Twins, first night alone with them -any advice?! PLEASE?!

[Treecreeper]

My baby twin girls were born 11 weeks premature. We finally got them home out of the SCBU about 3 weeks ago. We have had three lovely weeks at home and my hubby has had the time off with us. The girls (who will be 3 months old on Sunday) have on the whole been very good. Both are a bit colicky at night, and twin2 is still on oxygen, we have coped very well, but have been sharing doing everything. We discovered infacol and back rubs are the way forward.

Sunday night my hubby goes back to work. He works in London and is away 5 nights out of 10, so I am home alone with the girls. I am totally petrified. We have managed to get into a nice routine of bath bottle and bed, however it takes about an hour and a half to do the whole routine and get one girl down. On my own this means that I could potentially have one baby bathed fed and in bed, and another one blue in the face from screaming for all that time while I deal with one...and that doesn't include the first baby not settling first time I put her down. I really don't know what to do or how to deal with both at the same time and get them to bed happily. I don't even have anyone who can come over and help with bed time.

Any advice? Please?!

[Slutbucket]

Babies on a cushion or propped up on pillows and double feed them or..... feed one half and then thr other one half. Don't do baths every day. Have you got anybody who can help? Can you afford a mothers help?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Don't have twins sorry but didn't want you to go unanswered. Hopefully someone will be along soon

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Xposted with slut. Love the name slut

[whatadrain]

Yes to everything slut said. I swore by swingy chairs when I was on my own with my DTs. Worked a charm at getting them off to sleep when they were colicky. Are they on reflux meds?

[picnicbasketcase]

Babies really don't need a bath every night. They won't be that fixed into a routine at that age, it won't matter to skip it and save time.

[poorbuthappy]

Accept the fact you have 1 pair of hands and that no child ever came to harm waiting for their mum to finish dealing with their twin.
You will be fine. You will probably cry once the first bedtime is over and done with through sheer exhilaration that all 3 of you are alive.
I remember the first time I put all 3 of mine to bed on my own. DD1 was 4, twins were about 3 months.

I cried a lot. Probably more than they did.

Best of luck.

[Treecreeper]

I've got a big swing that we were given so I could try that out. I had not thought of trying to feed both at the same time? We have boppy pillows that we put them in sometimes, I might try doing that tomorrow while hubby is still here. Does it not make them mure fussy if you stop feeds half way through to feed the other and then come back to the original?

Someone I know with twins said that starting doing the bath bottle bed routine gets them set up very early on into a set pattern which would help in the long run. Are we better to just do what is best and easiest each night and hope that they adapt?

It's such a massive learning curve isn't it? You just don't know what to do for the best!

Xxx

[beccajoh]

By all means have a bedtime routine but it doesn't have to include a bath. I've only ever had singleton pregnancies but have never included a bath as a must-have part of the routine. That just sounds stressful with twins plus if they're teeny tiny it might just be too much stimulation at a time of day when they're already tired. I'd just go for a quiet getting ready for bed in a darkened room.

Good luck!

[captainproton]

I don't have twins but have 2 with a 14 month gap. I never did baths alone in the evening. I did them when one was napping in the day and the other was awake. I probably did about 2-3 a week. I coped by having cheap baby bouncer seats in the bathroom, lounge, bedroom etc. I got them from argos. They were my spare pair of hands, I could strap the little one in there knowing he was safe if I suddenly had to do something with the other one. I bought 2 of everything, always made sure I had plety of nappies/wipes/milk/sudocreme in the house and always on both levels, so I didnt have to lug both up and down stairs.

[captainproton]

I also found that after a while you develop your own routine that suits you and your children, and wasn't written by an expert in some parenting book or other.

[BearFeet]

My dts are 3.5 now.

My tips would be not a bath every night
Get them ready for bed up to and hour before it's time so your not changing nappy and babygro when they're screaming with tiredness
Feed them both at the same time. Sit in the middle of your sofa with a pillow on your lap. Both heads on the pillow with their feet going out to the arms of the sofa.

You might have one twin that ready for bed at 6 and one that's not tired until 7. Take their cues. We always put muslin squares near their faces and they loved holding them to sleep. You never lose them and always have one handy
Don't beat yourself up if you use a dummy. One dt loved it one didn't. Perfect as bides you some time.

[stirrupleathers]

Hi I could've written this post 8 years ago I was terrified the first time alone with my two. Born at 33 weeks v colicky. I used to try and feed at the sane time. I used to sit with my back against the sofa with a baby in its bouncy chair on either side a bottle in each hand. Not v easy I'm afraid. I also used an electric swing the best thing I ever bought. One twin would sit in the swing while I dealt with the other. I also used to feed my little girl in my arms and prop the bottle up in my son's bouncy chair with loads of Muslins. The health visitor was horrified but it worked for me!! When bathing the twins I used to keep one twin in a bouncy chair on the floor of the bathroom whilst I bathed the other then swapped them round. It's a never ending cycle of juggling and crying!! I was the one crying ha ha!!!

