DS is 10, has moderate autism. He takes an age to eat most meals (hours and hours). We have told him him that he only gets treats after meals if he eats all his main meal in a decent time -like less than an hour! Otherwise we find it impossible to get anything done and can't plan to go out after meals etc, and it also means when he is eating unsupervised within defined time limits like at school he only eats about a third of his food.
Tonight we began eating at 5:15 -a meal he enjoys of pizza, pasta and garlic bread. Notma huge portion. He began the meal by declaring he'd like his favourite flavour of ice cream afterwards if he ate it all. I agreed that would be a suitable treat for us all -DS, DD aged 2, and me. I asked that he eat his meal within 45 mins by 6 o'clock in order to qualify for ice cream. We are trying to help him with his understanding of time as well as the speed with which he does anything!
By 5:30 everyone else had finished. I served the ice cream into three bowls (obviously only a tiny portion for the two year old!); DD and I ate our's and I out DS's in front of him as an incentive to finish within the remaining 10 minutes before 6pm. He only had two slices of pizza left. At 6pm, DD had finished and got down, DS still had 1 and 3/4 slices of pizza left, dispute making a big show of hurrying (chomping fast etc), so he he obviously believed he was going quickly, even though no progress was being made. So I gave him ten additional minutes, and set the kitchen timer, explaining we had ten minutes left, and he had to finish, or the buzzer would go off and I'd have to to take his portion of ice cream away. I sat with him and encouraged big bites, kept telling him how many minutes were left etc. buzzer wen off, one whole slice left. We talked about what the buzzer meant and he understood it meant removal of the ice cream, and looked crestfallen. I caved in and gave him five more mins, same process, buzzer, encouragement, explanation of the consequences of not finishing. He still hadn't finished when the buzzer went off so I did indeed take the ice cream away, explain I was sad not to be able to give him his treat, but reiterated treats are for finishing meals in good time. I left him to finish in his own time and he finished about 18:40, asked what happens next and I said that's it, get down and wash hands, checking he was ok.
That was ten mins or so ago and he's been fine since, not asked for the ice cream, not sad, joining in the CBeebies bedtime story with his sis nicely. I feel very mean, but also that without black and white rules there will be no progress. And I don't see how I can treat someone for taking 25 minutes to eat one slice of pizza, so I had to follow through. Obviously not getting his ice cream out would have been less wasteful, but without visible insentives he really does take an age.
Does anyone with autistic DC's have any advice, on withholding treats, following through with consequences, or indeed on speeding up eating, or incentivising behaviour in general?! It would be much appreciated.
For context, he eats a pretty wide range of foods, getting wider every year, and is not nearly so fussy about eating as autistic support staff leads me to believe some kids are.
Sorry this is unnecessarily long!
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Removed autistic DS's ice cream... Advice welcome.
6 replies
birdofthenorth · 24/10/2012 19:02
OP posts:
PolterGoose ·
27/10/2012 11:15
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