First of all, hello, I have lurked for many months but have only just plucked up the courage to post on here. I am hoping that someone on here may have some ideas as I am feeling like the very worst mother in the world tonight.
I have four children and my eldest son was diagnosed with dyspraxia at the age of 8/9, and up until three months I ago I totally agreed with this diagnosis. Only in the last last three months, we are starting to notice some classic asperger traits and we are now very concerned and worried for him.
He has started talking in robotic voice, and moving his head from one side to another, the only way I can describe it is as being similar to C3PO is Star Wars. If you ask him a question, even a basic one, he will not answer he just stares at you blankly. The only response he will give to any question is "I am indifferent", and he uses this to answer every question, all the time.
Throughout years 7-11 he had a very small friendship group and I thought he was happy, in Year 10 they started socialising at weekends but he was never invited, now they are all in sixth form together, only he is not friends with them anymore. I was worried, but his siblings tell me that they seem with the same group of people every day and he seems very happy. Only thing is, he is still not doing anything socially at weekends and evenings and he is so very lonely.
So, everything came to a head because I took him to the GP to ask for a referral for an assessment for Aspergers, my actual words were "I think it may be Aspergers, Autism or Social Anxiety" but that I was worried about my child as he is so depressed and lonely. The GP blamed me, saying that I had not encouraged him to do things enough (I know I have), he said that most cases like this were due to poor parenting. He also said he did not believe me that it had not presented earlier, to which I replied that a lot of the symptoms of dyspraxia and Aspergers are extremely similar, which he denied. At the end of the appointment the GP agreed to refer him to the teenage Mental Health Unit for an assessment, but it could be months before I hear anything.
So, tonight I had a chat with my Son and I am really proud of myself that I was having what I thought to be a constructive conversation about his referral, I was asking him questions. I was sitting on the end of his bed and he was sitting up leaning up against his headboard. Anyway, the look on his face was really, really disturbing, it was almost like he was going to attack me. I was petrified. His pupils were really dilated and all I really got out of him after thirty minutes was that he hates me and always has, he also hates his step-father and siblings, hates everyone and hates school. He admitted that he is lonely, has always felt lonely and that he hates the fact he is different to everyone else and does not understand why.
Help me please, I don't know whether to wait for this referral to come through or just to take him to A&E and ask to be referred that way. I am truly, truly worried about his mental health now, he is clearly a lot more depressed than I thought. I feel incredibly guilty that he has obviously felt this way for a very long time but all I saw was him working hard for his GCSEs.
Any help or input would be greatly appreciated, even if you think I am dealing with this in completely the wrong way I would appreciate the feedback because I really think that I am being a completely useless Mother at the moment.
Sorry it was so very long.....
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16 year old with Dyspraxia and now possibly Aspergers (V V Long - Sorry)
3 replies
Zipadeedoodaa · 28/11/2012 00:17
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