6 week old bellows after bath - am I doing something wrong?

[daern]

Hi all,
(I'm the father, BTW. Not sure if I'm allowed to post in mumsnet, but here we go...)
I'm having a small (well, huge really) problem with my 6 week old DD. She's driving us up the wall and I think I need some advice (to add to the masses of conflicting advice that we already have )...
We've been following a routine since she was 2 weeks old. Every evening at around 7pm we go upstairs, undress her and have a bath. She spends around 10 or 15 minutes in the bath, happily floundering around, blowing bubbles and, at least once, showing us what a wee fountain looks like. I then remove her from the bath, carefully dry her with a nice warm towel, slap a nappy back on (because "fountains" aren't as funny in the bedroom ) and head for the nursery to get her dressed and ready for bed...
We put her into her vest and sleepsuit and she has her last feed of the night and then...
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
She explodes! It's like someone has stuck a timebomb under her. Often she'll start while I dress her, but we have never managed to get her to go down to sleep at this time and she usually takes at least another 2-3 hours before she's burnt out and ready for sleep. And even then, she fights it every step of the way...
We're finding it harder and harder to cope with the endless screaming in the evening. It's the only time I get to spend time with her during the week (I'm at work) and it's such a shame when she bellows so much. We've had lots of suggestions, but today our health visitor recommended that we put her down and if she starts crying, go in and calm her every 5 minutes or so, leaving her to bellow in between.
I was under the impression that you shouldn't do this on such a young baby, but Mrs Daern thinks that we should give it a go...
So, the question for the group is: Should I try it? And if so, how long should I try it for? A week, a month, 3 months?
Any advice would be really appreciated!
Thanks,
Daern

[Quootiepie]

Could it be colic? Is she breast or bottle fed? Irrelevant I guess since both ways babies can get colic...

[Quootiepie]

and to be honest, I wouldnt do the leaving them crying etc., especially not this young. Shes not being naughty - shes crygin for a reason, the best thing is to find the reason...

[Quootiepie]

crying

[ledodgychristmasjumper]

It sounds like she has colic, there are drops like infacol or gripe water you can try but I have found these of little use. The thing that worked for my ds was craneal osteopathy if you do a search on here you'll find lots of positive comments on it. |If you google colic there are some diagrams which show you different ways of holding her to help release the wind this may help also.

[purplemonkeydasheranddancer]

if you look through past threads you'll find that evenings are very often like that with little'uns. IMO she's too young to leave her to cry.

[Quootiepie]

when you say shes blowing bubbles - do you mean in the water? Possibly she is swallowing some of the water, causing a tummy ache?

[DizzyBinterWonderland]

we used to find that a bath at bed time would overstimulate our dd. we now do baths in the morning, and only maybe two or three times a week. if you think it's the bath that's the problem then try cutting it out. you can still have a good bed time routine without the bath.

other than that i would try to keep things as calm and quiet in the run up to bed time. i wouldn't go for the letting her cry at this age tbh. what calms her down? a feed? a cuddle?

also, it may be that as you haven't seen her all day, when you come home the temptation is to play and make her giggle etc etc but what she needs is quiet before bed IYSWIM. i know we had this trouble with dh coming home so excited to see dd!

a really good book you may or may not have heard of is 'the no cry sleep solution' btw

[majorstress]

My dd1 went insane after every bath from day one but before the feed, then conked out after the feed. We felt really helpless and it was a huge struggle to get her dressed for bed, I remember that worried, panicky feeling. BUT she was tired, hungry and a bit chilly, I guess. She got used to it in a few weeks. I would try the HV tactic, I bet after a couple of nights it will work. Also if you DON'T get her used to going down to sleep on her own you might end up like my friends, rocking an enormous 3 year old to sleep every night and several times throughout the night as well. This did not have a great effect on their marriage among other things.

[tribpot]

Please don't leave her to cry.

What happens if you skip the bath? Just out of interest. How soon before bathtime is she napping, is she just not tired?

[WigWamBahhumbug]

I'd guess colic too - although she may also be cold from the bath, which won't help.

At six weeks she's way too little for controlled crying - which is what your HV is recommending. CC is not recommended until at least 6 months, and more usually 12 months. She's crying because she needs comfort, not because she's manipulating, or any of those other words that are sometimes used to describe crying babies, and giving her what she needs now isn't going to mean that you set yourself up for problems getting her to sleep later.

The first couple of months with a new baby are hell on legs, but it will pass ... and before long she'll be onto the next phase that will drive you completely round the bend!

[Miaou]

Does it seem to be the bath that is triggering it? Or does it happen at roughly the same time every night?

If it seems to be linked to the bath, then don't worry - I've got three and they all did this and so do many, many babies. I think it's the overwhelming nature of moving away from the warm water then being dried, and bare ... etc . It will pass in a few weeks as she grows up a bit.

If it is colic - then I'm afraid there isn't much you can do except ride it out! Again, all three of mine went through this, screaming for about three hours from 6pm to 9pm every night - then magically stop

Try and bear with it, it will pass. I don't think controlled crying will help at this stage, as you say she is too young. Also, unless you are sure you can hack it you will simply find it too distressing!

