGERS OR ADD ?

[Louisa13]

Hi my 13 yr old dd is seeing a Physciatrist & psychologist for school refusal. The psychiatrist said initially she is 99% sure she has mild aspergers with some agoraphobia but 8 months later she still hasn't diagnosed yet.

I am also wondering if she has ADD. Either that or she is incredibly lazy and disobedient.

Here are some of her traits / difficulties:-

Very low self esteem
Social difficulties
Sleeping problems
lack of common sense
Clumsy
Have to prompt & ask her to do things over & over & over before it gets done.
Anxiety (school, crowds etc)
Limited interests
Lack of eye contact (not always)
poor sense of time
heightened sensitivities (fussy taste, sensitive smell, fear of loud noises, wont wear certain textures)
Average to above average intelligence
Great difficulty organising herself
Dreamy
scared to take any medication
paranoid about how she looks & things she is ugly (despite everyone telling her she is stunning)
Struggles to record school assignments
When she was younger she was scared of everything, eye tests, injections, clowns, sand, grass, loud noises, fairs etc
Bedroom a messy nightmare
Leaves everything to the last minute
Worries constantly about forthcoming events
Constantly argues with her 6 year old brother
Seems to only think about herself & never wants to put herself out for anybody.

Despite all of this she has a really good sense of humour and is bright, which is why I think the school don?t believe there is anything wrong with her. She is also very very quiet in school.

I am sorry this is so long but I would love some opinions as to what may be the matter with her.

Thanks.

[nurseyemma]

Hi, can only be brief cos already late for work, not much of this sounds like ADD more like social and/or anxiety problems. However it's important not to "pathologise" some teenage behaviours, some of this sounds lots like me ehrn I was a moody adolescent. I.e. difficulty organising herself, anticipatory anxiety, messyness, leaving everything to the last minute. Some of these things are peoples personalities and not everyone can be organised, tidy etc. I'm crap at time mangement and need really tight deadlines to get stuff done, I've only just learnt to be tidy coa of having my 10 month old dd. I always day dreamed, and never responded to requests to do stuff!! In todays climate of diagnosis I may have had lots wrong with me but in the 70s my Mum saw it as jsut part of me and tried to maximise my strengths.

I really struggles with frienfships but now have fabulous Dh and some v close mates, will never be miss gregarious. Egocentricity ocus on her strengths intelligenec, sense of humour, academic ability and seek help from a psychologist re her anxieteis. CBT may help. Also due to the sensory stuff ask for a sensory profile, OTs can do this.

Just to give you some hope, despite lots of this fitting me when I was a confused adolescnet I'm now a senior child mental health professional happily married with a gorgeous little girl. I'm not trying to minimise your problems it's just sometimes I think in our eagerness to diagmose and identify problems we turn personality traits into symptoms. Ultimately the word needs intelligent, disorganised day dreamers to function beleive it or not!

[nurseyemma]

Didn't preview message sorry for shocking spelling! Just to say teengagers are horribly egocentric but this is normal also they can't wait to have their needs met and take ages responding to requests. Important to remember that even at this age parts of their brains still aren't fully formed especially those bits that govern empathy, and consideration for others!!

[Louisa13]

Thanks for your reply Nurseyemma; hope you weren't too late for work!

The reason I am trying to get opinions is that my dd is out of school at the moment. She has panic attacks when I try to leave her there. The school refuse to beleive that there is anything wrong with her & just shout at her all the time. So basically until she gets an official diagnosis, the school will not give her any support whatsoever.

She starts her GSCE work in September & I am really worried about what she is missing out on, aswell as the social aspects.

She started doing some CBT with her psychologist but so far it hasn't done any good at all; she is so negative. What is a sensory profile?

[nurseyemma]

Don't know massive amounts about it but I remember when I worked with yuonger kids with developmental disorders the OT used to do them to look at weather they were super-sensitive to certain textures sounds lights etc. Can help with diagnosis and may help explain some of her anxieties.

CBT can tke a while to work and it only works with committed engagement from the young person. If she's very negative she probably has automatic negative thoughts and see's the world in very black and white terms. This is called all or nothing thinking. CBT is supposed to help shift these fixed beleif systems.However if she is mildly aspergers no amont of CBT will shift beleifs cos that's part of her wiring.

School sounds awful, I'm really surprised the schools I've worked with have always been really supportive and emphatic. Have you tried speaking to the SENCO/ED Psych? Shouting at her will only worsen her fears and you're right to be concerned about the effect on her academic career. Can she describe what it is about school that's making her so fearful?

[Louisa13]

Hi nurseyemma

It's mostly the SENCO that shouts at her. The school have done absolutely nothing to assist. I have therefore requested a Statutory Assessment so an outside agency can become involved in investigating what's going on in school and then hopefully she could get to see an Ed Psych.

It is the teenagers that she fears at school. When we are out shopping, she gets really anxious & stressed when we see teenagers and has to get away, male or female & it doesn't matter if she knows them or not.

She stresses about PE too, trips out of school or anything structured.

[singingmum]

Have they mentioned school phobia as this could be causing her to panic.She sounds a lot like my 12yr old ds though he is home ed so no worries about school.I have been told by some that know that he acts like a child with aspergers.
If the SENCO shouts at her then fgs'shout' back so to speak as it is not their job to yell but to help.
Hope your dd gets help soon.Good luck