Support thread for getting DC into own room

(89 Posts)
Forgetfulmog Fri 24-May-13 09:05:05

Hi!

I've been co-sleeping with dd for about 4 months now (completely unintentional - she just wouldn't settle on her own). Anyway she's now 8.5 months & have decided that tonight is the night we will start putting her in her own cot in her own room. Aaarghhh!

She's ebf & atm wakes up 1-2 hourly for feeds. Hopefully this won't continue in her own room!

DH & I are going to try the NCSS, but I suspect we may just end up making it up as we go along grin. We are completely anti cc (no offence to anyone who's tried it, but it's just not for us). We've agreed that, no matter what, dd is not coming into our bed (famous last words!).

So, anyone else trying to get their DC into their own room & want to share tips, concerns or rants?? smile

Forgetfulmog Thu 20-Jun-13 14:56:01

Thanks for your support happy. It's just so hard isn't it sometimes? I'm just close to breaking point these days so know it's definately time to do something about it! Dd has got a cold now though (I mean why not! Since her chickenpox is going she needs to have some other illness to contend with!) so know there's no point trying anything atm, but we need to when she's better. I guess that's what being a parent is all about, making hard decisions. Oh & completely agree with what you wrote about cc btw

happydaze77 Thu 20-Jun-13 14:12:50

Hi again forgetful. I haven't got any useful advice unfortunately but I just wanted to send my support and say don't feel bad about cc. We came very close to trying it.
I read several sleep sites and blogs (haven't we all!) and I some points were well made:
Nobody plans to let their child cry it out."
Anyone who hasn't considered controlled crying simply isn't tired/desperate enough. "
You are the best judge of what is right for your dd, and for your family.

Forgetfulmog Thu 20-Jun-13 08:02:51

Ok, think we may have hit the point where DH & I are desparate for change.

Dd refuses to go down in her cot now at all, just screams & neither of us have got the energy to peruse it. She's not even sleeping v well in our bed either - can take ages to get her to sleep & then she keeps waking up for feeds/crying.

Primal - you mentioned you were doing a form of cc, did it work? Could you tell me a bit more about it please? Btw, I'm sorry for being judgmental about it before. I just need something to work because neither DH nor I can carry on like this.

Forgetfulmog Mon 17-Jun-13 20:21:58

That's good happy, pleased all seems to be going well.

Thanks for asking smile, she's getting better & her spots are scabbing over nicely. We're back to the old bedtime routine of DH holding her for an hr, then me coming up & taking over. DH is going to take a week off work so we can go for it & get her settled in her own room. Just fingers crossed no more illnesses shock

happydaze77 Mon 17-Jun-13 20:03:42

Just checking in. Nothing new to report really. DD in cot after dreamfeed still, haven't yet tried starting bedtime in there. Yet.
Forgetful - how is your dd? Is she over the chicken pox yet? At least you've gone one of the illnesses over and done with hey?

Forgetfulmog Thu 13-Jun-13 08:00:25

She's 9 months wiggy. I can't use the nasal stuff on her, was able to when she was a newborn, but now she's got wise to it & twists her head all over the place so it ends up going in her eye, which just makes her cry even more.

Our routine has just gone to pot atm, we're just doing whatever it takes to ensure we get some sleep, but it's not that much really!

Glad your daytime naps are going well wiggy. Good luck on the nighttimes now!

Wiggy29 Wed 12-Jun-13 21:34:13

Forgetful- remind me how old your dd is.

Wiggy29 Wed 12-Jun-13 21:33:36

Hi forgetful, have you tried a saline nasal spray? They can be used from birth.

Day time naps are fab BUT now he's so used to the whole swaddle/darkness thing that he doesn't want to sleep if we're out&about. So when out I'm having to let him fall asleep on me.

No change on the night time, dp hasn't had chance to put cot in our room (needs to be taken down to fit out). We MUST get this done soon as it's far too hot in the mo and as ds is getting older he's rolling round more&sleeping star fish! My back is killing me from hanging off the edge of the bed!

Forgetfulmog Tue 11-Jun-13 10:05:36

So how's everyone been getting on?

I've had to give up for the time being - had D&V over the weekend & dd now has chickenpox so it's back to co-sleeping for now. We're not doing an evening routine at all atm, dd is quite sleepy anyway so I'm just letting her sleep on me on the sofa & taking her up when I'm ready to go to bed.

