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Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

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Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

Sleep

7mth dd-Not settling

86 replies

mummynumnum · 27/01/2007 19:14

My dd (7mths) has always been a good sleeeper, but I think I have made a mistake since going back to work 4 weeks ago. Was so tired the first week, that when dd woke in night for feed I kept falling asleep on the bed in her room, with her next to me. Did this when she was v tiny but had got her out of the habit. Now when she wakes in the night, she is finding it hard to settle herself without me co-sleeping with her. Can this situation be solved without resorting to cc-I really dont think I can do that. Could she be like this as she is teething and got a cold and will go back to how she was once this has passed?? Any ideas or advice/

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mummynumnum · 28/01/2007 08:16

DD would not even settle by herself last night and only went to sleep when I jumped in with her at 10pm. Feel like I am going to have to do cc. Can anyone suggest any alternatives?

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becksmummy · 28/01/2007 10:44

My dd is also 7 mths and I am just in the process of getting her to fall asleep on her own in her cot rather than in my arms, I didnt want to do cc either!

I go through usual bedtime routine, bath bottle etc then lay her in the cot awake but I dont leave her I lean into the cot and keep 1 hand on her so she knows I am there while saying shhhh, shhhh (quietly though as keeps her awake if too loud) she squirms at first but eventualy falls asleep. Each night this process is getting quicker!

Dont know if this will work for you but may be worth a try rather than cc!!!

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mummynumnum · 28/01/2007 14:59

It does sound better than cc. I have tried this in the past, but perhaps have not been consistent enough. Maybe I will give it a go again,

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shish · 29/01/2007 10:53

This sounds good. My ds won't settle by himself either - he is 7 months too. I have been this when he wakes in the middle of the night. Only problem is, he still wants me next to him. Maybe it will get better??

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mummynumnum · 29/01/2007 19:31

Hopefully will get better. DD has gone down first time tonight. So fingers crossed!

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dcb · 30/01/2007 14:21

hi to becksmummy - i think it was you i was posting with about dummies falling out?? we're still using dummies with dd (7 months) but only during the day now. i've just posted on another thread (hourly wake ups help) about cc. i was really against it but dh persuaded me to try whilst we were on holiday - he promised to do most of it as he wasn't working the next day. it really wasn't that bad and she now(dare i say it) sleeps 10.30-6am. i didn't believe it was possible - i thought she'd be so inconsolable that she would never settle - but she did and amazingly quickly. i think she is about the right age - i wouldn't have done it any earlier as i know she can manage without a feed overnight now. did think about doing pu/pd until dh pointed out that we would end up crippled as she was in a travel cot at floor level.

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shish · 30/01/2007 16:25

dcb, I've tried this and failed cos I can't leave ds crying for more than a few minutes. Also tried pu/pd, but it was back breaking. Can you tell me how you did it?? How long did you leave it before patting or shhing? What was the longest you left dd to cry in total? How many nights/days did it take?

Sorry for asking so many questions

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mummynumnum · 30/01/2007 20:14

They seem like good questions.

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dcb · 30/01/2007 21:52

took 3 nights
1st night) went in after about 2-3 min and said something like "it's ok, it's sleepy time, back to sleep". then carried on saying the same thing (both me and dh in turns) every 2-3 min, then went to 5 min then next every 10 min. she cried but not in a rage as i was expecting het to. after about 30 mins she settled but then cried intermittently for another hour. then woke up an hour after and we did the same, lasted about 20 mins. then woke again about 1 and half hrs later - the same thing for about an hour. not continuous crying but evry few min would "remember to cry"

2nd night) - similar but twice

3rd night) similar about 3 times

4th night) slept 10.30-6am (jumped out of bed gleefully to feed her)

maybe it was easier as i had stopped feeding her overnight i.e after 10.30 and was using a dummy/in bed with me instead - so didn't have the worry of wondering whether she could survive the night without bm - i knew she could as she wasn't that hungry first thing.

it was hard and we both felt frustrated but we did it when dh had a week off work otherwise we never would've coped with the sleep deprivation. since then we've had mainly good nights - 1-2 where she has woken but we don't even go in anymore - she doesn't cry for longer than 10 min if she does wake - and it's a "tired" cry.

still early days and could all change back but so far so good. i didn't want to leave her to cry but it's only been for a short time and we're all much happier for it - she even had a 2 hr nap in her cot today

sorry it's so long......

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shish · 31/01/2007 15:21

That's great. Thank you so much for replying. I stopped feeding ds in the night quite a few weeks ago, so he's not waking up for a feed - just for no real reason. He has his last feed around 9.15/9.30pm and this lasts him till about 8am.

Sometimes when he akes up in the night, he will fall back asleep if I put his dummy in his mouth. Should I not be doing this?

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mummynumnum · 31/01/2007 21:01

Thanks for the advice dcb. It was really helpful and will give it a go when dh and I are on hol week after next.

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dcb · 31/01/2007 22:20

you can use a dummy - we were - but it depends how often you have to put it back in. i was getting up freq overnight so we went cold turkey - i still use it during the day though for short naps - nt sure whether this will confuse her but seems to be ok. we had a blip last night (at least i hope that's all it was) she woke at 4am and wouldn't settle. after going in several times i fed her at 5.15 (as i normally would've at 6 anyway). not sure if this was the right thing to do - i thought she would just cry until 6 if i didn't. as it happens she cried til then anyway - and had a small/medium feed. not sure what tonight will bring.

