Thinking to try for no 2.. when is sleep finally not an issue? When they're 7?

(17 Posts)
Fazerina Wed 01-May-13 00:58:11

DS will be 2 in a few days. He's a terrible sleeper, completely unable to self-settle and basically a co-sleeping boobmonster.. I've been meaning to take him to an osteopath, but can't really afford it right now. I really want a second child before the age gap is too long for them to have company of each other so must get cracking soonish.

I realise those people, whose DC are older than mine and sleeping well are probably not on the Sleep-board, but thought to see if I get any responses nonetheless. So when do they finally sleep well, in their own room, without a peep until morning? When they're 6, 7, 8?? I've no idea how I'm going to manage two DC if they're both crappy sleepers..

WhatSheSaid Wed 01-May-13 01:03:26

Depends on the child tbh. Dc1 was pretty much reliably sleeping through from about 11 months, she lulled me into a false sense of security. Dc2 was more hit and miss till she was about 2. Now at 2.10 she will wake at night maybe once a month.

PogoBob Wed 01-May-13 01:33:53

DD is 2 3/4 and still wakes up to 3 times every night and is fighting weaning for all she is worth. DS is 4mo now and generally sleeps from 11pm to 6am and has done for the last month at least. No 2 can be a much better sleeper.

Longdistance Wed 01-May-13 01:38:36

Dd1 was an awful sleeper, and still wakes randomly through the night. She's 3.7, and dies sleep through now, but we still struggle getting her to bed of an evening. Last time se woke was a week ago, put her back, and she was fine.
We have dd2 who is now 22mo, and a dream sleeper from the off. She slept through from 9 weeks old, and has been consistent since. She still has a 3 hour nap in the afternoons. She was also bf. Think it was the luck of the drawer with her smile

emmyloo2 Wed 01-May-13 07:58:12

Good bloody question! I have a 2.5 year old and I really thought by this age his sleep would be sorted. Nope. Wakes every night.

and I am expecting number 2 in a little over three weeks. No idea how I am going to cope with that. The only slight positive I see is at least I haven't been lulled back into expecting decent sleep before being hit with a newborn. I am used to disturbed sleep. I am resigning myself to another 2-3 years of this, which is very very depressing.

Fazerina Fri 03-May-13 23:11:46

Well evening ladies! Wau, I didn't really expect any replies and didn't check back until nowsmile..

emmyloo2, I feel your pain. Well, I feel everyone else's too, but yours seems the most accute. This is where I fear I'll be in about a year's time when I'll hopefully be at the last stages of pregnancy with no2. At times it makes me question my wish to have a no2 at all confused. But then again, I want DS to have a sibling and sometimes I feel really guilty for not having been able to teach him to sleep properly, if that makes sense..

Currently our routine has gone complitely to pot!! It takes him about an hour to go to sleep for his nap and he won't settle without the boob and I have to lie there next to him the whole time he naps, which is usually from 2-3pm. BT is then around 8.30pm, because he won't be tired before then and yes, you guessed it, it takes another 1h for him to fall asleep, again with the boob. He then wakes at around 10pm and comes to the living room and gets taken back by DH. At 11pm we all go into the bedroom, where I have to boobify him to sleep and start work on my laptop being constantly interrupted by him until I finally give up and go to sleep at around 1.30am. He then wakes once in the night and sleeps in until 9.30am!! Which is great of course, given my late working etc. But we can never go to any toddler groups etc. .. Sorry for the rant, slightly off the topic, but had to vent out blush..

emoo777 Sat 04-May-13 07:20:19

Fazerina - does your DS actually need an afternoon nap? I am just wondering, if he takes so long to settle and isn't able to get to sleep before 8:30.. I have seen loads of my friends in this pattern and what has finally solved it is cutting out the afternoon nap. Just substitute with 'quiet time'. If he is tired at the end of the day he will find it much easier to fall asleep on his own.

Fazerina Sat 04-May-13 13:57:54

Hey, yes I thought ckthat was the case too and tried to cout out the nap, but it was even worseh then and he ended up being awake as total of 14h and an absolute wreck shock!

