Co-sleeping / Moses baskets

[EmFlat]

Apologies if this does duplicate another thread... I hunted awhile but couldn't find the right one!

I'm finding myself increasingly interested in a certain degree of attachment parenting: am aiming for as natural as possible a birth (midwife-led) and babywearing for sure, and probably exclusive breastfeeding. May consider expressing so that DH can bond with Junior via the odd bottlefeed

We've got a Moses basket and a swing-crib to provide variety in finding out what Junior will take to, but I've been reading about co-sleeping too. I'm not sure it's 100% for us, but suspect it could solve the age-old worry about 'you'll get no sleep in the first few months'... especially with the BF part. Toying with the idea of whether a Moses basket right by the bed could be a compromise? Hubby is a SOUND sleeper, so may not wake as readily if littl'un is in the bed. I've heard about the 'sidecar-beds', but surely having the Moses basket nearby is almost the same? Just with an extra 'pickup' rather than a 'scooch across'...

Am due in 8 weeks, so would be really interested to hear your thoughts First-timer's nerves!

[Rooners]

Hiya

It's not quite the same as when you breastfeed, you'll still need space for the baby next to you on the bed, or on top of you, to start with.

I think plenty of people do use a moses basket by the bed, but I know I had one when ds1 was born and it never really got slept in, because by the time I had fed him, and got him back to sleep, he was kind of in the crook of my arm anyway and it seems a bit pointless to move him back to a slightly colder crib which might wake him up anyway...so we just went to sleep side by side.

I would however consider as big a bed as you can afford/fit in, as then you can have enough space for you and your DH and the baby without worrying about squashing it!

The co-sleeper cots just provide a flatter surface between you and the baby so you can kind of put your arm under him/her to feed, I suppose...not really tried one...someone will know!

All the best with everything.

[EmFlat]

Thanks Rooners appreciate the advice! Xxx.

[ArtemisTheHunter]

We bought a Moses basket but dd hated it. I don't think she slept in it for more than 2 hours total. It became an expensive laundry basket .

We ended up co sleeping with dd in our bed as the only way any of us could get any sleep. It wasn't planned initially - one night after the umpteenth failure to settle her in the basket I laid her next to me and she went straight to sleep - but we all took to it as we are attachment type parents by nature. I am EBF and dd was pretty much nocturnal to start with, feeding constantly through the night, and it was so much easier not having to lift her up and down all the time. The main down side is that, as time has gone on, the quality of my sleep in particular has declined as she takes up so much space! We have a king size bed but it's still a squeeze. I wish we had bought a sidecar cot in the first place. Co sleeping also has not made us immune from sleep problems. We are 4 weeks into a major sleep regression involving multiple night waking and refusal to be put down (dd is 5 months old). Everything I'd read about co sleeping babies suggested that they always settle happily next to you but it's not necessarily true!

[EmFlat]

I can imagine we'll try the 'Moses basket next to the bed' thing, but fall into co-sleeping if DS (to be) refuses to settle

It does sound like there are early 'pros' but later 'cons', but then again I've read about sleep regression with cot/crib sleeping too! sigh He's not even born yet & I'm worrying... may just have to resign self to trying whatever seems to work, and hope for the best

[ArtemisTheHunter]

I think that's a sensible approach Em. So much depends on your LO's own personality and temperament and they change very quickly especially in the first months. Here's hoping you get a baby that loves sleep. Good luck!

[Starballbunny]

We had a swing crib (locked) by the side of the bed. DD2 tended to start the night in there at 10-11pm, then come in for a night feed and stay co-sleeping and feeding for an hour or so and then DH would quietly slip her back in the crib.

I just got to sense when we both need our own space for a bit and when she'd stay asleep.

DD2 would then come back with us at whatever god awful hour she choose to call morning and hopefully doze of in my arm again.

[Starballbunny]

No cons. DD2 happily did the our bed to crib trick when she moved to her own room and the big cot at 6months.

I can't remember when I stopped seeing her a bit of mist nights, but I thing she must have been nearer 3 than 2 as she was in her double bed.

Never a problem because she still BF and laid still.

You could never co-sleep with FF DD1 she was the most dreadful fidget!

[CrispyCrochet]

Hi OP.

I've got a 6wo DS & we've sort of accidentally fallen into co-sleeping. I have a Moses basket by the bed (pushed right up to my side) but my LO doesn't sleep in there for very long. Similar to Star above, I can usually get him down when I first come to bed (I come to bed, feed him, wait until he's very asleep & then move him over) but he doesn't usually stay there for more than an hour or so.

I tried every trick in the first few weeks & even wrote a post asking for advice but nothing seemed to work. I was BFing him in the bed & accidentally falling asleep & feeling guilty about it. But fellow MNers assured me this was ok as long as I was taking the correct precautions to make co-sleeping as safe as possible. After that I actually was able to enjoy co-sleeping & now if I'm trying to sleep without DS in my arms I feel like I'm missing something.

