Evening sleep problems

[HBO]

Hello! Am totally new to mumsnet so not sure exactly what to do! Needing some ideas/advice for our desperate evening situation! My baby is 4 and half months old. He's doing mostly really well - has good naps in the day and settles well at 10pm and usually sleeps through until 7am so we're really lucky there. Our big problem is the evening time. He's obviously tired, but after a sleep of about 30-45 mins at 7pm, he will wake up and cry, often hysterically, until we pick him up and cuddle him to sleep. Am pretty sure it's not colic as tried just holding him for about 5 evenings in a row and he slept soundly and he also sleeps all evening if we are travelling in the car anywhere. Also have ruled out hunger and don't think it's wind. A couple of times in the past he has managed to get himself into a routine of sleeping in the evenings, but as soon as we spend the evening somewhere else (eg at a friends with him in the travel cot) he goes back to his old routine of crying most of the evening again for a couple of weeks until sleep routine sets in again. Have totally run out of ideas! THANKYOU!!

[PrettyCandles]

Hi and welcome, HBO.

We sleep-trained our first child at about this age, did controlled crying very successfully and it took only a few days. I didn't know then that you're not supposed to do CC before 6m, but OTOH I can't honestly say that ds suffered at all as a result of early CC. Like yours he was sleeping through from about 10-7, though his daytime naps were a bit all over the place.

What sort of naps does your ds have during the day, and how long do you let him cry after his 7pm 'nap' before picking him up?

[HBO]

Hi prettycandles. thanks v much for your reply. He has a morning nap about 45 mins and couple of hours at lunch. Normmally sleeps well and sometimes I have to wake him after lunch. Have tried CC before (also didn't realise then that not supposed to do before 6 mths!) but he can end up hysterical. Unfortunately, due to desperation we veer from one approach one to week (CC when I'm feeling strong!), to another the next cos it is heart breaking to hear him cry!! But neither seems to cracks the problem! Generally leave him about 10-15 mins before picking him up after the initial evening waking.

[PrettyCandles]

Sounds like you're doing all the right things!

Have you tried reading The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg? She has a lot of good suggestions which don't involve CC.

Come to think of it, maybe he's overtired, and could do with another 45m or so in the later afternoon, say 2.5h after he gets up from his big nap. Wonder whether that's worth trying? Certainly IME an overtired baby is far harder to settle at bedtime than a simply tired one. Iknow he seems a bit old for a third nap, but both of mine were still ocassionally having one at that age.

[Plibble]

I know this runs against the idea that babies who sleep well in the day also sleep well at night, but do you think that your baby may just not be tired enough at 7pm?

I had the same thing with my dd (now 4 months) until about a week ago. Evenings were very stressful and I had no time to myself as she would cry from being put in her cot or from waking 45 mins later until 10 and it was relentless. I have basically cut down on her afternoon naps, so she gets very little sleep after 3pm (maybe 5 mins in the pram if we are out). As she went down easily for naps she obviously knew how to settle herself, but at night she didn't seem to want to. Now that she's sleep deprived in the day, she seems glad to get to bed at 7 (and sleeps until at least 9 or 10, when I feed her and she goes back down for the night) and I have time to clean the bathroom .

[HBO]

Hi Plibble. Quite interestering as sounds like your dd was doing the same as my ds. He tends to only have 10 mins or so late pm and that's not everyday but maybe having too much sleep earlier? How much sleep does your dd have before 3pm?