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After all that we're back where we started: 12mo sleep

9 replies

Cbell · 13/08/2014 23:53

My 12mo DS has always been a crap sleeper. We limped throught the first few months by sharing the night (me & DH) co sleeping, bottle-feeding-hugging-pushing in pushchair in middle or night. Anything to get ourselves 2-3 hours solid sleep. It really was hellish.

At 9mo we sleep trained (CC) and although the method has given us the biggest gains it has not been an absolute solution. At best we got him sleeping from 7pm-4am, we'd then take it in turns to get up with him as we couldn't get him back to sleep.

Now three months on and I'm back to feeding him in the night. Sometimes he can take up to two hours to settle.

He can SS at bedtime usually with 20 minutes of crying ( nothing serious) but at night when he wakes he will SCREAM AND SCREAM if I don't bf him- cuddles from DH don't calm him.

I feel so demoralised.i want to be on the path to things getting better but they are getting worse again and I feel like SCREAMING MYSELF. We used the big guns when we used CC and not he just goes mental but all gentle sleep methods seem to lead to MORE WAKE UPS.

Any ideas or sympathy would be appreciated. It would be nice to know we're not the iny ones in this situation.

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mrsvilliers · 14/08/2014 18:51

Does he do this if he sleeps with you? My DS was like this although I never had any succes with CC. We just had him in with us, and moved him to a toddler bed q early (18 months) which really helped. You have my sympathy, it's really hard work, just do whatever is easier and go easy on yourselves.

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Cbell · 14/08/2014 19:42

Co sleeping does not work for us. Every time he moves I wake, pop my boob in his mouth, he feeds forever and I lie there in a sleepless rage: I love the idea of co sleeping but it's not for us.

I'm worried we are just reinforcing bad sleep habits by going to him at night but I hate having to constantly go back to CC. Also I think we are so unsure about the technique we are using we are just confusing the child.

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Umbrellasandladders · 14/08/2014 20:11

Hi Bell,

If it's any consolation, it's the same for me. I've had to do CC three times! Yes three times and it's still not worked for us. So I'm kind of doing a really slow gradual retreat process with some regressions! PM me if you want and I'll explain.

It's slightly better but not really. As depressing as it sounds, I'm almost considering waiting til she can talk and then I can reason with her sort of. I'll be waiting a long time as she's only 11 months.

It's hard hard hard!

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sososotired · 14/08/2014 21:15

We're in the same boat!! Got DS down to one wake up a night was pure bliss 5 hour stretches! I went back to work and it's all tits up! Cc broke my baby he screams bloody murder until he is sick! So we use gentle gradual retreat but not even that works now so we are co-sleeping! I'm hoping when his 25 he'll be sleeping through the night Grin

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EmmaLL25 · 15/08/2014 19:55

Similar here, had spell of down to one or two wake ups at 7 months with gentle sleep training. Now at 15 months it's completely random - could sleep 45 mins, might sleep 5 hrs.

We'd stopped feeding to sleep for a while, back to it after house move/chest infection/endless teething.

Trying to sort it now but not having much joy. We have co slept to get through it all. Thinking of trying to reclaim our bedroom soon. Which will probably just end up with me sleeping on floor of LOs room with him while OH enjoys king size bed!

I try not to think of all the hours ssssh/patting trying to break feed to sleep habit - which is supposed to be holy grail.

Part of me thinks that I should give up doing anything until all teeth come through.

Lots if sympathy, you are not alone!

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EmmaLL25 · 15/08/2014 19:57

sososotired when they're 25 we should all take to phoning at 2am, 4am, 6am just for a chat

'Oh,sorry did I wake you?'

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sososotired · 15/08/2014 20:08

emma I like your thinking! But my child will probably switch the phone off lol!!

I also have that voice in my head saying leave it all until the teeth are through! Just co sleep that way we all sleep :) so might just do that :)

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Cbell · 15/08/2014 20:14

Sympathise with the CC broke my baby idea.

It did certainly help but when we try to go back into the method oh how he screams.

My in-laws are staying tonight and after leaving him for 10 minutes I am back to BF. maybe shouldn't do thinks you're ashamed of in public is a lesson to learn.

I'd live to cosleep but it doesn't work for us. Really think we need to back off for a while and try GR in a few months.

Certainly up for terrorising him with nigh calls when he's 25 and if he turns the phone off I can always pop round!

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sososotired · 15/08/2014 20:47

Cbell can you pop a bra on so he can't get your boob at night?
I did crack Not feeding to sleep don't know if you could give that a try? I juggled bedtime routine a tad! We did bottle (I couldn't bf) bath then story cuddle and dummy to sleep! But I know it's a whole different ball game when you breast feed!

Sorry not much wisdom from my side Confused but sympathy I don't think people who's babies sleep truly know how crap it is to be at work all day and awake with an adorable sleep depriver at night!

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