help getting 4 month dd to bed?

[JellyNump]

dd has slept thru the night since she was 5 weeks old, but now I have started to put her to bed at a set time each evening and she takes ages to settle. I dont really want her to be up as late as us but she just lies in her cot and is wide awakeand screams if I leave her. I have so far been feeding her while she is in her cot and eventually drops off, but there must be a better way?? I don't want her relying on her bottle to sleep.

[ladynade]

Its a tough one. She has to learn to sleep by herself and so she is going to cry (for as long as you can stand to hear her!) then just go in don't pick her up soothe/stroke/hum a little then leave the room (repeat many times)- try not to do the eye contact thing as it just makes it harder for you both. It took along time with my ds and I buckled loads i.e.picked him up sometimes as he was screaming the place down you have to do what feels right really not just whatthe textbook says-i hope this helps

[JellyNump]

I did wonder about that, but isn't she still to young to be left to cry??? I thought she had to be from 6 months??? Also sometimes she cries so much she makes herself sick!

[ladynade]

You might have to rock her in your arms to sleep then or over your shoulder.. you're right she could be too young -or let her sleep with you and then move her to her cot..thats another thing I did...bad habits I know but they are only babes for a while - just do what feels right - do you check everything too?-nappy?/too hot?/enough milk?/enough water? sorry to hear shes making herself sick-yes pick her up and cuddle her to sleep

[JellyNump]

She has always slept with us but this means she goes to bed later when we do and I want her to sleep in her cot by herself now

[VeniVidisco]

She is a bit young to expect any significant sleep patterns tbh. Alot of babies sleep through at a young age. Even more dont. This is not unusual. I would choose the path of least resistance, so do whatever works that makes both of you happy. If thats cuddles and bottle, then so be it, for the time being.

It is a good idea to get into a set bedtime routine, bottle, bath, cuddle then bed.

[Weeross]

I would agree with the routine advice ... my DS was in a routine by 11 weeks and sleeping through the night in his own cot in his own room (he was too big for his mosses basket and cot would not fit in our room). I used spaced soothing where by you put baby to bed awake and if they are making a small amount of noise you leave them as they are probably burning of excess energy. When it becomes a proper cry go into room, at this point I would always lift him in case he had wind, as soon as he is settled put him down again. When he starts crying leave him 1 min and then go in ... then 2, 3, 4 and a max of 5. It worked for me ?

[hermykne]

jellynump what time is bedtime? and she is a wee bit young yet for hoping she'll settle easily, go with the others a nd stat a bedtimme routine wiht her so she knows whats coming . now and four months down the road

[JellyNump]

She used to co sleep with us (and tbh still does if she is very unsettled during the night) as did ds. I try to put her to bed now around 7 ish, just so I can have time on my own in the evening to get some house stuff done or just relax. I put her in her cot and she'll normally smile at me and start chatting at me. I'll stay with her for a bit and she'll have her milk. If I leave or she can't see me, she will scream, if I pick her up she'll stop, if I start to lower her into the cot she screams and gets angry, which sometimes ends up with her being sick. I just want her to be used to sleeping on her own and thought it may be best to break the habit of sleeping with me now, rather than later

[Weeross]

I know my views are very much in the minority but I agree with you (and I was also breastfeeeding) ...I would Pick her up as soon as she cries instead of waiting for a set period of time as she is getting very upset but as soon as she settles put her back down ...This may go on for some time but having watched a few programmes on TV and from personal experience ... It Does Work !! It may take a lot of effort on your part and tears from both of you but it will be worth it in the end .... If both of you are well rested you will enjoy each other more. (Ps give it at least a week to work, there is no point putting yourself and her through the process for a few days then stopping)