[Methenyouplus4]

Just to say I'm expecting twins soon and our youngest dc will only be 18 months. When we talked about routine, we plan to top and tail before bed but not bath-too much effort. I can't say anything as an expert as mine aren't here but, having had two others, I'd say think ahead with what you'd be happy doing in longer term e. G. Was happy to offer dummy when young (up to six months) as was easy to pop back in while they were in our room . however, we never rocked/ cuddled to sleep / used swing as firstly there's the awful part of getting them from one place to another while still asleep, but also was a habit we knew we would go crazy doing all the time. So, as much as you need to do what you can to get by now, don't totally disregard that you may be forming a habit. Best of luck.

[Treecreeper]

Thank you.

I've discussed the bath time thing with hubby who has agreed we should Vito it on the nights he is away and then bath them when he is at home, that will make things better I am sure.

Going to try feeding them both together myself tomorrow night. We have some boppy pillows which they love sitting in, so hopefully they will take to being fed in them as well as just sitting in them watching the world go by. Thank you everyone. Wish me luck!!! xxxx

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Let us know how you get on Tree

[Slutbucket]

Babies on a cushion or propped up on pillows and double feed them or..... feed one half and then the other one half. Don't do baths every day. I got mine to lay on my bed so I could cuddle them both. Have you got anybody who can help? Can you afford a mothers help?

[dancemom]

www.tesco.com/direct/beaba-transatdo-baby-bath-support-mint-green/533-4869.prd?pageLevel=&skuId=533-4869

Bath supports to help bathing together?

[Heels99]

Only do bath on days dh is there. Use bouncing chairs for feeding you sit on floor between, I used to rest arms on feeding cushion whilst bottle feeding. I had someone help me a few evenings per week, local babysitter. Also get student from local nursery nursing college onplacement. Good luck

[Slutbucket]

Babies on a cushion or propped up on pillows and double feed them or..... feed one half and then the other one half. Don't do baths every day. I got mine to lay on my bed so I could cuddle them both. Have you got anybody who can help? Can you afford a mothers help?

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Fingers crossed for tonight Tree

[Treecreeper]

Oh my word!!

Well we did it! We had a lovely day, T2 waking first, feeding, settling, then T1 would wake and we did the same! All perfect until about 7pm when T1 woke up early and just would not settle.

Did nappy, offered a top up feed in case she was hungry, put her in the swing - nothing! Eventually she fell back to sleep about half an hour before T2 woke up. Gave her a top and tail, clean baby grow, fed, settled and took her to bed. Popped the monitor on came back down started same routine with T1 who was now awake again and screaming. T2 then started screaming, had to turn the monitor down as her cries were upsetting T1. Managed to get T1 fed and up to bed. T2 had screamed herself to sleep. We all went to bed about 11. T2 then woke up at 0030. Took until 2am to feed and settle her, go so flustered I forgot to turn on her oxygen (T2 is still on nasal oxygen after her early start to life), only realised as she drifted off and I went to unplug as we switched rooms. Felt like the worst mother ever, but she didn't seem too worried. T1 woke up at 4, fed her, just as she was settling T2 woke up again demanding more milk! Fed her again. Popped both back to bed about 0530. We all woke up about 0930 this morning.

I'm shattered! I have a new found admiration for all those single mommies and daddies out there who do this alone every night. I only have to do it 5 nights out of 10 and it's daunting enough. I think my friend is popping round tonight to help settle one to bed while I deal with the other. I really hope it gets easier. I was petrified all night of them crying, feels horrible like I'm doing something terrible to them. Plus I'm scared of the neighbours hearing them scream and them all thinking I can't cope .

Thank you for all your advice xxxxx

[Heels99]

Huge respects for you, the nights are a killer with twins, doing it on your own 5 nights out of 10 is very hard work. Well done you but do get some help if you can!

[HappyAsASandboy]

Well done for surviving the first night

My advice (my twins are now three, and I did bedtime/through the night on my own most nights from the end of two weeks paternity) is to all stay in the same room. You said at one point you took one baby up to bed and then went back to the other one - I would keep you all together. Then if they're both awake, you can be singing/chatting/soothing both even when you're primarily dealing with one.

My twins sleep like logs now. Very little wakes them. I put this down to them always going to sleep in an 'active' room, as I was pottering or feeding the other baby or something whenever they went to sleep. On the other hand, I know several babies who must have a dark, silent, room to sleep in (no sleeping on a sofa or in a buggy for them!); they were all put to bed with a routine and a dark, silent, room from the start. I know who has it easier when it comes to staying away from home or long days out, as my two will sleep anywhere!

Good luck tonight :)

[Treecreeper]

Thank you

I think from being in the hospital for the first two months of their little lives they have not really learnt what night and day is.

I was told by a friend who also had a neonate baby to try and keep them in a nice busy bright active room in the day ( I did the hovering this morning while they were both asleep) and at night to put them in a quiet darkened room so they start to learn the difference between night and day. I did find it horrible though keep running from one to the other.

Tonight I had my friend come over to help. Oh it was like a dream! I even managed to eat my tea while it was hot!! I am sure it will get better, I have to keep reminding myself we have only has them home 3 weeks, so they are still learning who we are and adjusting to their new home.
Daddy's shift finishes at 11 tonight so he should be home in the early hours, possibly when we are all up having a feed, so hopefully tonight won't be as scary!!

Thank you for all your advice and support xxxx