4 month old - how do you manage daytime naps?

[Writerwannabe83]

I have a 4 month old baby and his daytime naps are totally hit and miss.

Some days he will practically sleep all day, other days he will be awake all morning but sleep 3-5 hours in the afternoon and other days he will just have a few 1/2 cat naps which seem pointless.

My question is this : where do you put your baby for their daytime naps and how do you encourage sleep?

My DS looked a bit tired at 11.30am so I gave him a nice feed and then put him in the Moses Basket which is in the living room. He didn't cry or scream, but just flailed his arms and legs around whilst laughing and chortling. However, 45 minutes later he is still doing the exact same thing.

At what point am I supposed to take him out and accept that he just isn't going to sleep?

In the end, after an hour of him being awake in his Moses basket and still giggling away to himself I just took him out.

Should I be putting him in his Crib in the bedroom and leaving him there in a dark and quiet room to sleep instead? But if so, would that not affect his ability to differentiate night from day?

Some and DH are getting a bit stressed by his sleeping routines (day and night) and am just interested in other people's experiences.

He just never, ever seems tired. On many, many occasions he can happily be awake for the entire day without having a sleep or even a small nap.

[QuietNinjaTardis]

I am not an expert but I thought at 4 months they can only be awake for a couple of hours before getting tired? Is it possible that you're missing his sleepy cues so he's getting overtired and then won't sleep? Does he seem upset or is e always happy? If he's happy then maybe he doesn't need much sleep but to be awake all day can't be good for a tiny baby.
I've had a blackout blind in my dds room since she was little. She seems to know the difference between night and day and my son did when he was a baby. Think after 3 months they tart getting the hang of it.

[IpsyUpsyDaisyDo]

I found that putting DD in the pram (fully flat & shaded) and going out for a walk at nap times sent her off to sleep much better than putting her in her cot, even in a darkened room (and she's a Gina Ford baby ). Once she was off I would either continue the walk or go back home and leave her to sleep in the pram.
Seeming to be never tired can be a sign he's overtired, which makes self-settling harder for him to learn. But this hot weather is probably not helping either! At four months he shouldn't be awake for the whole day.

Incidentally, DD was well out of the Moses basket by 4 months, maybe your DS isn't very comfortable in the basket any more?

[Writerwannabe83]

He is an extremely happy baby - he will spend his day just playing, smiling, laughing.

If he looks tired or I think enough time has passed that he needs a nap I either put him in his Moses Basket or take him for a walk but success rate is very, very low. Sometimes I have to walk him in his push chair for up to an hour before he goes to sleep and then as soon as I get back in the house he is wide awake again.

I'm doing everything I can think of but what can I do if he just won't sleep? In the day I feed him to see if he'll feed to sleep, I'll stand up and rock him for ages, I will hum lullabies to him etc but nothing works.

Ironically, after 60 minutes of lying awake in his Moses Basket singing to himself, after 10 minutes of me putting him on his play mat he has fallen asleep. I just don't get it.

[IpsyUpsyDaisyDo]

gotta love babies!

[Writerwannabe83]

That made me smile actually Ipsy
They're little sods at times aren't they?!

[susiebee46]

My baby is the same age as yours writer and have found he's become really "busy" and distractable over the last few weeks. Mine used to nap really well in his buggy but now pretty much had to go in his cot where it's pretty boring. I wonder if it would help if you put your baby in his cot away from all the action??
Not sure if you should listen to me though, mine wakes every hour and a half all night and is so distracted in the day he won't eat. Babies, definitely little sods

[IpsyUpsyDaisyDo]

They do progress rapidly through phases, just as you think you've got things sorted, teething / growth spurt / etc. kicks in and off they go on a different tack

I found that a set structure and routine to the day really helped, especially with getting DD to nap when she (and I) hadn't realised how tired she'd got. We used Gina Ford's routines, but there are different ones that help structure the day. I found it educated me in picking up hunger / tiredness cues.

[fledermaus]

Are you putting him down soon enough, e.g. no more than 90 minutes/2 hours after waking in the morning? The longer you keep them awake the more difficult they can find it to sleep at this age.