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dcb · 01/02/2007 08:25

not too bad a night - she woke at 2am - i went in and said the usual and left. she stopped crying 4-5 min later and then woke at 6am - phew! thought it had all been for nothing. feel better again today - it's not too bad getting up at 6am - it's amazing what you get can done. i hopeshe'll be in a better mood today having had more sleep. good luck

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mummynumnum · 01/02/2007 09:11

I had to resort to getting in the bed with dd, but really going to try and crack this when on half term. Feel like I need strength of a hol to do this.

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shish · 01/02/2007 15:00

We decided to go cold turkey last night. Found the strenghth and the courage to go for it. Ds had been waking hourly. Last night he went down at 9.30pm and woke at around 11pm. Let him cry and went to him every 2 mins.. He fell back asleep after half an hour. The second time he woke he cried for about 5-6 mins and went back to sleep. The third time, he winged for about 5-10 mins and went back to sleep. Does this sopund like progress?? Gonna go for it again tonight. Found it really hard yesterday leaving him to cry, but now I've started I know I can do it again.

Thanks for all the advice and I'll let you all know How we get on

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mummynumnum · 01/02/2007 16:05

When you went back to him, did you pick him up or just put a hand on him?

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dcb · 01/02/2007 20:51

shish - sounds good. good luck tonight - let us know how it goes

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shish · 02/02/2007 10:50

I just patted him and said 'shh it's ok go to sleep' - or something to that effect. But not continuously until he fell asleep, like I used to. Only enough to show him a little comfort.

Last night he woke twice and cried for about 5-6 mins each time and went back to sleep.

Does it sound like it's working? I hope I'm not fooling myself!

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kbaby · 02/02/2007 22:37

Not sure if this helps but we did gradual retreat with our 6 month old.

He would only go down asleep and so for bedtime and naps I started putting him down drowsy and then just patting him until he fell asleep. He did cry but it was mainly a whingy cry and only in intervals for a max of 10 mins, the crying reduced over the next couple of days and at that point I stopped patting and would just lay my hand on him to settle him to sleep, then once he was ok with that I would put him down without my hand on him.
It took about a fornight in total but hardly any crying but it needs patience.

Were now back at the sometimes patting /sometimes just resting my arm on him as DH cant be bothered with it and has been putting him down asleep so were back to where we started!

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mummynumnum · 03/02/2007 08:56

I like the sound of that. It sounds much more pleasant than cc. have told my dh that he needs to be tough and make me tough, as any crying and i give in.

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dcb · 03/02/2007 09:35

shish - sounds like you're getting there. we had our best night ever last night 7-7 - don't know how long it will last but it's great knowing that she can do it. she's been in such a good mood today and has even stayed awake just over 2 hrs which normally she never is able to. we also stopped the dream feed last night - i think this has really helped. good luck tonight shish - it may be worse on the 3rd or 4th night but keep going - it sounds like you're doing well

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shish · 03/02/2007 10:08

Dcb, he went to sleep at 9.20pm last night. Woke at about 4.50am and cried on and off for about 1 hour and 15 minutes - stopping for up 2-3 minutes at a time. Just as you think he's gone back to sleep, he starts again!! He then slept through till 8.10am.

In some ways I feel like we've lept forwards cos he only got up once, but in other ways I feel like we've gone backwards cos he cried for so much longer.

Kbaby, we had tried everything. This was my last resort. I found I was, until Wed night, spending most of the night sitting next to his cot, patting him and shhhing him back to sleep. Cc has been my last resort.

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dcb · 03/02/2007 12:06

shish - i think sometimes they "test" you after a few nights to check if you will give in. our dd certainly did. i'm sure you are getting there - it just doesn't seem like it when you've been up half the night. let us know how you get on tonight. we're going out tonight so i bet it all goes pear-shaped

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shish · 04/02/2007 17:13

How did it go last night dcb?? You've been doing really well.. Did you start this very long ago?

Last night was better. Ds woke up once and cried on and off for about 10-15 minutes. I'm determined not to give in now, otherwise, everything we've done so far will have beena waste of time and hard work.

I have to say a huge thanks to you. Seeing your post on here gave me the courage and determination to go ahead with this method. So THANK YOU

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dcb · 04/02/2007 19:23

hi shish - that's great news. we started about 12-13 days ago on our holiday! not the best we've ever had but worth it now. she wasn't too bad last night. of course she did cry whilst we were out last night - inlaws were babysitting and timed it - 7 mins but they didn't go in - i think they were frightened of upsetting our "sleep training"... she then went 'til 5.30 - and didn't sound like she would settle - so i fed her about 6ish - she took a big feed so i guess she was hungry. i don't really know what to do at this time of day - i always think she must need feeding so i do - i'm not overly keen on getting up this early, esp as she's usually tired again by abouy 7.30, but i don't want to put her back to bed in case it confuses her. will see what tonight brings. mind you i have to keep remembering that this is a huge improvement on what she was doing.

mummynumnum, are you looking forward to halfterm????? how's it going?