why are daytime naps so much harder than night?

[amijee]

my 12 week old ds sleeps fairly well at night and goes to sleep quickly after his feeds. However, i am having a lot of probs with his daytime naps - esp lunchtime which i would prefer him to take at least an hour. He falls asleep on me fine but wakes up and cries every time i put him down - the only way he will sleep is if i lie down with him but can't always do this.

Don't feel ready to do any of the crying stuff yet - anyone else experience this?

[littletoadstool]

Hi - my 9 week old is the same - he'll only sleep in the day if I'm holding him or walking him in the pram (which means I can't get anything else done!) The only way I've found is to swaddle him and rock him gently while he's lying down until he falls asleep. It does get him to sleep but he doesn't always stay asleep for an hour though!
I think with me the problem might be the room being too light - he goes down well at night because he knows when its dark it means sleep so maybe blackout curtains might be the answer?

[NAB3]

Blackout blinds are definitely worth the money. Try and have a similar bed time routine for day time naps as the night time ones and 12 weeks is definitely too young to leave to cry imo.

[newmum36]

Hi there, I always used a dummy for daytime naps until I took it away a few weeks ago now and get him used to sleeping at the right times wherever he would go (this could be on the sofa, in the buggy, in the sling). I was worried that by doing this I would create a rod for my own back but carried on since if this was the only way for him to sleep, better to sleep than not to. He's now 15 weeks old and for the last few weeks have started to put him in his cot for a morning nap and he goes down pretty well for 45 mins or so - I don't hear a peep out of him. Afternoons, I usually take him out in his buggy or we're on our way back from somewhere in the car but if we're at home, he's back in his cot. Lunchtime is a different matter. To get him to do a long stint, that usually takes him being in his buggy and me rocking him through his light sleep. Once he gets used to sleeping for a longer period, you can then apparently get them to do it in their cot....
I suppose what I am trying to say is, that I found the nap thing really difficult to begin, but as with everything else, some (I'm sure not all !!) get easier with time I got very frustrated in the early weeks when clearly he was tired but needed a lot of encouragement to sleep....No doubt now he's got easier in that department something else will come along to throw a spanner in the works. Get them to nap with assistance and hopefully they eventually work it out themselves !
Good luck

[NAB3]

Just a thought. Babies will sleep when they need to and if it is such a struggle to get them to nap, maybe they don't need too?

[amijee]

thanks - we have blackout curtains - just gotta put them up! I've thought about the fact he may not be sleepy enough but if he had his way, he would not sleep only an hour all day! And it makes him very grumpy if he's not had enough daytime sleep. Dummy only works if he is moving - either in the pram, car or on me.

[jambot]

Babies tend to grow into daytime naps. My DD was a nightmare daytime napper until she started sleeping through from 6:30 to 6:30 at 12 weeks. From then on things got better until at 4 months, she was sleeping 2 x 2 hours sleeps a day. From then till now (19 months) I've never had a problem.
Although you do get some children that never tend to sleep in the day much, most will improve. Just implement a daytime nap routine, as you do at night. I found DD slept much better when I stopped letting her sleep in her pram, seat, couch etc, and started putting her in her cot with the curtains drawn. She'd sometimes moan for a minute or two but then she'd fall asleep.
Sure things will get better with time and implementation of a routine.

[newmum36]

I agree Jambot with you but re Nab3 message, I also agree that you can't make a baby sleep, but do you not think that some babies just fight sleep and are soooo much nicer when you've helped them get there and they've napped for an hour or so ? Before my ds learnt how to go off all alone, it wouldn't take much to pop his dummy in once he started yawning and grizzling and then get him off. Once he was awake after having a little nap, he would be happy and smiling again (til the next time !!) - so in my case particularly, ds really wanted to sleep but just didn't know how!...I think that helping him nap when he was clearly getting tired and unhappy has also helped him get into his little "napping" routine that he's in now....I may however live to regret that comment when next week he turns into the napping monster.

[fizzbuzz]

I had this, constant grizzling all day, non stop, culminating in desperate visit to doctors where she screamed the surgery down and I couldn't even hear doctor speak . This was at about 11 weeks old, and she had been like that since birth, although has always slept at night.
I got hold of "The Baby Whisperer".This was really helpful in terms of settling them, and keeping them asleep, although I just used that bit and didn't bother with the routines. The four S's was particularly helpful. It took about a week to sort out my dd. She is now 14 weeks old, and has gone from horrid gremlin baby to angel. She still needs settling sometimes, but the shushing and patting from the book were really helpful.

[fizzbuzz]

Also have just remembered, she would always wake up, 30-45 mins after she went down andI used to get her up. This is to do with babies sleep cycles. I learnt to wait outside door and go in and resettle at first whimper, then she would sleep longer.
It took some doing, but she is much much better now. She still wakes up and calls out (no sneaky naps for mummy), but it is getting less and less. Leaving her to settle on her own did not work, she just got more and more worked up. Hope this helps.