[Writerwannabe83]

To be honest fledermaus - I don't do that If he seems really awake I just think to myself, "If he's not tired what is the point in putting him in his basket/crib"

I put him in his basket earlier when he looked tired but an hour later he was still wide awake. How long am I supposed to leave it before I accept he won't sleep and take him out?

[fledermaus]

Are you expecting him to self-settle as well, or are you helping him get to sleep?

I would start the day at 7am, and then feed/rock/dummy/sling to sleep at 8.30am latest. Then no more than 2 hours awake time after that before trying to get him back to sleep.

Get a good nap routine in place first however you can, forget about any worries with "negative sleep associations" or whatever. If you have to hold him for naps or go to bed with him then do that. Once he is sleeping well and regularly, then you can start teaching him to fall asleep by himself. Most young babies still need help.

[Rachel153]

I'm interested in this topic too. My 4.5 month old is a terrible catnapper with the occasional 2-2.5hr nap once in a blue moon. I have tried everything to get her to settle in her cot even putting her in it when I think it's a bit early for a nap, but she'll be happy there for a while but then the whinging starts and turns to crying and although I try for ages to settle her she just cries more and more. So I may have put her down happy and before she's too tired but after an hour of crying and failing to settle her she's prob overtired. No idea what the solution is?!

[fledermaus]

Rachel have you tried rocking her until she is almost asleep, and then when you put her down put her on her side and pat her bottom firmly (so her head jiggles a bit!) and shush past her ear until she is fully asleep. You can then gradually reduce the amount of shushing and patting you do.

[MrsHerculePoirot]

writer you have made me breathe a sigh of relief! My 16 week old is exactly the same - some days sleeps for hours and others catnaps. I am sure my daughter was a bit more regular at this age so a relief to know it idn't just mine! I am blaming the weather and repeating the mantra the this will pass!!!

[smokeandfluff]

Writer-at that age ds had no tired signs, I used to clock watch and put him down after around 1.5-2 hours of wakefulness. He needed to be rocked to sleep in the pram. Bedtime was normally around 8-9pm. At around 5-6 months he fell into a 7-7 routine with naps at 9, 1 and 4.

[mrsmugoo]

Hi Writer :)

Our babies are about the same age. Mine is an arch catnapper - I would love him to sleep longer than 45 minutes at a time (often it's only 30 mins)

As he's got older and his wake time has extended I struggle to get him to sleep his optimal 4 times in the day so I have to stretch him out with 3 naps and essentially reverse engineer the day so he wakes from his last nap around 4:30-5.

Ideal day would look something like this
Wake up 7:45
Nap 10-10:45
Nap 1-1:45
Nap 4-4:45
Bath 7
Bed 7:30

But often he can't quite last that long between naps or we wake up for the day earlier and then we have do forced 4th nap in the pushchair.

At home nap time routine is
Nappy change
Into dark bedroom & lay on double bed
Play with one quiet toy e.g sophie giraffe for 5-10 mins
White noise on
Grobag on
Close door

I check he's fallen asleep on the monitor. Usually takes less than 5 minutes.

For pushchair naps I use a snooze shade - sends DS off in minutes!

[Writerwannabe83]

I'm officially jealous

I think my problem is that DH is always interrupting the routines I'm trying to set. It makes things so much harder. DH is a teacher, so off for the summer and I'm worried the whole 6 weeks are going to be a nightmare. I think DH thinks I'm being precious when I talk about routines and the need for regular naps and not wanting him out late. A few days ago DH said he was popping out for a walk and would take DS with him, it was about 6pm, so fine. He didn't come home until 20.30pm!!! He knows bedtime starts at 8pm at the latest

[fledermaus]

Mine is similar to yours mrsmugoo. She was only sleeping 45 minutes at a time til quite recently so the day went:
up at 7am
nap 8.30-9.15
nap 11-11.45
nap 1.30-2.15
nap 4.30-5.15
bed about 7.30pm