Maybe we'll get there by the time she's ready to start school <hopeful>

Forgetfulmog Fri 07-Jun-13 08:40:29

So dd only lasted an hr in her cot last night hmm

Slept with her last night & she only fed twice shock, which was very unusual! She was & is still very snotty & I'm convinced that's what is stopping her sleep in the cot. I've been using the Snuffle Babe, but it doesn't really seem very effective anymore, also Calpol - any other tips? I don't have a humidifier ...

Wiggy, primal & happy - how have your LOs been?

Forgetfulmog Thu 06-Jun-13 18:49:08

Thanks wiggy. Yes she does have a dummy, although she is starting to use it less & less (her choice).

Fingers crossed for tonight smile

Wiggy29 Thu 06-Jun-13 14:20:37

It does get better, your dd sounds like my ds1. He got a bit better at about 7 months with weaning in full flow (was still bf until 10 months)& still woke about once every night until about 18 months. That said, when he did start sleeping through he was amazing&has slept for 12 hours virtually every night since & he's 8 now. Looking back, there was not much I could have done differently as he had terrible reflux. I've learnt from number 2 that every baby is different& you have to find what suits you/them. Does your dd have a dummy? Ds2 just has it for naps/bed& that helps.

Forgetfulmog Thu 06-Jun-13 07:57:59

Oh & yes the jabs are probably to blame. Only one set left to go before he's 1 though. Dd was absolutely fine after her last set (I was expecting it to be really bad as there are 3 jabs!)

Forgetfulmog Thu 06-Jun-13 07:56:15

Wiggy - I have tied a muslin to her cot bars as something for her to hold onto. She's never liked being swaddled so I don't think that'll work, but I do have her in a gro-bag. She's so grumpy at the moment - I know her snotty nose isn't helping. She's had this for nearly 2 weeks now, surely it must get better soon?

I sympathise about your back, mine is not liking the bending over the cot to soothe dd.

Well she managed until 11.30 last night. Tried to settle her twice but she wasn't having it so brought her into our bed. Up at 5.30 as usual.

God, please tell me it gets easier...

I'm glad the naps are going well wiggy & enjoy your day today, hope you're going to spend it relaxing smile

Wiggy29 Thu 06-Jun-13 07:17:42

Forgetful- How about a muslin square? Ds likes to rub one on his cheek. Or maybe those rings you use to attach things tonplay gyms/ pram etc, you can get textured ones for teething&they can be pulled/ mangled/ bitten etc. Not sure if 9 months is too old, but what about swaddling? I think that's been part of reason ds has been napping well, the times he does cry after being put down, 99% of time he's wriggles arms out & is flapping around.

Took 30mins to get ds to sleep last night&had to cuddle him in the end, he had his 2nd set of jabs yesterday so wondered if it was that. Had another good night but really need to get him in own bed as my back is aching from squashing in to accommodate us as he tends to sleep star fish (we remove swaddle after 10:30 feed as he shares our blanket).

Talking of naps, my plan for today is to try&sleep when he does! Don't normally feel I need a nap but today I don't have to do school run with ds1 so taking advantage&staying in pjs. Will have to resist urge to have ds2 in my bed for cuddles as he'd prob sleep for longer but don't want to back track after he's been doing so well, he had a 90 minute sleep in his own cot&room yesterday morning!

Forgetfulmog Wed 05-Jun-13 17:01:08

Thepest - I give her her last feed in her room (DH reads her a story while she's playing after tea, before her bath). She's nearly 9 months so I don't know if the 9 month sleep regression is having its toll. Thanks for the tip about the humidifier. I haven't got one at the moment so may give her some calpol later just to dry up her nose. Love the story about the cottage pie!

That's another thing - were doing mainly BLW & dd isn't too fussed on her food atm - she goes through phases, sometimes she eats loads & other times not that much.

Happy - she has a little bunny, but doesn't seem interested - whenever I put it in her hands she just flings it. It's more the biting & chewing that's the issue (although the pinching is starting to take its toll too).

