Has annyone got any advise...

[jerikaka]

My 7 and a half month old ds slept through the night from 8 weeks, however after a illness, the hot weather and teething he has turned into a nightmare sleeper. I am breastfeeding him. I feed him at 10pm, then he can wake anything between one and four times a night. I was demand feeding him through the illness and hot weather, but have stopped that for about the past three weeks, and either offered him water, or just picked him up and put him down again. It doesn't seem to be stopping the night wakings though, and once he wakes he will usually wake every hour until I feed him. Last night he woke at 2.30, 3.30, 4.30. I eventually fed him at 5.30 and then he slept til 7. I really need him to start going longer as my body isn't coping with the lack of sleep. He is eating three meals. Please has anyone got any advise or experience of this? Thanks

[albatros]

Sorry I haven't any advice but am bumping for you

[jerikaka]

Forgot to say, he goes down in his cot awake 99% of the time, so can't think that he has wrong sleep associations. He also has structured nap times during the day.

[dazzlincaz]

Jerikaka - sounds like your ds's illness has unsettled his pattern. Or maybe it's a growth spurt - easier to make up for lost time in the night when he has you all to himself and free from daytime distractions? At this age he is growing enormously fast in lots of ways, and his desire for night feeds is probably physical and emotional.

Does he sleep in the same room as you? Is is a problem to you to try nursing him straight away when he starts to rouse?

As he was in such a neat pattern before, you probably wish he would just go back to that.........in the meantime, just try to get as much sleep and rest as you can by making life easy for yourself.

Do you know any other breastfeeding mothers for support in your area?

[jerikaka]

I only go into him for a couple of seconds to make sure he is ok and then leave the room. I maybe pick him up if he is distressed. He only cries for a little while and then goes back to sleep, so I can't think that he is doing it for attention, but maybe I'm wrong?
He doesn't sleep in the same room, he sleeps right next door though and I can hear him quite easily. I am not coping as I have a three year old as well, who has mild special needs and I have real difficulty getting through the day when I haven't had enough sleep.
Most of my friends have breastfed who live round here, and I have a friend who's a doula who is very supportive. I just need to know that things are going to get better, as I am slowly loosing my sanity!! My doc has prescibed me some anti depressants, but I don't think they are going to make any of us sleep any better, and I am just going to feel like a zombie on them.

[katyjo]

I can sympathise, my son did exactly the same thing after we went on holiday, I had been feeding him more often because of the heat and he was unsettled at night because he was in a different environment. All I can say is he is now sleeping through the night again, your son has the ability to sleep through, he has done it before and will again. I thought I had messed my son's sleeping up for life - you haven't!! It may be that although he has recovered from illness he is still building up his strength again, or maybe he no longer needs so much sleep during the day. If my ds goes out of pattern I try to keep him up a little big longer in the morning, and cut back on his morning nap, it seems to help. I also try give him his main meal at lunch (sweet potato) then something nice and light in the evening (fruit), I read somewhere that difficult to digest foods at night can stop them sleeping. Stick in there, it will sort it's self out!!

[jerikaka]

He does seem to have a sensitive stomach. Gluten makes him really unsettled. Do you know what other foods are classed as difficult to digest? I do try to give him as much food and milk that he wants in the hope that he won't be hungry. I think i just feel upset that I tried everything not to have the sleep problems that I had with my first son, and now seem to have even worse ones. I have never rocked him to sleep, never given him any props, I thought it would be easier second time round! :-)

[99redballoons]

Hi jerikaka, I find going into my dd(9mo) can sometimes make it worse so I really have to listen to her cry to make sure it's not just a grizzle or if it's 'serious'. It's amazing how once you hear a 'real' cry you realise that the other cry is just a 'I miss you' cry. If you didn't feed him before in the night and you're sure he's getting enough in the day then try not to go back to night feeds. I set myself a time, 5:30am, and if my dd woke before then no milk was given. It's so hard. No straightforward answer! I'm sure someone will have better advice!

[Mum2FunkyDude]

I agree wit 99Balloons, are you maybe responding too soon to his stirring? He might be able to settle himself. Has he had any other significant milestones lately? Myabe crawling, pulling up etc.?

[dazzlincaz]

Hi Jerikaka - it must be really hard after your ds was sleeping through for him to be like this now It often seems that achieving milestones and an increase in nursing needs go hand in hand, as Mum2FunkyDude suggests - it is normal behaviour. As you have discovered he tends to have a sensitive stomach, maybe he cannot cope with eating enough in the day time to tide him over till morning - it would just make him feel bloated. Do you go to bed the same time as you put him down in his cot? If not, maybe try nursing him one more time before you go to bed? Would it help to feed him lying down (so you are at least resting more - you have a lot of demands in your life and need your sleep and rest too?) Can your dh get up to check on the baby for you and bring him in to you if he won't settle because he needs a feed?

Do you have other help in the day with your older son so you have an opportunity to put your feet up at some point? Things can seem really overwhelming on times, and some help and understanding from those around you can make all the difference. Does your dh appreciate how exhausted you are feeling at the moment? Thinking of you.

