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4 week old, am I expecting too much?

9 replies

mower · 03/12/2006 09:01

I feel so sleep deprived. DS2 is 4 weeks old and exclusievly breast fed.

Last night he slept from 10-11 then from 1-3 then from 4-6 then 630 and still asleep now. The times inbetween I am trying to settle him to go back to sleep.

I am sure ds1 was sleeping for longer by 4 weeks. I desperately need some sleep as ds1 (14 months) wakes at 7 then it is all go from there.

Am thinking of topping up with formula for night feeds, but am I just expecting too much from a 4 week old?

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WigWamBam · 03/12/2006 09:05

Sleep deprivation is horrible, but I think you are expecting too much from a month old baby. I know it's awful; the first few months are hell on legs, but I really think that it's perfectly normal for a four week old baby. It's probably no consolation at the moment but it will pass.

I'm not sure that topping up with formula would help him to sleep through, babies have tiny, tiny tummies which can only hold a little at a time, whether it be breastmilk or formula. And giving formula at this stage may interfere with your milk supply.

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lornaloo · 03/12/2006 09:18

Is he waking up to feed or just waking up? If he is taking an hour to feed at a time then maybe you should co sleep with him, lie on your side and feed him. That way you can sleep while feeding him and he wont get disturbed as much. If he's nice and snuggled in bed with you and doesn't get moved when he wakes up just gets a boob to feed from, he will proberbly get himself into a better night time routine.
I'm sure he will be sleeping for longer spells soon, bet in the meantime co sleeping will get you more sleep.
I've also heard that you shouldn't let a baby sleep for longer than 4 hours on the trot in the daytime. Try and get some structure during the day and the night will follow naturally.
Try writing a chart of what time he feeds and sleeps and for how long, it will probably be different each day at this age but you can see that for example:
Perhaps he has a nap an hour after waking up, this may not be the same time each day but it will always be about an hour after waking up.
It can really help to see it all written down.

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lornaloo · 03/12/2006 09:20

Sorry thats...but in the meantime...not bet in the meantime...

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moondog · 03/12/2006 09:23

Yes.you are expecting too much (and I speak as one who suffered similarly)

Consider the options..

  1. Bear with it,but make sure the baby is as close as possible to you so that night feeds are as convenient as possible

  2. Catch up on sleep in the day

  3. Express so that someone else can feed the baby occasionally and give you some peace.

    The formula probably wont make a difference (stomach size of a walnut) and if you do give it and it works,the reason is that it is so difficult to digest and sits in that little tummy as heavily as a greasy takeaway might in yours.

    Consider also that if you interfere with the delicate supply/demand b/feeding situation,it may well go tits up and you may find yourself exclusively formula feeding very soon as yuor supply will dwindle.
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lornaloo · 03/12/2006 09:39

Ds had formula aswell as breastmilk. I gave him a bottle of formula when I had thrush on my nipples as it was painful to feed.I found it good that he could have breast and a bottle. That way I could go out and leave him with dp or my mum. It kept me sane and gave me some freedom. He fed so often though that it never effected my milk supply. He could go for weeks and weeks on the just the breast then have lots of formula if I was out for the evening and then be exclusievly breast fed again the next day. I'm not suggesting you give a bottle as I don't think it will make much difference but don't feel guilty if you do feel its all to much and you need a break from time to time.

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TooTickyDoves · 03/12/2006 09:55

I definitely recommend co-sleeping - I've found everybody gets more sleep that way.

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Dottydotthehalls · 03/12/2006 10:13

Going slightly against the grain, but we introduced 1 bottle of formula with both ds's when they were 3 weeks old. Worked with both in that they were fine taking both bottle and breast, and neither dp or I had any problems with our milk supply. Most importantly, it meant whoever was breastfeeding (dp with ds1 and me with ds2) could get a few hours unbroken sleep while the other one gave the bottle during the night. So I have clear memories of dp breast feeding ds1 at 9pm/10pm and then heading to bed while I stayed up and gave the bottle at midnight, or whenever he woke up. I'd then settle him down and dp was ready to feed him at 3am, or whenever - so she could have 5 - 6 hours proper sleep! I'd then feel like I'd done my bit and I could sleep from 1am - 7am!!

The first few weeks are a nightmare and whatever you do you're going to feel exhausted - and I think it's 100 times harder when it's your second and you've got to be up and lively at 7am with a toddler... Good luck and do whatever you think will work and fit in with your life!

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MadamePlatypus · 03/12/2006 12:50

I have noticed a big improvement in DD (breastfed and 5 weeks old) this week - sleep stretches have increased from 3 hours to 5.5 hours, so it might be worth hanging in there for a bit. I have come across other people who have found that sleep improvement occurs closer to 6 weeks, so I don't think its just me. Also, getting my swaddling technique sorted out has really helped.

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mower · 04/12/2006 18:06

Thanks good to thats nice to hear that it may improve soonish.

Think I am getting used to lack of sleep now!

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