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Are we encouraging her not to sleep thru by giving her a bottle?

34 replies

Moomin · 21/09/2006 23:00

Dd2 is 11 m old and has only slept thru (7.30 -7am) for about 1 week when she was 6m old. We've started leaving a bottle of milk in her cot whe we go to bed in the hope that she will find it and feed herself. usually she cries, we go in, find it for her and she goes back off after drinking it. Therefore one of us is up every night - not for long admittedly - but it's still a broken night.

She eats ok but doesn't have a huge appetite, and because she goes off again after having her milk in the middle of the night I assume it's because she's genuinely hungry. Dh says he thinks she's just 'one of those babies' that never sleeps through, and we just have to lump it til she's grown out of it. Is it our fault she's not going through though, by letting her expect milk in the night? Is it worth trying cc - had a half-hearted attempt a few months back but it kept waking dd1 and as she's now at school I'm loath to disturb her.

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Moomin · 21/09/2006 23:02

should add as well, think she's teething. she's still not got any!!! so she's probably going to get a load at once. If she's going to be waking with them, is it worth trying to get her to sleep through at the moment?

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nearlythree · 21/09/2006 23:06

I would try to wean her off the bottle by giving water instead of milk. If she's thirsty, she'll drink it. Then reduce down the amount.

Btw I would be scared stiff leaving a bottle with such a little one in case they choked, but I know plenty of parents do it.

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nearlythree · 21/09/2006 23:07

Re teething, my dd1 got oads at once and hardly noticed. Until she gets them you won't know if they bothe rhe ror not. I've never done cc, we used rapid return and gradual withdrawl to sort ours out but they were a bit older.

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hermykne · 21/09/2006 23:08

moomin i wouldnt leave the bottle with her, i would pick a specific time for her to have it, ie dream feed, re settle and thats it.
she mightnt grow out of it. what time is bedtime? and what does she drink then? she mightnt be thirsty at all, just wakeful

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sorrell · 21/09/2006 23:11

I think she's hungry at night - the having something to drink and then sleeping seems like a clue. But she shouldn't be! Think you might benefit from feeding her more during the day and maybe watering the milk down gradually to make her hungrier in the day, then start offering water until you know it isn't hunger. Depends on how much it upsets you to be woken.

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Moomin · 21/09/2006 23:18

do you think we should try little meals more often or snacks between meals then? She's still having a bottle between breakfast and lunch and another between lunch and tea. There's only so much food she'll take on board in one go and then she simply won't have any more. we've tried giving her bigger bottles at night so in theroy she really shouldn't be hungry but...! part of me thinks it's habit and part thinks she's genuinely hungry. she goes to bed at about 7.15, wakes anything from 1 to 4 for her bottle then goes off again til about 6.30-7am. Not a peep from her otherwise

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lulusmama · 22/09/2006 10:00

moomin i think she's genuinely hungry - the fact that you don't hear a peep from her otherwise is probably a clue. Its a vicous circle though b/c she's drinking milk in the night she's probably not all that hungry during the day. What is she eating in terms of solids?
I went through the same thing with DS, he only stopped feeding in the night at close to 9 months (1 week shy of 11 months now). I did it by giving him a good feed whenever he woke in the night, but then I counted that feed as his breakfast milk. For breakfast he would only have solids then (toast, fruit, cereal, yoghurt, whatever). At lunchtime he ate more b/c his tummy wasn't full of liquids. I didn't give him any milk in the afternoon either, and he had a big bottle just before bedtime (sometime after his tea). Eventually he started waking later and later in the night for his milk feed, and then one night he miraculously slept through. From that point on I knew he wasn't hungry at night, and a for a few nights we settled him with a cuddle/dummy/water and now he sleeps through pretty much every night.

You could also try what sorrell suggests and gradually dilute her middle of the night feed to make her hungrier during the day.

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Moomin · 22/09/2006 10:13

That's a good suggestion lulusmamma. I think you're probably right about the milk filling her up. We just switched to cow's milk as well so that's more filling than formula anyway. We'll try diluting her middle of the night bottle and giving less milk in her day bottles and upping her food. A big bottle before bed will help top up the amount of milk she actually needs (isn't it about a pint a day at this age?)

It all seems so obvious when someone else points it put to you - I feel really thick for not thinking this through properly! I guess sleep deprivation addles your brain (excuses excuses!) Thanks so much for all help here

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Moomin · 22/09/2006 10:21

...now i need to go and explain the new regime to dh who is sitting in front of the TV glued to the Ryder Cup

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lulusmama · 22/09/2006 14:59

Don't feel thick - its so hard when you're so close to it to take a step back. Me for example, my DS used to sleep well in the afternoon - today it took me an hour and half to get him to sleep 30 minutes!! Its probably sthg really simple, but i was so frustrated I wanted to run from the house screaming. I think he's trying to change his daytime sleep times now he's older, but we're not understanding each other...

Just wanted to ask why you're giving cow's milk, if you don't mind. I thought cow's milk didn't have enough iron and vitamin D for babies under 1 year?
Anyway, let us know how you get on. Good Luck

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Moomin · 23/09/2006 09:10

Couldn't see what difference 1 month would make: she's healthy, no allergies in the family, she has a good healthy diet and I was fed up with the formula! Yes, not exactly spot on 1 year but...