She's now started regularly sleeping longer so has 3 naps a day
up at 7am
nap 8.30-9.30 (or sometimes 8.30-10)
nap 11.30/12-1.30
nap 3/3.30 - 4ish
bed at 7pm

[MrsHerculePoirot]

writer please don't worry too much about it now. It is hard first time as ?ou are used to having evenings to yourselves. I look back at my emails from DD. and used to drive myself crazy trying to get her into a bedtime and napping routine. Essentially I spent hours in her bedroom in the evening for weeks and weeks. In hindsight , she just eventually fell into the bedtime thing herself. DS I just wait until he is tired, really tired tbh, and it is after 6 pm (can be anywhere from here until 9 pm really) and then I take him upstairs, change nappy, grobag on (if not too hot), feed if he wants feeding or hold him until he is asleep in room and then put him down. He usually wakes a little going down so sometimes I pick up and repeat. In 6 weeks time he'll be a different baby and things tend to fall into place. I am glad with DD that we never had any routine particulary during the day, only bedtime, as it meant we were really flexible about going out in the day, not tied to nap times etc... Of course different things work for different parents and babies! Enjoy the long evenings, if he is happy go with it I reckon!

[MrsHerculePoirot]

Ps I find winding when asleep best if I lay him on his back on my lap, then slowly raise up to sitting and repeat a few times, jiggling in my knee (with him sitting), or on my shoulder with his legs sort of pulled down straight as possible! I make sure he burps before going down, else my evening is doomed further!!!!!

[IpsyUpsyDaisyDo]

OP, if you do want to implement more of a routine to your day then you will need your OH on board - it may be the baby's routine but, certainly for a good few months, it will need to be everyone's routine. My personal experience was that the routine approach worked really well, DD got her daytime sleep, didn't get overtired and self-settles very well. But it didn't just happen and only you know if it's an approach that could work with you, your OH and how you live life.

I would also try him out in a cot as he may find the thicker mattress and more space more comfortable.

[Trinpy]

My ds is almost 16 weeks. I clock watch and if it's been around 2hrs since he woke up from his last nap then I put him down to sleep. I also look out for signs of tiredness (eye rubbing, yawning, grumpiness) and put him down for nap as soon as I see them.

To get him to sleep during the day I put him on a mat on the floor, sometimes give him a dummy if he's a bit excitable, and gently rub his tummy from side to side until he falls into light sleep, then leave my hand on his tummy until he's in deep sleep. Works beautifully.

We have a set bedtime routine but we adapt it depending on how the day's going. I don't think baby's need more than a gentle routine at this age so I wouldn't worry about bedtime being half an hour later now and again (though this is based on my ds, does yours get really unsettled by a change in routine?). Your dh should be working with you though. I got my dh to stick with the routine by telling him that if he wanted to keep the baby up playing then he would be the one trying to settle him when he gets overtired. Also worked beautifully!

I hope some of all this works for you.

[Trinpy]

babies not baby's...

[Writerwannabe83]

What happens if you are out and about with baby and can't put them down for a nap 2 hours after they woke up? Do you find this causes problems for the rest of the day?

[IpsyUpsyDaisyDo]

I got DD used to having naps in her pram - carrycot when she was very little, then buggy lying flat. If he's happy doing that then it's great because it makes you a bit more flexible with going out & about. I used to organise my day around nap-times, so I'd be walking with the pram at the time she needed to nod off & the motion would help her to do that. She's 2 now & if she's a bit too hyper for her lunchtime nap I take her out for a walk in the buggy & she drops off in minutes
Our routines were pretty regimented, but I got out and about a lot by using the pram for naps.

[MrsHerculePoirot]

For me it doesn't seem to make much difference - obvs mine is number two so completely impossible to work my day around naps as I have to mostly work my day around my 4.5 year old! If we are out and about and moving he tends to just fall asleep in buggy or car seat. If not moving I out him in buggy and just push for a few mins or rock him to sleep on me. If we are out somewhere really noisy where neither if he above is possible he just stays awake longer and either just conks out on me at about three hours later or waits until we leave. It doesn't make any difference to him for the evening tbh. I also find the bouncy chair useful for naps some days if he won't go in his cot!