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CC - feel awful.

15 replies

lyndyloo · 30/11/2006 20:59

My LO is 5 months and until recently slept OK. She would go to bed at 7, then wake for a BF at 2 am and then 4 am and up at 6. Lately she's been adding at 12 midnight to that and more recently a 9ish! Last couple of days she has gone to bed at 7 but then woken at 8! Everytime she gets a BF. However I am sure at her age she shouldn't need to be fed in the night as much and suspect it is comfort feeding. She is suffering with excema and poss teething so poor mite is not suprisingly disturbed. Also - she is addicted to my boobs it seems!

Anyway - tonight when she woke after an hour - I just let her cry it out. I went in once - was going to go in again but she went off within half an hour. Trouble is I feel terrible! Should I have gone in more? Also worried I may have got it wrong - although she was changed, had had a full BF an hour earlier, had had some calpol for teething/itching as well as her creams. I really don't think I could have done anything else for her. Why do I feel so bad though?

Am I doing the right thing - my first instinct is to comfort her when she cries but she needs her sleep - so do I!

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bandbsmum · 30/11/2006 21:07

I have heard that CC shouldn't be used before 6 months, but not sure if that's true. When I've used it in the past I've increased the times between revisiting. Go in when she 1st wakes, leave, then go back after 5 mins, then 10, then 15 etc. Think you can increase it up to half an hour, but I've never personally felt comfortable leaving more than 15 mins. And it has worked. Once I get to 15 mins, keep leaving it 15 mins until she goes off. HTH

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lyndyloo · 30/11/2006 21:17

I feel worse now! I know it's not your fault but I didn't know cc shouldn't be used before 6 months! TBH - it wasn't really cc - I only went in once but she cried for almost half an hour. I just didn't know what else to do - as I said I tried everything.

I am such a bad mother!

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bandbsmum · 30/11/2006 21:23

You're not a bad mother! Sleep deprivation is worse than anything, and anything that works is worth a try. If you read the thread below, you'll see I'm having my own problems with my dd, who's now 2 and discovered she can climb out of her cot!

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lyndyloo · 30/11/2006 21:25

I know but it's hard not to feel guiltly about just about everything!

I read your thread - I sympathise and see life doesn';t get easier does it?

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LoucheWoman · 30/11/2006 21:26

(supportive cuddle)

she will not hate you

she wont even remember

i dont have all the answers, someone else will tho im sure

but please, dont tie yourself in knots - youre doing your best, and your baby will be FINE

i had 'the sleep book for tired parents' back when this was a thing for me. i found it helped me a lot...

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bandbsmum · 30/11/2006 21:28

It certainly doesn't! Just as you think you've cracked one thing something else goes wrong! She's become increasingly clingy to me recently as well which is not much fun, hardly lets dh do anything for her, which is also frustrating for him.

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CantSleepWontSleep · 30/11/2006 21:30

If it makes you feel better, Ferber (the inventor of cc) says that cc can be used from around 5 months.

He does, however, say to leave 5 mins at first, then 10, then 15, then 20, and on the second night start at 10 mins, then 15, then 20 and so on.

Are you going to use this method each time she wakes tonight, or are you going to feed her as normal? Going from so many bfs to none in one go is prob a bit much, but if you do cc for some of the wakes and not for others then you run the risk of confusing her.

I would carry on as normal for now, and devise a plan of how you will deal with this, and if that involves cc, set a date when you will start.

Remember that she will still have growth spurts where she will genuinely need feeding (although I totally agree that she doesn't need this many feeds every night and that it is a 'learned hunger').

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kiskidee · 30/11/2006 21:40

Ferber is now catching up with the latest sleep research and child mental health research and pushing his boundaries on cc from 6 months to closer a year.

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CantSleepWontSleep · 30/11/2006 21:55

Where did you hear that kiskidee - do you have a link?

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naughtymummy · 30/11/2006 22:28

I am sure that she will be fine. Had a mate who let her dd cry it out at 7 weeks! Since then she's slept through so who knows. But she is a happy little girl very attached to her mamma. One thing i do know is it's harder for the mums than the babes please do n't worry am sureit will be ok. I think the reason not to do it too young is it is a waste of time cos they don't remember

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kiskidee · 30/11/2006 22:30

i read it here:
"We have not needed this practice to survive as a human race in the past, and it is not necessary to our survival now. Currently, very few cultures practice this method, and this also demonstrates its lack of necessity. The Australian Association for Infant Mental Health (AAIMHI) recommends avoiding the use of this method, as it is potentially harmful to infants. If it is to be used then they recommend it to only be used from the age of 3 years. Certainly not suitable for an infant who is only 20 days old. Even one of the original pioneers of this method Dr Ferber has revised his book and states that his method can be used for children between 12 months and 6 years. The AAIMHI also has other important guidelines that they recommend detailing best practice and duty of care, if using this method is seen as absolutely necessary by parents."

at this blogspot scroll down to the entry of Sunday June 18th 2006. It is at the last paragraph.

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CantWaitForTheSnow · 01/12/2006 04:15

I could have posted something similar this aftrnoon Lyndyloo. Its been a horrible day. dd (7 months) was so tired, having not had any sleep since waking at 8am and I knew she needed to sleep. I tried to feed her into a dozy state, then put her down. She wailed for 1 hr. It wasn't a 'cry', more of a fed up grumbly wail.

I felt so bad. I knew she needed to sleep to stop her from being even grumpier. I was at the end of my tether and needed some time away from her.

She wailed in her cot, and I wailed on the sofa .

Don't know how I should have handled it.

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kiskidee · 01/12/2006 07:07

i'd suggest then going for a nap with your baby.
lyndyloo, your baby isn't addicted to your boobs. your baby needs your reassurance, warmth and comfort. breastfeeding fulfills emotional needs as well as physical ones. when a need is fulfilled, it goes away. OK, it needs to be reinforced time and again at this age but they are better off for it as toddlers and grown ups.

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lyndyloo · 01/12/2006 11:10

Thanks for your comments. Feel better this morning. She woke at 2 am, 4 am and then 6 as normal and I fed her. I just want her to drop the 7.30 feed as tbh she has only been in bed a short time and has already fed!

Not sure what I will do tonight if she wakes at 7.30 again.........

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kiskidee · 04/12/2006 23:34

how is it going lyndyloo?

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