I'm eating a lot of chocolate spread to get myself through this grin

happydaze77 Wed 05-Jun-13 09:42:22

though = thought (awful typing, again...)

happydaze77 Wed 05-Jun-13 09:41:48

Just a though forgetfulmog - does your dd have a teddy to sleep with? When I feed dd she has the same soft toy to pull/pinch/bat at (saves my clothes and boobs!). We've just started putting it in the cot with her if she doesn't seem likely to settle and it often* works (*not always, but what does hey?)
I'm pretty sure a soft toy is ok at their age? Please anyone correct me if not. My dd is 7months now.
Can't think of anything else helpful atm, sorry.

thepestinthevest Wed 05-Jun-13 09:25:34

grin at Iron Maiden

Just wanted to say keep going ladies. I remember those hellish days and nights.

The cold will definitely be playing its part it messing it up. Doesn't always work for everyone but I swear by the humidifier for DS when he is snotty.

Can I ask, sorry if I've missed it, do you do anything else in their room with them? I don't mean playtime, but do you give the bedtime feeds in the room, bedtime story?

When you do night feeds do you do it in the dark?

Hang in there. My DS got to 7 months before he would sleep from 8-1 then 2-6, at 9 months he went from 8pm-6am then 11 months he was 8-7. Colds and teething can throw it out of sync for a bit. He made giant leaps in his sleeping as he moved onto proper meals and snacks.

We once got a 13 hr sleep out of him after he'd eaten a load of DH's cottage pie and peas smile

Forgetfulmog Wed 05-Jun-13 08:50:10

Please someone give me so advice & hope here, we seem to be going backwards.

Last night I fed dd at 6.30 (she usually gets sleepy when I do this), but she was still wide awake so I held her for a bit then fed her again & this time she got sleepy (about 7) so put her down with the white noise & she fell asleep.

Woke up crying at 8.30, fed her (to try to settle her), but she wouldn't settle so after about 40 mins I brought her into bed. She still wouldn't settle & kept chatting away, alternating with crying. I fed her again, still nothing & by this time I was getting quite upset (she's been biting & chewing my nipple & her latch doesn't seem too great either so my nips feel very bruised & sore).

She did eventually settle around 10.30 & slept next to me, waking up a few times for feeds.

I'm just feeling so despondent; I don't know if it's because her cold is still lingering, or if she's teething (still no teeth btw) or what, but we just seem to be going backwards now. Is this the 9 month regression (she's 9 months next week btw)? It seems so unfair as she's never been a great sleeper anyway.

I'm tired, feeling sore & just fed up.

I'm glad for you though wiggy that things seem to be going well <tries but fails to put self into more positive mood>

Wiggy29 Tue 04-Jun-13 21:23:26

Hey folks, all good here. Still napping during day in cot&only having dummy for sleeping. That said, what you posted feels familiar as I've noticed that since napping in own cot, ds is in a much lighter sleep. Previously, if he was (for example) in the sling asleep, I could hoover&he wouldn't stir. Today though, I woke him (he was in the cot) by quietly chatting on phone. Next step is cot in our room&trying to put him down for his night sleep in there.

Forgetful- I have no idea, how long have they been asleep at that point? I'm sure I remember reading that we sleep in cycles (think it was about 90 mins)&if we are woke at certain points it can be v.hard to get back over. Could it be the recent warm weather&maybe just too hot?

Happy- you sound like you're a step ahead of us. Our next aim is to get him to spend part of the night in his cot (as opposed to our bed). I anticipate the hardest part will be resisting just taking him back in with us if he twists for the sake of some precious shut eye.

Forgetfulmog Tue 04-Jun-13 15:17:43

Well last night was interesting ...

Dd decided at bed time she wasn't tired so ended up bringing her back downstairs & then up to bed a bit later. She woke up once & then slept till about 1. Then after I had fed her I just couldn't get her to settle so brought her into bed

Does anyone have any ideas why she is refusing to settle after about 12.30 - 1am??? It's been like that for a few nights now, really weird!

Forgetfulmog Mon 03-Jun-13 12:18:01

Garrr! Dd has just fallen asleep on me, but it's lunchtime & I'm hungry!!

<wails>

<need biscuits>

Forgetfulmog Mon 03-Jun-13 12:10:42

Oh the needing the toilet whilst dd is napping! There have been times when I've actually thought I might wet myself as I've been so desparate to go but dd hasn't woken up!

I think I did see it yes, will do a search though to refresh my memory...

I think they make it up happy! If dd sleeps any longer than about an he without making some noise I get freaked out & am almost willing her to wake up so I know she's ok blush!

happydaze77 Mon 03-Jun-13 09:52:06

so = see (rubbish typing)

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