9 week old reflux baby won't sleep!

[lem31]

Please give me ANY advice you have.
9 week old Baby diagnosed with reflux, put on renitidine 2 weeks ago. Feeding hugely improved, overall a much happier baby.
Up until last week he would only sleep on me. Day or night, didnt matter. Only way he would sleep. Persevered with putting him in his cot every night but at best he would sleep for half an hour then wake again. He used to be able to self sooth, but can't anymore. As he has reflux he needs to be held upright for 30 minutes after his feeds so I think has got used to sleeping on me.
Last week he started sleeping like a normal baby totally out the blue. Would go for stretches of a couple of hours at least then self sooth back to sleep. This happened for 4 days. I thought it was due to the drugs kicking in at last and him no longer being uncomfortable. But for 4 nights now we are back to half hour waking, if that making me think it was just him feeling poorly after his immunisations.. The only way he will sleep is on me. I'm terrified I'm going to suffocate him as I'm so tired I now keep falling asleep with him on me. I move duvet out the way etc, but still I'm really worried.

I spend night after night soothing him then putting him down, only for him to wake again and start again. Eventually he wakes up properly and it takes me hours to get him back to sleep. When he wakes the second I hold him to me he closes his eyes and starts deep breathing, even if he has been crying in his cot. I always incline the cot mattress, burp him well and ensure he is clean and fed. Tonight I put him in his big cot rather than a Moses basket to see if his startling was waking him up when he hit on the side of the basket. No difference. I've tried swaddling him but he hates it as he sleeps with his hands above his head normally.

Been looking online but to be honest advice for reflux babies is that they don't sleep. He'll grow out if it. But I can't cope with no sleep anymore. I am starting to hate being a mum and keep wondering why the hell I did this. I will NEVER have another baby. This is hell.

Has anyone else been through this? It seems common for reflux babies. How did you cope? How did you get them to sleep?
Worth mentioning husband works 12 hour days so I am on my own with this as he needs to sleep to cope with work.
Thanks in advance.

[lem31]

Should probably add that 30 minutes is becoming more of a luxury. More often than not he wakes up within seconds of putting him down.
This really really sucks. I love my baby but I literally can't cope anymore.

[growyourown77]

Hello. Firstly, it will get better. Gradually. We've had the same situation (but no mess) and DD is now 17 weeks. She still has sone refluxy days, but isn't sick in her sleep as much (and it doesn't bother her now). She's not a brilliant sleeper but ok now, esp first sleep of the night.

I can sympathise, it's knackering. And you can't make head or tail of things in the depths of night.

You are doing most of the things. I found having her sleep on me on her side after feeds helped. I'd wear a jumper and have the covers over my legs and prop up my arms with cushions so they stayed supportive when asleep. TBH I always woke a bit every so often to check her, but it was better than being fully awake.

We tried the wedge to raise her up but it made her tip sideways when she moved.

I'm sorry I don't have any more advice, but wanted to let you know you're not alone and it will pass. Keep that mantra in your head.

It sounds like you may need to as DH to get involved a bit despite work. I ft like I had to fob it all because I wasn't at work but you can look after the baby properly in the day if you're this tired. You need to look after you too. The baby both your responsibility, so find the worst bit for you/best time for him to help but sitting baby up after feed or even cosleepong so you can 30-90 mins of sleep in spare room/on sofa.

And can you find friends or ratites to come over and give you a chance to sleep a bit in the day?

[growyourown77]

Sorry, crap one hand typing...'I felt like I had to do everything'

[lem31]

I would love hubby to help more, but put simply I don't trust him to. He is starting to get better but still can't (or won't) give him his meds, make up formula or do night feeds as he doesn't feel capable. That leaves a limit to what I can get him to do!
I suggested he get up early today to see his son before work. He bitched about it (hates mornings) then when he did actually get up I was hoping he would dress him or feed him while I got myself sorted (or screamed into a pillow) but he didn't want o do it that way. He just wanted to cuddle him, leaving me to make his breakfast as well as sort the baby!
Ended in huge row and him thinking I'm losing the plot

Thanks for your comments. Maybe I will just need to accept the co sleeping on me situation and do it as safely as I can. Does your lo now go down in her cot? I'm worried ill never get him in there if I start co sleeping...

[Binkybix]

Hi. I've got an 8 week old who's not a great sleeper. I can't offer advice really, but just wanted to say that you have it harder than me and I've really, really been struggling to cope too. It's very tough, so don't be tough on yourself too.

You sound like you're doing a great job, but like anyone you could benefit from some help. It sounds as though your DH doesn't get how hard this is. Maybe try talking at weekend when things less fraught? He could just hold him (even if DH awake) in early evening (10ish) so you can get a nap maybe? Or maybe put in a sling?

I also read somewhere that baby swings can help soothe babies with reflux and some will sleep longer in them.

I type this with baby sleeping on me after hysterical crying, also worrying about him never sleeping on his own or being able to settle himself.

[growyourown77]

Lem, yes, she does go down in cot (asleep) now and can self settle during the night most of the time (unless hungry).

I agree with binky, chat to your DH on the weekend and agree a plan of how he can be shown what to do and then do it on the weekend with you on standby giving encouragement then he could take on some feeds.

If he's still not keen he could easily take the baby from you when bottle is done and do the winding/sitting up part and let baby sleep on him (DH awake, but hey, that's how it rolls...) so you can get a power nap.

I'd also suggest speaking to your HV/GP - they may back up these suggestions and you could pass that to DH. HVs are there to talk to about these sorts of issues, may have others suggestions.

[PK1975]

Hi. Our DD has reflux. She will still only sleep on me during the day but at night she will go down in her crib. She slept very badly at first (restless and noisy). I bf and then gave a formula top up before putting her down in her crib. We then changed the normal formula to cow & gate reflux and put a towel under her mattress which helped a lot. She was a much happier baby after that

[Queenofknickers]

Just wanted to offer sympathy - my DS (now 8yo) was exactly the same as a baby and I felt just like you. Support and BREAKS is what you need - train your husband to take over at weekends - none of us feel capable as parents at first - he will learn. We propped up the cot with books, had a wedge, had gaviscon, ranitidine and domperidone but frequently just gave him and slept with him in our bed. I did once sleep in the cot with him in desperation- not recommended!! What about one of these side-by-side cots they have now? If its any reassurance he did eventually sleep through in his cot and now shows no inclination to co-sleep so don't worry - do whatever you need to do to survive

[lem31]

Thanks everyone for the support. Good to know I'm not alone. Hubby has agreed to do more so I can sleep and I am hoping things will start to improve soon. I just need to remember it all takes time. Just hard to be rational when soooo tired.
Good to know co sleeping doesn't always result in never getting them to sleep alone as that s a I worry for me.
I've spent a small fortune on things to hopefully help, although either the co sleeping pod or a swing are next on my list so interesting they're recommended here too.
Happy keeping guys. Xx