But then again, last time I tried to drop the nap was about 5 weeks ago, so perhaps I should try that again.. I think to start with I'll try cutting down the nap to about 45min to 1h and work my way down from there.. Also, I know I should just wake him up at say 8am to re-set his routine. If only I had the energy; it's so tempting to just have a lie-in when I've gone to sleep around 1.30am and had disturbed sleep confused..

Fazerina Sat 04-May-13 14:06:36

Sorry for the typos, on my phone blush!

NeedlesCuties Sat 04-May-13 17:51:39

DS slept like a dream until 2.5 years old when his sister was born sad

She's 8 months old and a terrible sleeper, very rarely has slept more than 2 hours at a time. DS started to wake up approx 3 times a night when she was born and 8 months later it's still happening.

ARGH!!!!!!!

DH sleeps on DS's floor and I end up co-sleeping in the big bed with DD as I'm dead on my feet if I get up and down to settle her in her room a million times a night.

No advice, OP, and sorry to be a moan, but I had to get it off my chest!

I need wine

Fazerina Sat 04-May-13 20:06:24

NeedlesCuties, here have one on me [wíne], sounds like you need it more than me!

Right, I have now pretty much established that sleep with small children is going to be a rare luxury, so have decided to go with the flow in the hope that by the time they hit teen years and sleep around the clock if allowed, I will have forgot about this torture grin!

Fazerina Sat 04-May-13 20:08:47

Hahaha! My phone is really letting me down today grin!! Here, have two vinos wine wine

emmyloo2 Mon 06-May-13 08:03:16

Needlescuties - I know it's painful for you, but god it makes me feel better to hear others don't have perfect sleeping 2.5 year olds. Sometimes I feel like we are the only ones out there.

My husband spent last night asleep on the trundle bed of our son's bed. Ok, he is sick at the moment with a dreadful cold and so is very restless, but I am honestly considering putting a mattress on the floor of our room for him to sleep on, just so he stops waking us.

Although not sure how that will work with a newborn also sleeping our room.

Jesus Christ this sucks doesn't it??

OneLittleToddleTerror Mon 06-May-13 08:08:43

No advice, but it depends on the child. Mine slept through from 2-3mo, regressed to waking up 2-3 times a night between 7 and 15mo. And back to sleeping through after 15mo. DD is now 2yo. She did regressed again when we removed the side of her cotbed, because I didn't want to buy a new grobag. (She can climb out of her cot without a grobag). But we wisely put the sides back on after 2 weeks. Sleep is worth more than a couple of grobags!

I didn't do any sleep training. DD was EBF and BLW. So she's raised on the holy grail of all the things that's not supposed to help with sleep.

Don't worry too much. My post isn't to make you feel like a failure. Your second one might be a good sleeper like my DD.

OneLittleToddleTerror Mon 06-May-13 08:11:21

And needles story might be me in the future wink.

Iwillorderthefood Mon 06-May-13 08:26:07

First DD slept like a dream from about 6 weeks she has a regular time to feed in the night, and by 3 months or so she dropped this.

DD2 was a nightmare,she had constant ear issues and always needed milk to fall asleep. She has grommets at about 18 months however did not fall asleep and stay asleep on her own until I could tell her that the whole thing had to stop as I was so tired, and if she woke in the night, she would get water and nothing else. She was around 2.25 at time and I managed to get her to understand just by talking to her! I did this then as I knew she was no longer in pain and that her sleep issues were more of a habit.

I hope that you get this sorted, soon as it is awful. I wonder if it would be possible to start cutting the milk? Also why is your child being taken down in the evening after being asleep for a time? If this happens surely it is more exciting to wake up than be asleep? Try to keep that late evening waking very boring. No interaction, no eye contact, a bored mutter of its late please go back to sleep might just help a bit.

Good luck.

CoteDAzur Mon 06-May-13 08:26:23

Fazerina - Your DS is 2-years-old. Why are you lying next to him as he naps and breastfeeding him through the night?

You are the parent, and he is the child. It is very much in your power to change his bad habits. Talk to him about how things are now going to change, and stick to those changes.

Put him to sleep in his bedroom and take him back to his bed whenever he wakes. It will be tough for a few nights but then it will be fine. No boob to sleep from now on, because he is not a baby. Make a whole song and dance about how he is such a big boy now - make him a pirate or a knight, give him a pirate/knight name ("Sir Sleepsalot"? smile) and stop babying him.

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