5 month old wont go down at night

[Jacobsdad]

Hi

We are having a bit of trouble getting our 5 month old son to go to sleep at night. In the past he has fallen asleep on at his last feed (at around 7pm) and we have been able to put him down without much of a problem - now he has stopped falling asleep on the boob and when we go to lie him down in his cot he screams and screams. We are very uncomfortable with letting him cry it out - it's just not something we feel is right. He has 2 naps in the day which he tends to be fine with, going to sleep awake and with a little help but getting him to do the same at night seems impossible! When he wakes for a feed at night (usually just the one at between 11pm and 3am)he tends to go back down without a fuss.

Any advise on the problem would be really appreciated!

Thanks

[fortyplus]

Stay with him and gently pat him, but don't talk to him or pick him up. Also have a story tape or cd in the background - anything with a soothing voice will do. Richard Briers reading Percy the Park Keeper used to work for mine - only problem was that sometimes I'd fall asleep as well! Stick to the same tape every night - you don't want it to be exciting.

[steveandlibby]

im in the same boat
mine is exactly the same
try starting one solids its working for me
we are doing the whole home puree thing but its up to you she is sleeping better now though
we have been doing it for just over a week

[steveandlibby]

im in the same boat
mine is exactly the same
try starting one solids its working for me
we are doing the whole home puree thing but its up to you she is sleeping better now though
we have been doing it for just over a week

[lulumama]

i would try to avoid weaning ,esp as the small amount of solids he could take at this age would in no way be enough to make a diffrerenece......he might need more milk.....and the milk is much more filling than a spoon of puree......(sorry to disagree SandL)

can leave him to cry for a few minutes and then go back to soothe him...and keep trying that ...controlled crying ,basically.

if he has been used to falling asleep on the breast at that time,,,he needs help learniing to settle alone...where the controlled crying can help

[WriggleJiggle]

I was in exactly the same situation a short while back when dd stopped falling asleep during her last feed. Out of desperation I decided to let her 'cry it out'. Every 5 minutes I picked her up, cuddled and then resettled her. It took 20 minutes of tears (from both of us). Whilst it certainly hasn't been plain sailing, it has made a huge difference. She is so much better now.

When I started solids at 6 months it really upset the sleeping so I'm glad I didn't try both at the same time.

[BikeBug]

I think it sounds like he needs to learn to associate something else with sleeping, other than the boob. Breastmilk stopped being the sedative I had come to know and love for ds (8 months) a while back, and we started a very much more predictable bedtime routine for him. The bf now comes after his bath but before his story and cuddle. I found the best non-boob way to settle him was to lie down on our bed with him and cuddle, back rub, pat, shush and say 'key words' (in our case 'relax' and 'sleepy-tired'). He goes down to sleep within 10 minutes this way and I then either co-sleep or move him to his cot. Now staying asleep that's another matter, but it does help him to go to sleep and you sound like your ds is already good at staying asleep! I'm not comfortable with cc myself, so this is my alternative method.

[Jacobsdad]

Thanks so much eveyone. Just by circumstance we have started him on a small amount of solids today. We shall see the effects (if any).

Thanks again for your support.

[Mummyjoon]

I was in the same situation and it took much convincing from dh to try cc, although i prefer to call in checking.

We found dd only settling to sleep post /during a bf. We started cc last Sunday- 1st attempt for daytime nap- less stressful than starting at night and kept selves occupied with little jobs round house inbetween checking (this helped me not to rush back too early)
Took 1hr 40 mins first time, now 20 mins or no crying. It has only been a week and vast improvements ( sorry not trying to brag, and may go pear shaped now I've said it!!! ) But worth trying- need to be consistent, no picking up but can go in and comfort, say after 5 mins then 10 etc..

