Bollocks - just sobbed on the phone to a complete stranger about Aspie son.

[willyoulistentome]

I feel so crap. Just phoned a local mainstream secondary school to get appointment to speak to SENCO regarding provision for my Y5 son who has just been diagnosed with Aspergers. Speaking about his issues just somehow set me off and I ended up sobbing down the phone to her. She must have tought I was a basket case. Bugger it!!

[LadyMaryQuiteContrary]

No, not at all. You're a stressed out mum.

[willyoulistentome]

Thanks - yes - that's me lately. Keep crying in front of the kids too.
I have to phone a couple more schools later. I need to get a grip! Had a bad morning with him.

[colditz]

Nope, I do it too, so even if we are the only mothers who do that, at least there is two of us.

[willyoulistentome]

Glad it's not just me then!! Thanks Colditz. What are you up against? I know other people have it so much worse than we do, so I feel completely pathetic and a bit selfish for getting so upset about my son's issues and behaviour. After all - he's the one with AS, so it shouldn't be 'about me'.

[BarryShitpeas]

I do it too .

At the last parents' evening, the teacher said "it was lovely to get through this without tears" .

she's right though, I've cried in front of head, deputy, SENCO, ct, CAMHS, gp, paed, you name it.

[colditz]

Ds1 has ADHD and hfa. He was speech delayed and has a sensory processing disorder. He struggles socially, and can get so upset at the way things seem to go wrong for him.

And whenever I have to meet with the senco at his primary school, I cry with frustration because she does not listen.

[willyoulistentome]

Yes me too, Barry!!!! HT, GP, class teacher, child psycologist, family... It's a fairly recent diagnosis. I am hoping I will get my head around it before too long and be able to discuss it without dissolving into floods.

[willyoulistentome]

Colditz - she sounds like a shit SENCO. How old is your son. How much longer does he have at primary school? I hope his next school is better. I am very lucky as our HT is also the SENCO and her son has HFA and so gets exactly where we are coming from.

[LadyMaryQuiteContrary]

I almost cried when the physio assessed ds; she got it! It hasn't happened before.

[colditz]

He's year five too. His teacher is great and luckily the senco does fuck all anyway so he's not exposed to her

[hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman]

Me too back in the day.

DS has Asperger's and it was a long hard battle to get him diagnosed then to get school to acknowledge what was him just being a kid and what was his Aspergers.

But...it did get better. He knows he has Asperger's, he knows it makes certain aspects of his life different to the mainstream, he knows it affects the way he sees the world. He is now 21 and living his dream. He is a falconer, living away from home (that has had it's issues but on the whole he's managed well living independently).

Hang on in there.

[willyoulistentome]

So I guess you are at the stage of thinking about next schools too then. My son has the diagnosis of AS, but I suspect he also has ADD as he has real problems focusing on tasks - even just while playing, he never finishes anything. The psycologist said that was a possibility to be explored further. He has social issues too. At the moment it just looks like extreme shyness, he struggles to make friends. Kids at school have called him 'weird'. at the moment at primary school he's fine so long as he can kick a football about with the boys, but I do worry about how he will cope in his teens when things get far more 'interpersonal' and relationships are more subtle and require more reading of social cues. I am so worried about the future right now. My 7 year old DS2 is storming ahead academically and socially and DS1 has really started to notice that he is lagging behind. HIs self esteem is rock bottom.

[willyoulistentome]

hellhas - that sounds great. I am so glad your son is doing well and enjoying life. Everything looks bleak where we are right now, and it;s good to hear a happy story. I actually had no battle at all to get a diagnosis. I have BUPA cove from my job. Spoke sobbed to school, sobbed spoke to GP- got referred via BUPA to child Psycologist who saw me once, him once and gave us a diagnosis. He has no behavious problems at school at all, just at home.

[minsmum]

I have cried over so many strangers you wouldn't believe it. My ds was diagnosed as 13 and even then the school told me it was all my fault that he has aspergers. We had no help or support from anyone and when his ht phoned me to tell me he was psychotic I went and blubbed all over my GP. Honestly if you have only cried over 1 stranger you are a model of restraint. I was a complete basket case for years.

[willyoulistentome]

I have looked about to se if there are any AS specific support/info groups online. There seem to be several. Can anybody recommend one?

[colditz]

www.myaspergerschild.com/2012/04/obsessions-in-children-with-aspergers.html

[willyoulistentome]

Thanks Colditz. i'll take a look.

[willyoulistentome]

Minsmum - the school told yuit was your fault? Appalling.

[BernadetteRostenkowskiWolowitz]

the worst time is just after the dx. it gets better [bre]

[LadyMaryQuiteContrary]

I was told to put ds into a boarding school with a firm male housemaster

[willyoulistentome]

Jeez Mary - who told you that? How long ago?

[LadyMaryQuiteContrary]

It was the head herself (she'd spoken to ex mil). It was about 6 years ago. I never forgave her and our relationship hasn't been the same since. We have real issues with that side of the 'family'.

[LadyMaryQuiteContrary]

Sorry, wrong thread That was the head himself, about 6 years ago. Ignore the rest!!! Ds isn't in a boarding school, I pulled him out of that school though.