Postive Result (sort of )

[modsaluk]

We have only ever had one full nights sleep since my DS was born and he is eight and a half months old now. He was breastfed for five months and then went on to formula. He wakes for a feed once a night and the other times for his dummy to be put back in and sometimes for a drink of water / juice. The last couple of nights he has woken about every half an hour just crying not wanting anything. We have always helped him to sleep by rocking/stroking/or just laying with him so he does not really know how to get himself to sleep. SO tonight we put him in his cot awake (1st time) and left him to cry i was outside the door all the time and kept popping in to lay him back down as he was climbing up the cot. It was the hardest ten minutes of my life to see him so upset and crying, usually he does not cry tears so it was really upsetting for me to see him that way, anyway we left him for about ten minutes he eventually laid down and is now asleep.

Sorry this was so long just needed to get it all out, did we do the right thing letting him cry i know a lot of people do not approve?

[beansprout]

You did fine - you need to sleep, he needs to sleep, he is old enough for this to be effective and he knew you were there to reassure him. I hope it continues to get better for you.

[modsaluk]

Thank you, we have always been a bit overprotective with him and picked him up when he cried/wined etc, so this was quite had to leave him to cry.

[bramblina]

IIRC they are quite aware of what they are doing at 8m. Fortunately we never had to do the cc but I fully understand what you mean and think you have done very well. I'm sure you'll reap the benefits tomorrow night.

[modsaluk]

my mother in law says we should now leave him five minutes before going in now when he wakes do people think this is ok, or should we go in ?

[beansprout]

I used to leave ds for a short while (half a minute?) to just give him the chance to settle himself. If I could hear him becoming upset I would go in and settle him and then leave. Then leave him a bit longer next time and so on. I decided that I wasn't going to "reward" him i.e. give him extra cuddles, stories, feeds etc that he didn't need. I was always there if he needed me but didn't stay longer than he needed me to. He is now 20 months and sleeps through every night as he is able to settle himself.

[modsaluk]

thank you beansprout that sounds a good ided will be hard i suppose how long did it take for it to work for you ? i think that is my problem as soon as i go in a reach for his dummy / juice or give him a cuddle, if he does not go back over i bring him in bed with me or take him downstairs.

[beansprout]

Ah - for me, that is the thing you must not do!!! If you teach him that if he cries you will get him up or take him downstairs, then he will just cry until you do one of those things. I think it is important to be firm but fair. Be there when he needs you but let him know that bedtime is bedtime. Apparently this stuff is much easier to sort out now than in a few years time!!!

[beansprout]

And remember, he has to learn this stuff and he will only know what you show him. You are not being harsh, just fair. No-one benefits if you all don't sleep.

[modsaluk]

thank you, we got so much advice when he was born did not know what to do and i suppose made a bit of a mess with bedtime routine. everything else seems fine great eater good unless he is tired.
should not complain really he is fit and healthy would just like a little more sleep.

[modsaluk]

the latest is that on Sunday night after the crying he eventually settled down and went to sleep and only woke twice in the night, i left him to go back himself the first time and did then the second time he woke he could no go back over himself so i gave him a little juice and he went back over until six am i thought ok we will get up , went into his room put his dummy in his mouth and he turned over and went back to sleep until seven twenty. WOW.

Last night was even better my husband put him to bed he gave him his bottle in his cot then put his dummy in and he cried a little as he left the room then went to sleep, my husband dream fed him at one am then he did not wake again until five, again put his dummy back in and he went back off until six am.

Tonight i was dreading doing it again but i put him in his cot gave him his milk, once he had finished i put in his dummy and gave him his comfort teddy he sleeps with and left the room waiting for him to cry but he never and is now fast sleep.

Why did we not do this months ago.

This may not sound like a big achievement to some people but from a child who woke up at least every hour for nothing and wanted to get up between five and six in the morning this is brilliant !!!

For those of who have not yet tried leaving them to cry TRY IT !!! i felt really bad the first night could have cried with him but third night on and his is sleeping !

[bramblina]

Well done modsaluk, it's so hard to ignore their cries but now you know he was just trying it on. You have control now and will not dread bed time!! Time to start having fun! Be proud of yourselves.