It is not easy to listen to them cry but you are teaching lo a good life skill! Good Luck

[littlepiggie]

Are problem was slightly different, he will go down at bed time fine, but started to wake every 2 hours for feeds.
He then stated to cut back on daytime feeds (you get the idea) so once he was on solids and 6 months we have stated cc, we cut night feed down to 2 per night, 11 then whatever time he woke, then none till morning (after 6).
After a week of thin, and him only having a very short feed at about 3 or 4 we have now stoped that one as well.
Dh is the one that goes to him as he will be able to smell me, he sits by his cot with his hand on him just to let him know that he is not on his own, he still cries but it is not as bad. first night was about an hour, now about 5 min.

[Jacobsdad]

Thanks for the replies all.

We have done quite a bit of research into controlled crying and as i mentioned in my first message its not for us. We are by no means "soft" parents who let ds rule our lives (though it does feel like that from time to time!!!)There is though significant research that shows that leaving a baby to cry, especially one of under 6 months can have a psycological effect on them. As one article said "imagine how you would feel if you were left all alone, crying, only to have what you want (i.e a parent) come in, pick you up, put you down again and walk away! Parents are the only comfort a baby has and I dont see how it is a possitive thing. It is just my opinion and I really do appreciate everyones time in suggesting the method but to me it's not teaching a baby to sleep...

[Mummyjoon]

Maybe you could try the NCSS method instead - I am
sure you have already seen their mega-support thread,
plenty of non-cc advice in there and by the sound of it
it does seem to work. Eventually.


I have read through a lof of the anti-cc research, e.g. on this page
bawlingbabies.blogspot.com/2006/06/quotes-from-various-doctors.html,
and my strong impression is that yet again the baby
is in danger of being thrown out with the bathwater!

Of course, simply ignoring baby's cries is not a good idea.
Of course, abandoning baby is simply cruel.

However: switching from one extreme doctrin to another is
hardly the solution. The new extreme postion being:
'Baby must not, never, under no circumstances cry otherwise
Bad Things will happen. Research says so.'

As usual in life a nice middle of the road solution seems
to do the trick: Use all the non-cc methods - create a soothing,
consistent bed-time routine, introduce sleep cues e.g. grobag -
to get lo into right sleeping rhytm. Then start removing the
'crutches' and use cc to signal that 'yes, lo, I know you can
do it all by yourself, no boob/dummy needed.'

In our case, we spent the first three months happily co-sleeping
and breastfeeding in bed. It was wonderful to have the little
squidge in bed with us and we all got a great night's sleep.
At the same time dd learnt the right sleeping pattern - sleep
at night, play during day.

After three months, though, we noticed that dd had become completely
dependent on the boob to fall asleep. In fact, there were occasions
when she was so tired she would conk out, only to wake herself
up 10 seconds later screaming for boob as she clearly felt tricked
into falling asleep without it.
At the same time she also started waking up more and more often
in the night and had to be resettled through a quick bf -
this wasn't a growth spurt, it was just a habit getting badly
out of hand.

By using cc we have taught her within less than 2 weeks that
she is perfectly capable of falling asleep by herself.
Whenever she wakes up in the night we are still ready
to give her a good feed but again we listen out for her cries

• even at the tender age of 4 1/2 months we can tell when

she is hungry or simply trying to resettle herself.

Bit like learning to ride a bike: At first a child can
do with stabilisers but eventually it pays to be daring
and remove them. Despite significant research that indicates
falling off a bike can have psychological effects...


Anyway, long live diversity! Good luck with the ncss, the anti-cc
camp seem to swear by it.
Daddyjoon ( The DH)

[littlepiggie]

I do think you have to think about what will work for that baby, i never wanted to let ds cry to sleep, and when he fell asleep if i went out of the room for 30 seconds after an hour of crying i felt bad.
At about 4 months i realised that he did not want fussing to sleep, as long as he knows it is sleep time he is happy (routine)
We are only doing the cc crying thing in the night as bf to sleep had become a night time only habit, and like i say dh sits by his cot patting his bum or holding his hand.