Help- Why this now????

[kbaby]

I'm hoping that someone may have found a similar thing and be able to help.
DD is 9 1/2 months and has always gone to bed ok. We could put her in the cot in the evening and she goes to sleep. She then used to wake once for milk about 11ish and then back to sleep. But this has all recently changed and I dont know why.
She has now started crying when we put her down. If we stay with her shes ok but once we leave the bedroom she cries again. We then have to cuddle her to sleep and then leave, only for her to wake up at 11ish again and then 1am. The problem is that at 1am I dont have the energy to cuddle her to sleep as she doesnt seem tired and fights being cuddled but if we leave her in the cot she cries. Originally I though she was teathing but if we bring her into bed she either plays for hrs or goes to sleep. She cant be in pain or surely she would still cry even in our bed.
Im stuck as to whats wrong and what I can do. We have tried cc b4 and she cries non stop for nights on end with no improvement. I left her to cry on Friday as I was so frustrated at the lack of sleep and she just made herself sick. I just cant work out whats wrong and I dont want to bring her into bed but in the early hrs im out of ideas as to what to do and just need sleep.
Anyone have any ideas?
tia

[kbaby]

Bump.

Please someone must be able to help. I am cracking up with only 4 hrs sleep a night. I cant think what to do to help her sleep.
Ive tried CC when she was 7 months and she cried for 2 hrs for 5 nights. At which point I was going back to work and couldnt continue it any longer plus after 5 nights of no improvement I gave up hope that it would work.
Please help!

[LIZS]

Could be separation anxiety or could be teething - the comfort of your bed may be enough to resettle her even with a bit of pain. Have you given her anything for the teeth - we usually found a generous smear of Dentinox enough to get dd to settle back. Has her daytime nap and activity changed at all recenlty, could she be getting overtired ?

For the separation you could try Tracey Hogg's approach (Pick Up, Put Down) as an alternative to CC which involves resettling and reassurance rather than just the withdrawal. You wait for her to be settled and asleep before you leave.

Hope you solve it soon.

[Newbarnsleygirl]

The Tracet Hogg method is very good.
I told my MIL to do this with dd when she slept at her house because she doesn't settle there. It works a treat.

Have you tried any teething gels just in case?

[cutekids]

FROM MY EXPERIENCE, BRING HER INTO YOUR BED BUT TURN OVER AND GO TO SLEEP!!SHE/HE WILL BE TOTALLY NAFFED OFF BUT , IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS WHEN THEY REALIZE THEY'RE NOT GETTING THE ATTENTION, THEY'LL JUST FALL ASLEEP! BELIEVE ME! I HAVE 3 KIDS ALL BORN 12 MONTHS BETWEEN AND THEY DAREN'T ARGUE WHEN THEY'RE IN "DADDY'S BED"!!!

[soapbox]

I would say its separation anxiety. The positive slant is that she now realises how much she loves you and doesn't want to be apart from you It can be a pain in the bum though

I think at this juncture the parenting splits into two. Those that think routine is important will go down the controlled crying route and those who think that attachment is important will go down the cuddling them to sleep route.

My children are now 4 and 6 years old and we cuddled them to sleep for a very very long time and you know what - don't regret one minute of those times It was a privaledge that is short lived - they go to bed by themselves now (and have done for quite some time now) and I long for the days of cuddles again

[kbaby]

Thanks. Shes now gone back to going in her cot awake in the evening and sending herslf to sleep which is good. But she's still waking at 11pm for 2-3 hrs. Ive tried calpol, medised and teething gel. I know that her top front teeth are coming through. But the teething stuff doesnt seem to make a difference. Last night I set up a spare bed in her room so that when she woke at 11 I gave her milk put her in the cot and then laid on the bed at the side just stroking her head, she would moan, lift her head and then when I said sshh she would lie back down. But after 1hour she was still restless, i decided to bring her into bed and maybe cuddling would send her off to sleep but it seemed to have the opposite effect and she started clapping, talking etc after 1hr of this I got fed up and put her in the cot and let her cry for 5 mins, then I went back in and cuddled her where she fell straight asleep. The problem is that she is adorable but im losing my patience with her in the nights and as she keeps wriggling and pushing away im trying to cuddle her tightly and then we both get all flustered. I know I would never hurt her but I find myself just having to walk away at times.
This has been going on now for 2 weeks. I just wish I knew why it was happening.

[TracyK]

what are her naps like during the day - maybe need to cut one back/out?
The fact that she is awake and playing at god awful times suggests she's not in pain or tired. Maybe shes ready for less sleep in the day to get more at night?