I'm sure more posters will have ideas at how to ride the storm, but there's some thoughts for you.

And welcome to mumsnet btw. Dads are most welcome - there are a few here

[Miaou]

lol! when I started typing there were no replies!!

[daern]

This website is truly amazing. I thought I'd have a quick look to see if anyone had replied - 13 in < 15 minutes! Thank you so much!

Anyway, here are some answers:

dd is breastfed exclusively, apart from one bottle of ebm every other night or so.

We've tried Infacol, but TBH she's pretty good at getting rid of wind (which is really all this does) and as we didn't really notice an improvement, we've stopped using it. Not tried Gripe Water, but it's in the cupboard...

No, she isn't swallowing bath water. When I said "blowing bubbles" I actually meant the other end... ;-)

Thanks for all of the advice on CC. I think we following our own instinct which also said that she's too young to be left to cry.

We don't bath her every night and, TBH, she still cries. It's just that the bath is a reliable trigger...

Thanks again for all of the replies. I'll post more later, but I'd better go and do some baby rocking now...

[tribpot]

It sounds like classic colic, and to be honest, I could come round and beat your HV about the head with a large fish for suggesting leaving her to cry it out might help. Ultimately there's nothing you can do about colic except ride it out, keep her upright and winded, if she will sleep on your shoulder whilst you have dinner, just do that. Have you tried different holds and things? (This is something dads are great at, btw).

Check out Pewari's Prattle for some brilliant ideas. Of course it's a shame that the episodes coincide with the time that you get to spend with her but hey - welcome to parenting "It's not just the good bits" should be the slogan.

Hope she feels better soon.

[madmarchhare]

At 6 weeks we didnt bother with trying to get into a routine as such.

DS used to stay up with us and have a feed at around 10ish, then bed.

I take it you are having a night feed at some point.


He would wake for his night feed at around 3-4am, then go until breakfast.

That said, all babies are different but I would say a few more cuddles required rather than worrying about routine this early on.

As others have said it could be colic, which apart for cranial osteopathy for some, there is little you can do. On the bright side it should end at around 12 weeks.

[usandourlittlexmascracker]

Are you sure your DD doesn't want to feed?

For the first few weeks my DS fed for HOURS every night! He would doze whilst feeding and I'd think he had finished and try and take him off and then I'd be in BIG trouble! If this turns out to be the case the best thing is to get Mrs Daern comfy on the sofa and you fetch and carry drinks and snacks for her all evening

[WigWamBahhumbug]

If it's not wind or colic, then I wonder if she just needs feeding again? My dd used to cluster feed between 6pm - 10pm every night, which was really draining at the time but which seemed to help her sleep for long periods at night from pretty early.

It might be worth trying.

[DizzyBinterWonderland]

yes i used to be feeding from 6 til 9 come to think of it. just used to get her ready for bed, settle on the sofa with tv on and let her get on with it. you don't need to worry about having a 'decent' bed time at this age.

[Quootiepie]

Second the feeding bit - I sat infront of telly when DS was this young, while he dozed and fed on my lap... or just got into bed and fed there for a good while. Its hard to remember that far back! But at 6 weeks, im 100% sure he was still evening cluster feeding. He still does it occasionally at 8 months aswell.

[daern]

I will ask Mrs Daern to try and feed her again.

ps. She's just dozed off in the baby carrier after a good 90 minutes of solid yelling...at least I have one foolproof weapon in my arsenal

[tribpot]

Whatever it takes, my friend. Whatever it takes. (Obv short of vodka in a bottle).

[daern]

For a healthy baby, DRINK GIN!

[ItsNotOnlyTheGoodBits]

Agree with the feeding points made. Ds has a feed, followed by 10min play, a nappy change, massage (with a strategically placed cotton wool ball! ), 10/15min play (with cotton wool ball firmly in place ), bath and then another longer feed.

He is four months now and at six weeks he had less play time and more feeds.

Oh and the Baby Bjorn type slings are fantastic!

[daern]

Thanks for all of the advice last night. DD went to sleep by around 10pm and had a good night (waking at 12.30, 3am and 5am), going to sleep between feeds.

Yey!

[hayles78]

Have u tried swaddling her? I disagree about the'colic' if shes pretty good bringing up her wind then doesnt sound like thats it. imo too many people dismiss babies cries as colic. if ur into baby books u really should try dr harvey karps book. he recommends swaddling and other techniques for soothing baby and explains the reasons behind it. u can get a special blanket at mothercare called the miracle blanket which makes it easy peasy. have u left it too late for a bath? i do the same thing with my dd but not at a fixed time cause if shes getting towards the end of her 'awake time' she too will get cranky. i also find too much stimulation makes mine cranky at this time too. perhaps try getting dressed after bath with lights low and same with feeding. i had exact same problem on monday - knew she was tired but wouldnt sleep after bath or feed and took a few hours to finally get her down. i think she had been bathed a little too late and overstimulated afterwards with lights and noise as als have much older ds. hope this rambling makes sense am typing one handed with sleeping baby on other arm.

in a nutshell, try swaddling after bath, dr harvey karp book if like reading baby books, lights low, and perhaps have baths earlier so not getting overtired by the time u get her dressed.