[amijee]

thanks - that's great. Yeah - I've heard about waiting for them to wake up and resetle them after 45 mins. I'm keen to do this for his lunchtime nap which I think is the most important.

As from next week - he is on a daytime routine also. (have to wait until he gets over this growth spurt - nights have also been tough in the last few days...16 feeds in the last 24 hrs)

[MsPea]

Fizzbuzz what are the four s's?! dd is 8.5 weeks and will only sleep on me or dh. Hoping this will improve with age- other mums in my mother and baby group have told me it did for them...(am i hijacking? apologies if so).

[dennya]

My dd is 15 weeks and have also found daytime napping a challenge. Appears tired and I take her up and then she screams blue murder. Bring her down, pop her into bouncy chair and promptly falls asleep. Sleeps well at night and like you dont feel ready for cc yet, so will leave it as it is. Although, think I will put up blackout curtain and give that a go.

[fizzbuzz]

HI Mspea
4 s's are swaddle, soothe, shush and stay (I think)ie. Swaddle them because overtired babies move arms and legs around all the time,and also can startle easy which wakes them up.
Soothe means have a wind down time before putting them down, eg cuddles kisses etc I sing to mine (god forbid, which sounds awful but she likes it, although have to switch monitor off to stop rest of house falling apart laughing)and stroke her head which she loves.
Put them down in cot when sleepy but not asleep.
Shush, means making shushy/swishy noises which sound like womb noises. Then pat them like a steady heartbeat rate, and make shushing noises at same time.I also do this in soothing time. This can take a long long time if baby is very tired. But do not get them up!
Finally , stay -this means staying with baby until they fall asleep. This is very boring, especially if it is dark and you can't read or anything. It is recommended you stay for at least 20 mins, as it can take this long for a baby to settle. Now my dd has settled a bit more, I go after about 5 mins, but at first you can gaurantee they will wake up as soon as you leave them!
Hope this helps- it worked wonders with mine! Also you are only meant to get them up at end of nap time and not before even if they have been awake, as this teaches them to nap better.
Best of luck.
Oops nearly forgot, remeber very little babies can only stay awake for 11/2 hours at most. Use that as a guide to napping

[amijee]

glad it worked for you - will give it a go when I have the energy - 20 mins for each nap sounds tiring! Still - if it works...

How long would you give it before saying - no it's not working.

[fizzbuzz]

Apparently should work in 2-3 weeks. I had horrible 3rd day when she was awful, but it did improve. The first day I spent most of it sitting outside her room, waitng to go in and resettle her. Took laptop for company (I know very sad). I also tried not to take her anywhere whilst I was trying to sort it out, so no 10 minute naps in car or pram.
Believe me, when I say she was awful she really really was. Used to dump her on DH as soon as he got home, and I would run away to recover.
I really had to focus on it, and not do anything else, but deal with this.
However I now have RSI from so much patting-one day was patting for about 3 hours on and off, I also did try to stoke her head and pat her tummy at same time, but proved impossible!

[MsPea]

Thanks Fizzbuzz. V interesting...and v useful to know the 1.5 hour thing- have often wondered about that.

Currently am thinking, perhaps I will go with theflow til 12 weeks as I am told that younger than this is too tiny for sleep training. Then I will really focus on it. Sounds like it may need real dedication.

[san2]

Any advice from you nap queens on helping my DS nap longer than 30mins in the day.
If being pushed in pram over lunchtime he does 2 hours or more.
If in cot (gone down with dummy) he wakes after 30mins. At lunchtime it is like he still wants to be asleep so I settle him again - sometimes works, sometimes doesn't.
Is there anything I can do to get him to extend this nap as he is always much happier when he has slept longer
thx

[firststeps]

san2 - my lo had between 3 and 5 30 mins naps til he was weaned - you could set the clock by him and he would wake up on the dot of half an hour!!! think it is to do with building up their fat stores. He did however tend to have a longer sleep at lunchtime (like your lo he was much happier if he got a long sleep in at lunchtime and could get through the afternoon much better) if I topped him up just before his sleep

[clairemow]

I have a 9 week old too, who also finds it hard to sleep beyond the 45 min light sleep - and I do like to try and get him to have one longer nap a day. The only two things I find that help him to sleep longer are a dummy - when I hear him start to cry I go and gently put it in, he sucks and his eyes droop again, and to put him in his car seat rather than lying in the cot. Maybe he just doesn't like lying flat. Am trying to use the dummy only at the moment, as I'm hopeful that once he finds his thumb, he will start to use that instead...

RE. the Baby Whisperer, I also like her tips, but it is totally impossible for me to spend 20 mins to 1/2 an hour settling DS2 into his nap, as DS1 would have destroyed the lounge in the meantime... I do find none of these baby books have many helpful suggestions to use with your second baby... apart from the dummy, as putting that in is v. quick!