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Some reassurance- anyone?

18 replies

DetentionGrrrl · 04/12/2006 04:17

Can someone please reassure me that 'this too will pass'. I am sick of getting up at 4, even 3am. Sick of people asking if he sleeps through, when he still wakes every 2-3 hours. He's 21wks and i've had enough. Starting to feel like sleep is never going to happen for him, or for me again. I want to go to bed.

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psssst · 04/12/2006 04:23

Aww poor you. It will pass. My DS was sleeping through at 8 weeks, but at 8 months he stopped sleeping almost completely and it was hell!!!!

I think some people ask about sleeping just to make conversation. In the meantime you have my sympathies

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Tanni · 04/12/2006 05:42

no sleep sucks, makes you feel mean.

Does he sleep in short cycles day and night or just at night? I found that keeping my DD awake as much as possible during the day meant we both got more sleep at night. Although she is now 2 and was awake at 3 am this morning (shows how much I know!!).

My only other advice is get some help - just one night with someone else doing the getting up will make you feel so much better - you may find you need ear plugs - useful for the accompanying guilt.

good luck

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jabberwocky · 04/12/2006 05:43

Ds1 was a horrible sleeper. I think he will never be a great one for sleeping through but the No-Cry Sllep Solution helped. There is currently a support thread going by that name as well for the chronically sleep deprived.

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belgo · 04/12/2006 06:07

It would be so lovely to have a baby who just started sleeping throught the night by a reasonable age, without us having to do much at all.

But that hasn't happened with either of my babies, despite hopeful expectations with both of them!

My youngest is 14 months and waking every two hours. So I gave her to my dh last night - and I've actually had five hours sleep in a row!

We're very determined, and she will be sleeping through my Christmas!

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belgo · 04/12/2006 06:12

or rather

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mummy2aaron · 04/12/2006 06:30

No help to offer - ds2 age 3.30 and dd 18months and still not sleeping - i have had 3 hours. Although ds1 never slept until age 4 when he started sleeping through.

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belgo · 04/12/2006 06:33

mummy2aaron- it's hard isn't it especially when you're getting up in the night for two children. I've forgotton what it's like to have a full night's sleep - I think I'd be uncapable of sleeping through the night myself now!

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belgo · 04/12/2006 06:35

and as for giving detentionGrrl the reassurance that she's asking for - I think we've failed!

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mummy2aaron · 04/12/2006 06:59

They actually used sleep deprivation as a form of torture in the war. All I can say is that it becomes the norm and easier to deal with as time goes on. Pro Plus are good.

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belgo · 04/12/2006 07:02

Yes, but I wonder what the long term effect on our health is.

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all4girlz · 04/12/2006 07:08

I am the same my dd4 is 18 m and woke up twice last night -the later at 5 .30 and I have not been able to get back to sleep!!!
I have done 2 lots of washing ironed unifrm and am just about to log off to get my other horrors up for break fast.
sorry about the lack of reassurance my dd is still b/f btw

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mummy2aaron · 04/12/2006 07:31

Well i think we are probably shortening our life span tbh. I am at the stage now where I only drive if strictly necessary as I am so tired I don't trust my reactions if an emergency stop is needed. My judgement is of and i am incapable of making rational decisions. DS1 was born 1999, he was just 4 when ds2 was born - luckily he started sleeping at around this time. DS2 fed every 2 hours for the first 6 weeks. He then settled feeding wise but still woke in the night. He was diagnosed autistic at 3 when dd was 6 months. He sleeps until around 4.30am and then is bouncy and up for the day. DD wakes at around 1am as she is scared if she is alone - ds2 is very aggressive towards her and climbs in her cot if i don;t get to him first. Thus both waking and scaring her, she is quite a nervous little girl. Although one day she will improve her sleep pattern - I am afraid ds2 never will. There is no hope lol.

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DetentionGrrrl · 04/12/2006 07:31

Yes, not much reassurance, but thanks for the solidarity! He's not a difficult baby in fairness- he doesn't cry much, and when he does get up at 3 or 4am, it's to play for an hour and then sleeps again for a bit, so i'm not dealing with screaming or anything.

We went back to bed at 4.40, and he slept until 7am, which was nice.

The sad thing is, when i couldn't b/feed him for a few days and he had a bottle at night time, he only woke twice for a few minutes each time. I think part of the key may be totally bottle feeding him.

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cc21 · 04/12/2006 09:20

People constantly ask me if my DD is 'sleeping through yet?' A friend has 6mth old twins who have slept from 8 till 8 since about 10 weeks (she might be lying). She looks at my with such symapathy when I tell her my 15 week old only wakes once/twice. And I thought she was doing well.......
I never thought I'd survive of so little sleep but now find the black rings ubder eyes quite attractive...its the new look for Xmas.

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bakedpotato · 04/12/2006 09:28

this was in the Obs mag yesterday

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belgo · 04/12/2006 10:08

mummy2aaron - that's depressing if you think things will never get much better with your ds.

We've had more then our fair share of sleeping problems, but I've always had the feeling that they are for the most part solvable problems. For us it's just a matter of finding a solution that suits all of us, and that sounds far easier then it is.

I don't ask for help or advice because people's advice is based on what's worked for them and their child, and I get really annoyed that they think that just because something has worked for their child, it should work for mine too. I've had plenty of unasked for advice, which very quickly turns into critism of my parenting skills.

As for the question 'is she sleeping through yet?'
My answer is 'she sleeps very well thank you' said through gritted teeth.

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PorpoiseOnEarth · 04/12/2006 10:26

I read that Observer piece too, BakedPotato.
And I can't recommend Mandy Gurney's advice enough - she is a total genius at getting babies to sleep.
I've seen her do it and seen her help other parents do it.

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DetentionGrrrl · 04/12/2006 10:31

Thanks bakedpotato. Might try that.

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