my 20 month old wont sleep and still requires feeds in the night HELP!!

[elliesel]

Hi,

My daughter is 20 months old and is still being breast fed as she wont drink milk out of a bottle or cup and wont take anything else at night. she wont sleep through the night as she wakes and demands a feed before she goes back to sleep. We've tried leaving her to cry but she makes herself sick! we are at our wits end and exhausted.

I have gone back to work part time so i am constanly tired and it puts a lot of presure on me and my partners relationship. and to top it all off she has now taken to sleeping in our bed.

please help were exhausted!!!!

[colditz]

Stop feeding her at night. She doesn't need it, she wants it and it's not the same.

I would use controlled crying, and if she is sick, silently clear it up, put her back to bed and carry on with CC.

If you want her to sleep in your bed, that's fine, but it sounds like it is detrimentally affecting your life, and she is of an age now where she can be expected to sleep in her own bed, and not be fed at night. She doesn't need to take "anything else" at night, she is nearly 2.

She is waking up because you still feed her, not because she needs it.

Sorry, it's a bit of a rant, but really, what about your rights? To a good night's sleep, to a sex life, and to not be the sole provider of fluids to a nearly 2 year old?

[spidermama]

I think colditz is right. You have to do what's right for you. Lead the way. Anyway, you'll probably be a better mum to her when you're happier and less tired.

Good luck.

[TracyK]

will she not go back to sleep with a cuddle from dh? so she doesn't smell milk?

[emkana]

At 20 months my dd1 was still feeding at night, and sleeping in our bed. I just let her, and a few months later she slept through all by herself, and a bit after that she gave up breastfeeding of her own accord. If you let her sleep with you and don't get worked up about it you will probably all get more sleep and feel more rested. You can have a sex life while she is sleeping and you are still up - doesn't have to be in the bedroom.
Maybe she is going through a clingy phase and she just needs reassurance for a bit. I firmly believe, and I have experienced with my dd's, that if you go with the flow then very very often the problem will solve itself once they grow older and more understanding. I found with mine that at 20 months you couldn't negotiate yet, but at 2 you can say "No milk until it's daylight" or whatever and they start to understand and it becomes much, much easier.

Hang in there! Good luck!