6 week old sharing room with 2.5 year old sibling - is this possible?

[bunjies]

My 3rd child (dd2) will be 6 weeks old this coming weekend and I'd like to move her in with her big sister who is 2.5 years old. Dd1 is a great sleeper (has been from about 8 weeks old) and sleeps through from 7.30pm - 7am (longer if we're not up and about). Dd2 shares a room with us and wakes for night feeds at about 12am and 3/4am and will cry until we get to her. However, once she's been fed she will go back to sleep. Our main problem is that she cries for about 5-10 mins when we first put her to bed at about 7pm and then drops off. We only go to her to settle her down then leave. If dd2 sleeps from about 7.15pm how do we get dd1 settled without waking dd2? Also, has anyone else had children of these ages sharing a room whilst still giving night feeds to one? Does the crying wake the other one up? I'd like to give it a go this weekend as it's bank holiday and so if it doesn't work out at least no-one has to go to work the next day! I hope this makes sense.

[mears]

I personally would not trust a 2.5 years old toddler with a relatively new baby. Have visions of them climbing in the cot to play with them etc.

It is also recommended that babies are in the same room as their parents for 6 months as it reduced risks of cotdeath. I personally feel it is too young to share a room.

[QueenEagle]

I'm in the same situation right now too. DS3 aged 2yrs 3mths is in a room on his own although has previously shared with his two older brothers aged 9 and 11 until we gave each of them their own rooms.

DS4 is nearly 14 weeks and we want to move him in with DS3. DS4 is now sleeping from about 9pm til 6am but DS3 sometimes wakes at 5 and plays (loudly) before I put him back in his bed and he will usually go off to sleep again til about 7.

My worry is that DS3 will wake DS4 by poking him or throwing toys at him or even climb in his cot. I have a potential scenario where they are both wide awake at 5 in the morning! I'm tempted just to go for it and see what happens as it's something that has to be done sooner or later. I reckon DS3 might be jealous of DS4 invading his room so should I hold off for a bit or just do it?

[julen]

Ds (almost 1) and dd (almost 3) have shared a room since ds was about 3 months (I think..). They both can sleep through amazing amounts of noise, and feeding ds at night never woke dd up. They do wake each other up in the mornings though - although I suppose that the fact that they are 'wake-upable' means that they would have woken up by themselves soon enough anyway.

[Gobbledigook]

I would only let them share once the baby is in a proper cot the toddler can't climb into or pull over. If still in a moses basket/crib it's a bit too risky.

Otherwise no problem with noise or waking each other up. ds1 and ds2 shared from when ds2 was a few months old if I remember correctly. Not had any problems with it - it's worse now they are both in beds as they just muck about at bedtime!

[Lonelymum]

Mine have always shared a room (No 1 with No 2 and then No 3 with No 4, now No 1 and No 3 are on their own and No 2 and No 4 are sharing) It has never been a problem putting a baby in with an established sleeper: the sleeper does not wake up when the baby does, or only does so briefly. The best thing though is that the older child entertains the younger one in the morning.

[bunjies]

Thanks for these views. I don't think there would be a problem with dd1 climbing into dd2's cot as she can't even climb into/out of her own bed! Mears - can you explain the rationale behind the theory of sharing the parents room until 6 months to reduce cot death? How does this work?

My main readon for wanting to move them in together is purely selfish - I find it incredibly hard to sleep through all the snuffling and gruffling at night as I'm such a light sleeper and have had to resort to ear plugs (unfortunately can still hear her crying ), however, I don't want to use these indefinitely. Both my other children were in their own rooms by this age but we don't have enough bedrooms anymore. I also don't like not being able to read in bed anymore, having to get undressed in the dark and not be able to talk to my dp once we're in the bedroom for fear of waking her up.

Can anyone shed any light on how you manage the bedtime routine with 2 children of such different needs and bedtimes?

[Gobbledigook]

Bunjies - so what if it's selfish - those are the exact reasons I moved mine earlier too! For my own sleep!!

What's the problem with your routines? I just put all mine down together. I've got 3 aged 4, 2 and 7 months. The 4 and 2 yr old who share a room go to bed together at around 7.15 with their milk and a quick story from dh. The 7 month old is still awake at this point but has his milk as soon as the other 2 go to bed and then he goes straight to bed too, but in his own room.

When we had a baby and toddler sharing, we just kept the toddler up while the baby was fed, then put them to bed together OR put toddler to bed first since they probably go off to sleep quicker and are less likely to wake up, feed baby then put them to bed too.

[mears]

Bunjies - here is a link for you regarding reducing the risk of cotdeath.

I had 3 children under 4 yrs at one point and what I would say is that I never kept things quiet for the baby - they had to learn to sleep through noise. I still read in bed if i wanted to and dressed with the light on.
I always kept the babies in my room until they could stand and shout at you through the bars of the cot .

[bunjies]

Thanks for the link Mears - trouble is it doesn't actually explain why having the baby in the room reduced the risk - only that it does. I would be very interested to read about this if anyone knows of a link.

I realise I am being a bit precious about the noise thing and need to lighten up a bit about it, especially with 3 children in the house now!

Has anyone had to deal with a baby still waking in the night for feeds whilst sharing with an older sibling? Did your baby wake their sibling up? What happened?

Sorry so many questions - I should just get on and try it I suppose!