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Do dads have some special knack for making babies sleep?

13 replies

cornflakegirl · 16/01/2007 13:34

My DS is 19mo and for the most part a very good sleeper.

However, most Fridays we go out for the evening to our friends'. We put DS down in a travel cot in our friends' bedroom at his normal bedtime, and then take him home with us at around 11pm. We've done this since he was very small.

He's always made a bit more of a fuss about going to sleep at our friends' than at home, which seemed fair enough. But for a few months now, he's refused to go to sleep there if I try to put him down. I know he's playing me, but don't know what to do about it. Neither PU/PD nor prolonged cuddles seem to work.

But - if my DH or my friend's DH takes over, he will be asleep in 2 minutes.

This would just be amusing, except that my DH can't always be there to put him to bed, and I don't like having to rely on my friend's DH to get DS to sleep.

It also happens sometimes at home. I put DS down most evenings, and for most of his naps at weekends (I work full time in the week and DH is at home with DS). Normally he goes straight down, but if he does decide to play up, as soon as DH comes to take over, he goes straight down for him. And he nevers seems to play up when DH puts him down.

I know he's playing me - but what do I do about it?

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InvisibleFlamesparrow · 16/01/2007 13:50

Dad's don't tend to cave so easily, and children seem to know that from early on!

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sandcastles · 16/01/2007 13:57

Because he knows he can play you. He doesn't have your attention when daddy does it, therefore not worth the fight!

(i.e mummy is worth staying awake for...daddy isn't )

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sandcastles · 16/01/2007 13:58

Ask dh what he does & follow that BUT you have be consistent.

If dh puts down & walks away, you do it (obv know he may create, but try to leave bigger gaps before returning)

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cornflakegirl · 16/01/2007 14:32

I would have put it down to me being too soft - but DH is the soft one!

I try no eye contact, repeating "it's bed time", laying him straight back down again - textbook stuff. DH gives him a big cuddle, chats to him about the stuff in the room, sings him a song... I have tried doing DH's stuff, but it doesn't work for me My friend's DH doesn't do anything special though!

Flame - that does make sense...! Certainly when he was smaller, it was easy to give up and feed him! I don't think he's holding out for milk, because he's pretty good at asking for it now. Eg I can't get up to DS if he wakes in the night (shame!) as it makes him as for milk (he just goes back to sleep if DH goes in).

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poppiesinaline · 16/01/2007 14:35

maybe 'us mums' give more sympathy and they pick up on that (more cuddles, more ahh, shhh, night night, shhh). Dads tend to be more matter of fact about stuff.

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JARM · 16/01/2007 14:35

i have the same here with both my girls, my dad and DH can both get them to sleep in minutes.

My dads secret is a hotspot on his chest, its warm and safe for them so they drop off at the first touch!

DH - who knows?! he does exactly as i do, but they listen to him lol

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poppiesinaline · 16/01/2007 14:36

oh, Ill shut up then! LOL

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cornflakegirl · 16/01/2007 14:37

Also, when he is playing up, he gets very upset when I put him down, and even worse when I leave the room. It feels pointless and cruel do attempt sleep training given that DH can "fix" him so quickly and easily...

(Not saying it is cruel - just that's how I feel when I've been doing PU/PD with him for 30 mins just because I want him to go to sleep so I can go and have a nice evening with my friends...)

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cornflakegirl · 16/01/2007 14:38

JARM - xpost - I'm glad it's not just me!

poppies

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aDad · 16/01/2007 14:43

It's a closely guarded dad secret that i couldn't possibly pass on I'm afraid.



Actually with us it has been through phases of one of us having more luck, then the other.

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cornflakegirl · 16/01/2007 14:52

I could handle it if he just went down better for DH, given that he spends so much time with him. But how come he prefers my friend's DH?

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aDad · 16/01/2007 14:58

If you're around less often during the week, maybe your DS just wants to squeeze out as much time with you as possible? Take it as a compliment.

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cornflakegirl · 16/01/2007 16:23
Grin
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