9 week old starting to fret before sleep... argh advice please!!!

[lunavix]

Our dd (10 weeks this week) changed as of last Monday. Previously she'd fall asleep either being cuddled, being fed, in her vibraty chair or even if I could tell she was tired and put her in bed awake she'd just fall asleep.

For the last few days, she's needed to be cuddled/jiggled, dummy in mouth, for around 5 - 15 minutes, howling with real tears, until she goes to sleep. I suppose she's now learning to be cuddled/jiggled (although no idea why it started, she was sleeping fine before) but she will sob and sob and scream until this happens. It's like suddenly she's overtired and can't go to sleep. But if you recognise she seems tired, or if you put her down when she should be tired, she'll just cry because she doesn't want to be in bed.

It's getting a bit stressful now, the buggy is failing to pacify her now too. Is it a stage (dh says he remembers ds doing this but I definately don't) and can I solve it? She's still so tiny I'm not comfortable leaving her to cry but our evenings are a little stressful now. She's starting to sob, then rocked to sleep, awakes and sobs, rocked to sleep... until eventually she awakes at 10ish, has a feed, and settles down for the night (and for the most part sleeps through, with no waking or rocking or sobbing - fingers crossed, touch wood, etc! - .)

THe only feed she'll fall asleep at now is the first one in the morning. (she still dozes etc but one eye open and on me!)

Please help...

[taylormama]

hi - my DS got cranky at this age with sleeping (perhaps becoming more aware of the world???) anyway the best way of calming him was a tight swaddle and a suck on a dummy ... a bit of headrubbing also seemed to do the trick too. I always took the dummy away before he went to sleep so he didn't become dependent on it and had a strict nap routine (ie up to room, in cot, blinds shut and saying night night) ,,, now i can put him down to sleep anywhere and he will go to sleep without the swaddle etc ...

[lunavix]

is it just a stage then? I really don't remember this with ds

[taylormama]

Hi Luna - it was a stage with him ... it lasted a few weeks and now it is all fine. He always has a moan before he sleeps - it is his way of letting off steam but he is fine at going to sleep. Perhaps bump this message and a more experienced mama than me may be able to help!

[MsPea]

I have heard somewhere that babies can't learn bad (or good I suppose)habits until 12 weeks. Confused- what does this mean, as presumably they can form associations (eg, 10 wk old dd chills out when placed in suckling position even while my breast is still inside my bra).

[lunavix]

MsPea - I've heard that too but not so sure.

It's really getting stressful, she was so chilled until now. EVERY time she needs sleep, she's now arching her back and screaming. After around 5 - 10 minutes of vigorous bouncing/rocking and a dummy literally held in her mouth, she will go to sleep. No other way. She might start screaming again after 5 minutes, repeat, then again. Eventually she will either sleep or wake entirely up.

The screaming is proper full on hungry baby screeching with red face and tears, but she won't feed off me. She won't fall asleep feeding, in a pushchair, or in the car either. Just being rocked.

I'm tearing my hair out - it's really exhausting! I wouldn't mind but I have no idea what caused it - she was fine before. THe only thing I can think of is I was taking meds for tonsillitus, and wondered if they'd affected her. We can't quite remember if the times coincide.

[reidie]

luna - my DS started to do the exact same thing! he is 10 wks now. he will not sleep at night unless swaddled, he went through a 2 week phase (and is still doing it some nights) of screaming for a few minutes, archeing his back and wouldnt take his dummy. i just had to persivere (sorry for shoking spelling!) i held him tightly and jiggled him a little harder untill he would take his dummy. he would then within a matter of minute chill out and go to sleep! so the point being; i think it was just a phase so stick with it, if they are anything like my DS it will pass. i'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

[nolembit]

Is she hungry? Maybe she is going through a growth spurt and needs some more food before she settles.

[taylormama]

luna - don't want to alarm but back arching can also be a sign of reflux ... can also be a sign of baby who is a bit cross and over-tired ... is LO sick before or after feeds ... does she ever wriggle or writhe around ... just asking as my DS has silent reflux and was diagnosed at 9 weeks.

[marytee]

Hi lunavix

Exactly the same happened with DD, at almost exactly the same time. She would scream and arch her back, especially if i tried to feed her - was convinced something was wrong and took her to GP, but he said she was fine. In the end (with lots of help from people on mumsnet!) i realised that she was overtired. For the first few weeks she would go in and out of sleep on her own when she needed to - then all of a sudden she just stopped being able to do it. I hadn't twigged and missed all her sleep cues. Got it sorted by getting her to nap on the first sign of her being tired-1st or 2nd yawn. Any later and she would just scream and scream. Would put her in sling to get her to sleep, or go for a walk or drive. Luckily only have 1 LO so could just do whatever it took. A few weeks later she found her thumb and again if I was quick enough of the mark she could settle herself to sleep.

HTH. I remember at the time i was spending most of the day getting her back to sleep again - she needed loads. Often 5 naps a day until about 6 months.