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lulusmama · 24/09/2006 20:39

oh, ok, just wondering! How are you getting on, is your LO sleeping longer at night now?

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Moomin · 02/10/2006 19:09

hiya again. sorry, wasn't meaning to go on in my last post!
have things improved? well, yes and no.... No in that she's still not sleeping through and wakes once a night but she's just cut her first tooth (yes I know she's nearly 1!!!! they'll probably last her til she's 30 now) and she's a bit miserable about that so that isn't really helping matters. However, we have cut down her milk in the day and she seems a bit hungrier at mealtimes but still not eating tonnes (again, new teeth aren't helping I think)... so I don't really know what to do...

When dd1 was between 10 and 13m she started waking every night with her teeth, after sleeping soundly all night from 7 weeks, so I'm kind of thinking dd2 would be waking now anyway (?)

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Moomin · 04/10/2006 21:23

bump

Anyone have any helpful ideas? She goes down on her own with no problems at all so it's not like she needs to be rocked to sleep at any time. She does seem genuinely hungry but she still doesn't seem that interested at mealtimes (not for me or dh anyway - she eats really well for the childminder. is she taking the p*ss?! dd2 that is, not the CM!) She's 1 next week but only 16lbs - is that small? she seems healthy enough.

she's waking at least twice at the moment - once for a bottle and once with her teeth hurting her. we're knackered.

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NastyNemo666 · 04/10/2006 21:26

My DD was waking for a bottle in the night so I changed it to be on my terms and went in and woke her up at 11pm ish to give her a top up feed. She soon decided she didnt like that so slept through.
Ds on the other hand I did the same with and he didnt sleep through till he was 18mths and even now is a night time waker sometimes.

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Mumpbump · 04/10/2006 21:34

How much is she taking in the night? If she gets food during the night, logically she will be less hungry and eat less during the day so she ends up being hungry in the night and the whole thing is a vicious circle. (Noticed this when we gave ds milk in the night when he was a bit ill. Took a while to persuade him he didn't need milk in the night afterwards.) If you can cut down the amount of milk you give her in the night, she should logically be hungrier in the morning, possibly eat more during the day and therefore not need feeding at night. If I were you, I'd give her water instead or, if she is having quite a bit of milk at night, you might want to cut down gradually. Hope that might help...

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Moomin · 04/10/2006 21:35

We did 'dreamfeeds' with her when she was a lot smaller and she still woke up anyway so we left her to sleep. Dh keeps saying that maybe she's just 'one of those babies' who wakes in the night anyway. My friend has just had a baby 4 weeks ago and I heard yesterday that they had 8 hours unbroken sleep the other night. I'm soooooo !!! keep thinking it's payback for when dd1 was a baby - she slept brilliantly

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Moomin · 04/10/2006 21:37

mumpbump - we tried giving her water but she was drinking it and then crying again a few minutes later and wouldn't stop til we gave her milk. She gulps the water down so much she sometimes makes herself a bit sick. We've tried cutting the daytime milk right down but as yet there doesn't seem any improvement during the nights. We give her about 3oz at night. any less than that and she wakes again a bit later still hungry

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Mumpbump · 04/10/2006 21:41

How long did you try giving her water for? It might take her a while to get used to it. The other thing which I did for a short while was to dilute the formula feed with more water. I know they say not to mess around with it, but as long as you keep track of the amount of powder you've given them, I figured it was a way to make them think that they've had milk whilst cutting back on the calorie intake in the night. Alternately, I remember a post where someone cut the milk back by 3oz every 3-4 nights and that worked over time... Gradual change, I guess.

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Mumpbump · 04/10/2006 21:41

Sorry - should have been "cut back by 0.5 oz"!

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Moomin · 04/10/2006 21:47

she's on cow's milk now - although i spose we could dilute that as well. Diluting her formula did work at one point - I remember our HV suggesting it as she was surprised dd2 wasn't sleeping through (at 5 months- if only!). Yes, I think we'll give it a try. Got work tomorrow though so might be a rough night! better go to bed now...

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beaner07 · 04/10/2006 21:50

Moomin, DS was waking for a bottle nearly everynight from about 10mths to 18mths old (after initially sleeping through)- he used to wake around 12.30am/1.00ish.

After plucking up courage to try and sort it out we started to gradually water the night bottle down (1oz at a time) until it was just 1oz formula (he was still on that at the time - wouldn't take to cows milk!!) and the rest water, took just over a week but we did break the habit.

Luckily we didn't have to get to the stage when it was just water or there would of probably been tears but he has been great since then.

I remember that broken night feeling oh to well - hope you get sorted soon.

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Moomin · 04/10/2006 21:55

Ta beaner. I will definitely try diluting it tonight.

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moaningpaper · 04/10/2006 21:56

Moomin mine is the same age and wakes all through the night for feeding (I'm still feeding her)

I'm sure that it's fairly normal at this age if you haven't taken drastic action i.e. sleep training

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Moomin · 04/10/2006 22:01

hiyer moaning! still sleeping in a puddle of milk?

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