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step daughters and sleep someone help

8 replies

natharley11 · 18/08/2014 00:59

I have a 4 year ols step daughter who insists on dp sleeping in her bed and we are shattered.
We only see her every six weeks sue to location but every time she goes sleep fine but within two hours screaming him.
We also have a son three who gets woken and one on the way we need to combat this.
Am I right in thinking that a four year old doesn't really need him in her bed and only way to get through is to refuse and let her scream it out
Any suggestions be fab

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NumTumDeDum · 18/08/2014 01:03

I don't think screaming it out would help. It sounds like anxiety to me. It's hard for children to go between two homes, different routines, different rules. They don't have the same coping mechanisms or understanding of a situation. More reassurance would be better, not adding to her distress. I know it's disruptive for you all, but this happens every six weeks, not every night.

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CeliaBowen · 18/08/2014 01:07

I would never let my nearly 6 year old scream it out, sorry, let alone a 4 year old.

I think she is probably trying to make up for lost time with her daddy, tbh, and it definitely sounds like anxiety to me. Screaming it out would make that worse!

Something more gentle, sticker charts, rewards, etc?

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MrsCakesPrecognition · 18/08/2014 01:11

A clear, simple routine (using elements of her usual routine if possible) then going in when she screams, reassuring her, maybe a quick pat or back rub, no talking, no fun, minimal eye contact, leave. Repeat as often as necessary. Keep it gentle, calm and very boring. Don't give in to getting in her bed. Pretty much the same techniques you would use with your DS.

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MrsCakesPrecognition · 18/08/2014 01:11

A clear, simple routine (using elements of her usual routine if possible) then going in when she screams, reassuring her, maybe a quick pat or back rub, no talking, no fun, minimal eye contact, leave. Repeat as often as necessary. Keep it gentle, calm and very boring. Don't give in to getting in her bed. Pretty much the same techniques you would use with your DS.

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natharley11 · 18/08/2014 01:41

Thanks mrsccakes that what been trying to do. Going in reassuring but putting her back to bed. I don't think its an anxiety thing according to dp she did it long before the split x

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natharley11 · 18/08/2014 07:35

Mrs cakes ur advice worked after a big screaming and being reassured and put back to bed she went to sleep. Everyone slept in their own beds last night . Success xx

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MrsCakesPrecognition · 18/08/2014 08:39

Flowers So pleased you had success.

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natharley11 · 18/08/2014 09:34

Me too will def be trying it again tonight

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