[jerikaka]

Thanks for all your responses. I think I maybe do respond to him a bit more often than I should, something to work on I think. Yes, he has just started crawling forwards. I didn't realise that milestones and increase in feeding could go hand in hand. I hope things get a bit calmer now. It's been two months of one thing after another and I am shattered.
As for support, my HV comes every other week, or more often if I want, which is fantastic. My ds1 has been under the pead for about a year now, as he is really sensitive to noise. He looses the plot when ds2 makes any noise, so the HV has been seeing us regularly to make sure we are all coping. We live about 50 miles away from family though, so it's hard to go and see them as I don't like driving when I am that tired. I would really love to live close to them, but it's not very practical at the moment. My dh has been quite supportive. I think he finds it hard to understand my mood at the moment. He has offered to get up with ds2 tonight, so we'll see how that goes.
DS2 goes to bed at 7pm, and I feed him at 10pm before we go to bed. As with 99redballoons I try not to feed before 5.30 as I think he should be able to go that long, but when he's been awake every hour since midnight I will often do anything to get some more sleep! And yes, I do feed lying down, it does help to save some energy. Thanks for all your suggestions though, it's much appreciated to know that other people have felt the same, and that it does get better.

[BabyTed]

My son is going through the same thing. He was sleeping through from 11 weeks but started waking up about 5 weeks ago in the night. Some weeks he can wake 6 or 7 times and the other night he woke every 45 mins from about 11pm til 6am, when I finally got up. In his case its not hunger - I have tried offering him a bottle but he is not interested. My health visitor said that it was to do with his sleep cycle. Every 45 mins he was going into a lighter sleep and waking up.

I know how knackering and frustrating it is. I think its worse because you know they can sleep through, they just aren't.

My baby has started to sleep much better during the night now and is waking up much less. He still stirs but we have to go into him much less. I put him into a bit of a routine (based on EASY Baby whisperer) during the day and this seems to have helped with the nights a bit.

I know this is not much help but things really will get better in time.

[habbymum]

Really empathise. My 11 month old was breast fed up to 7 months but chose to eat all through the night and not in the day. I weaned him onto mixed feeding as he was sicky even on breast milk. Some suspected milk intolerance. We planned to increase his day intake by getting 6 feeds in from breakfast on. He fed so often at night it took a little while for him to catch up. I did give boiled water not milk at one of the night feeds to push him to eat in the day.It does take time and I had to be quite strict with myself as I was so knackered I'd allow him to feed to stay asleep. We needed to use Omneo Comfort as a formula as he struggled with any other formula. I would rec'd if any baby has sensitive tummy. This was a hard thing to do as I'm an advocate of Breast feeding but I didn't feel the quantity of milk was enough in the day. Now much improved. No night feeding now, but I do do a feed still at 11. I found feeding in the night made him more wakeful as I'm sure he thought calories for energy not sleep. I'm sure when you reduce night feeding he will eventually sleep better as he'll feed more in the day. To reduce amount of breast feeding at night I'd reduce time on each breast. I was full of milk thro the night and depleted in the day. Hope that helps, best of luck

[99redballoons]

dazzlincaz mentions something we did with ds (now 3) that I've completely forgot about. When I found it hard denying the breast with ds, dh was on night duty for a few nights and tried all manor of rocking etc to get him off again. Without me being there he didn't root on dh! So maybe dh can do the night wakings over the weekend for you so you can get some rest and give him a lie in (!) in the morning for an hour? It might break ds2's feeding habit?

Also, maybe move your mark to 6am? It is so hard when another little one is in the house but amazingly my ds sleeps on when dd wakes in the night and vice versa. Only once did dd wake ds and he rolled over quite quickly (their rooms are next to each other). So you may be surprised and find your other lo might sleep through it all! This weekend is a great one for letting ds2 try and resettle himself as dh will be home with you and can go to ds1 if he wakes.

[dazzlincaz]

giggly - sorry you are feeling so sad over your nighttime dilemma. Something that helped us at night was to keep lights low, noise to a whisper, and being VERY boring! Never found it a problem to feed los at night, but not to have play sessions That was for day time!

Sleeping in the same room as the baby when you are breastfeeding (doesn't mean the baby has to be in the bed with you, btw) causes the mum's and baby's sleep cycles to synchronise. That means mum doesn't get startled awake from deep sleep as baby will be in lighter phase of slumber before rousing to bf. Also, being close by meant the early cues of nuzzly-snuffly movements stirred me enough to offer the breast before the baby became fully alert. It doesn't suit all families to have baby in the same room, but my desire for sleep was soooooo great and it worked for us
Getting enough sleep and rest means daytimes are easier to cope with. Hope you find a way through this that is right for you.

[dazzlincaz]

Sorry wrong thread darn computer dropped my link ........grrrrr (goes off muttering..)

[jerikaka]

i shouldn't be saying this as it's probably a one off, but he slept through last night! 10-7! Isn't it amazing how much difference one nights sleep can make, I feel almost human today. Got to work on my three year old as he was up at 5am, but I can cope better with that than a whole night of broken sleep. Thanks for your advise guys, it's so nice to have some morale support when things ar ebad! :-)

[dazzlincaz]

Hope you have more peaceful nights, Jerikaka - the sleep makes you feel human again, doesn't it!

[Twinkie1]

Treat him as the enemy - you ahve to break him (thats what I had to do with DS!!) - do not pick him up - go in soothe, do not make eye contact, give sip of water if you think he really neds it and walk out saying that you will be just outside - it'll take a while as you will probably have to go back in a few times and is a nightmare but it does work!!