All that being sad last night I did try more to get him to sleep in his basket as I'm developing what I'm calling "baby elbow" (sore elbows from holding DS).

I think ultimately you'll have to try a few things & see what works for you.

Congratulations & best of luck.

[EmFlat]

Aw, thanks everyone!

Artemis, exactly! I hope he loves sleep as much as his Daddy
Star, that sounds like a plan... just figure it out as you, and you soon get to know when they're likely to kip properly and when they'll need comfort.
Crispy, thank you for the advice I'll make sure to know what the safer co-sleeping arrangements are, just in case - if we have to try it, at least we'll know how to do so without putting him at risk. Sounds like a plan, thank you!

[Pendulum]

Hi, we used a 'sidecar' cot as you call it with DD2 who was a klingon baby and it was great. I have it in the loft with a new, unused mattress and keep meaning to sell it. If you might be interested PM me and I can give you a few more details.

[EmFlat]

Thanks, Pendulum... bless you to think of us! I might wait a while and see whether Junior's going to be a klingon (I like your phrase!), so if you still have it in about two months I might get in touch!

[dashoflime]

You sound like me OP. I was also a bit attachment-parenty but not sure about co-sleeping.
As it turned out Ds was very low birthweight and I did worry (maybe unnecessarily) about having him in the bed. He looked so fragile.
Plus duvets are a bit dangerous so we'd have had to switch to blankets and there are risk factors around drinking and being very tired to consider.
In the end, it just felt a bit too risky, so I put him in the moses basket next to the bed.

[dashoflime]

posted too soon:

He still seemed to benefit from the closeness. I think he knew I was there and I could drape a hand over into the basket to reassure him of my presence.
It was still very convenient for BF.

Cos he was so tiny the MB lasted for 6 months so we got good use out of it too

[lillian1985]

Hi, take a look ate the range of cribs and cots at sweetbambino.co.uk as that's where we bought ours. We went for the moses basket which I put next to my bed and it's easy to just put my hand over to feed him at night.

Lillian

[FrumiousBandersnatch]

I would really recommend hiring a Bednest - £99 for six months - because if your baby's long then you'll find that s/he will outgrow all but the largest Moses baskets before six months. I have several friends who moved their babies into their own rooms before they really wanted to because the baby had outgrown the basket but they couldn't fit the 'big cot' in the parents' bedroom.

[fish88]

My LO is 13wo and I felt similar to you about other parts of attachment parenting but was unsure about cosleeping. I move around a lot during the night and thought I would miss having a duvet.

Having a crib at the side of our bed has worked really well for us. Sometimes I feed in bed and sometimes get up and feed in a comfy armchair in the spare room, depends how I'm feeling. I put him down in his crib afterwards when I want my space back. He often wakes up as I put him down but I can reach out and touch him through the bars which helps settle him. I think it also helps that he can hear our breathing close by. He is normally asleep within 10 minutes.

You can't really plan it and just have to wait to see the personality of your baby. My LO is very clingy during the day and is carried around in a sling a lot but is perfectly happy to sleep in a crib at the side of me at night.

[makesamesswhenstressed]

just a note - if you can get your DH to babywear it is a lovely way for them to bond. DS is 2 now and he and DH still love having a 'slingy cuddle' when they go for a walk. It's really lovely to see.

Sorry - no help on the co-sleeping. I wish I had done this more on purpose last time and will do it properly next time, I'm hoping for tips.

[catkind]

We used a moses basket for no. 1, coslept with no. 2. Latter was far easier. We found the act of lowering child into basket invariably woke them up even if they were asleep/sleepy before. Also ds liked to sleep spread out so even going in a cot was better than a moses basket where he kept hitting the sides and waking himself up. And cosleeping baby could see/touch mum so again much easier to settle and keep asleep.

We did have a cosleeper cot which meant I could have a bit of space in bed if I wanted. Scooting a sleeping baby sideways is for some reason much easier than lowering them (or is that just ours?). We used to put a towel or little blanket under to make it easier still.

[IneedAsockamnesty]

Moses baskets/cribs/cots are meant to go right next to you or as close as you can fit them. Where else would you put the baby to sleep

If you do move into co sleeping make sure it's safe planned and don't have baby next to DH

[IneedAsockamnesty]

www.mumsnet.com/babies/cosleeping

[EmFlat]

Wow, Sock, my Mum must've been really strict with me! She had the moses basket in the room (she says) but not right by the bed at all times... 1980 must've been a different world for parenting

Thanks for the advice, though... and to everyone else for such good recommendations! Hoping DH will babywear, Stressed, he's definitely a modern man!